My husband and I haven't been doing so great, mostly since I found out I had contracted the virus.

I KNOW i shouldn't be angry still, and in a majority of the sense, I'm truly not. I think I'm just realizing that if the tables were turned, he would have left me. And told everyone we knew because he is just that big of a jerk. I'm realizing, how my life is too short to be with someone who would not sacrifice their health and their body to be with me? If that makes sense to anyone who might eventually read this?

I'm starting to barely feel anything when he says I love you, when he writes kind emails, I'm starting to feel like we have nothing in common. I am thinking that I was just blind, cause I didn't want anyone else to have him.

So the dilemma lies in this:
Am I feeling this way cause I resent him for what has happened?
OR
Am I feeling this way cause I'm realizing I deserve as much love back as I give?

I'm severely confused. I know our relationship hasn't been that great, we have been apart more then we have been together, literally. But we have made it 4 years.... thats gotta mean something. Did I mention we were 19 & 20 when we got married? It is just a giant cluster f*** in my head.

Advice... please.