I am in a committed relationship(never cheated) and I found out that I had genital herpes. My first outbreak was the worst, I went to the doctors for a schedule apt and was diagnosed with GH. I didn't beleive her until I discovered my first outbreak in the shower. I cried my heart out ran out the bathroom grabed my medication and stuffed it down my throat. My boyfriend followed me and begged me to tell him what was wrong so I told him while sobing and crying my heart out. At this point while telling him I planned to pack my things and find a new place to live because I just new he did't want me any more. Well I was wrong he confessed how much he loves me and that he wants to be with me no matter what. All the more I felt disscused and wanted to be alone instead he held me every night  and whispered soft words in my ear as I cried continuously. It's been three weeks and the hardest part is having sex with the man that I love. He spent all this money on protection; female condoms everything and promises me that he  will never look at me different, yet some how I think otherwise.  So far I've had sex twice now with him and I feel weired afterwards but he just holds me and tells me we can just wait as long as I want until I'm ready. I love this man with all of my heart I keep thinking I'm going to loose him but he keeps telling me he's not going anywhere. I tried to leave but he won't let me. How do I over come this state of feeling disscused or that I'm the walking plague? I feel that he would be better off without me. How do I enjoy sex again with the one that I love?