i contacted hsv from a prostitute. i didn't know i got it and passed it on to my wife. it's been 2 years since it happened. my marriage is going downhill. if i haven't lost my wife legally, i've lost her emotionally. she told me that the only thing still keeping her from divorcing me is the kids. i try to amend and still hope for the better. i love my wife and will never stop loving her.
i get frequent outbreaks, sometimes as often as every month. my wife has it less frequent. however, everytime she gets it, she hates me and wants to kick me out.
i wish i can turn back time. i wish i didn't cross the line. i pray there'll be better tomorrow, but there doesn't seem to be a light in the end of the tunnel.
I found out 2 weeks ago that I have hsv and I did not have it in February of 2008. The only person I have been with is my son's father. Our story is whacked and too long and involved to tell.
But boils down to after his cheating, my moving 630 miles away from him, separated for 3and a half years, then our son having a serious sudden illness on Christmas day, his finding out he had cancer and both of us realizing that all of the feelings were still there and we just want to be together. Lots of apologies and regrets and promises, for him, and the relief that comes after giving someone forgiveness and meaning it and letting go of the anger for me. Then I am hit with this positive test and I realize that by making the choice to get back with him, knowing the history, and not knowing where and who he had been with during our time apart, I set myself up for this. But.....I love him more than I did before our separation. We are more open, honest, considerate than we were before. Unlike your situation, we were able to heal and work through the betrayal and the hellish everything that goes with it, all on its own.
As of last week, it is now 4 years since I found out and we separated. We started talking about reconciling in January '08. I said no to him many times in jan, feb, and march that followed. And I changed my mind a couple times along the way too. But he was patient. And he was able to show sincerity, empathy, regret, to admit that he made a bad choice, and to acknowledge things that we both missed out on by being apart. now on top of surviving prostate cancer, he is living with Hsv. I think your wife is dealing with a Double Whammy. Betrayal and this infection. Each one is difficult enough on its own. I cant imagine dealing with both at the same time, each one reminds of the other and each one makes the other Flare up, one physically and the other mentally and emotionally. I would be in counseling if I were her.
But both of you are affecting your health and your outbreaks, however, with this huge STRESS!! Stress causes outbreaks.
Go to WebMD, and read the info about genital herpes. Read the part titled "All about Genital Herpes: Coping with Diagnosis" Especially the part thats subtitled "Challenge your feelings about Genital Herpes" and "Dealing with anger..." There is some really good stuff there. Remember this, 1 in every 4 women and 1 in every 5 men have this disease. It is more common than Asthma and Diabetes. It will not kill you and rarely has dangerous side effects. I was very angry a couple of weeks ago while waiting for my results. What I read really helped me to put this in perspective. I hope you can get your wife to read these items too.
Tell her she can be as mad at you as she wants to, but reading this is Her doing something good for Her!
My favorite line from this WebMD info....YOU are not herpes: you have herpes.
Meantime, you both have to pump up your immune system to lessen your outbreaks. Everything I read says so. That is what I am doing. Even some foods that are common to eat can trigger outbreaks especially nuts and nut butters, chocolate and gelatine. Arginine is an amino acid that is a trigger and LYSINE is an amino acid which is a blocker. "Food your Miracle Medicine" Jean Carper is a decent book. "Prescription for Nutritional Healing" by Balch and Balch is Really useful for any illness.
You will always remember your bad choice and so will she, but it is time to cope with it. It is a life adjustment. An occasional nuisance. There are 50 million of us living it. Love and happiness should take up more of your time than this virus does.