I just can't...

Well I know how you feel. I am 46 years old and was clean up until this May. I made the mistake and trusted a so-called friend.  He knew, has had it for 20 years. I was devasted and horrified. I almost had wished the doctor told me I had cancer versus this thing.

I fear having to get close to someone and have to tell them. It is not my fault, yes I know I did have unprotected sex, but had he told me no way. I knew him for a long time and never dreamed this would happen.

I have only had one severe outbreak. I think I am having one now. It is not like the first no bumps, no discomfort.

Wow, I can't believe your boyfriend is having unprotected sex. That is really playing Russian Roulette.

Well just take one day at a time. I am sure it will get better. I try not to think about it. I too am so mad at myself. I recently joined a dating site with people in the same boat. I have not met anyone I would care to pursue but it has helped. They have been very supportive and offered advice and stories. Again just hang in there somehow we will survive.

Scarred and violated

Wow, see, that's what I'm worried about... thinking you can trust someone and they turn around and stab you in the back... althought I know and hear that's life.

Sometimes, I feel like my boyfriend doesn't even care about it, as long as he can "get some"... ugh, I don't know.

With that dating site, as long as you find someone beautiful on the inside, then that all that matters.

Thank you for replying, I hope all is well for you.

I have been on Valtrex since I first was dianogsed, but I only take it when I have an outbreak, my (new) doctor told me she only puts patients on Valtrex daily when they have 5+ outbreaks... so hopefully I won't get more. She did tell me about the Acyclovir, but she said it wouldn't be neccasary right now.

I have been noticing that my outbreaks are getting less painful, my first and second one was almost unbearable. And although my outbreaks are less painful, my stress feels like it is building up.

My boyfriend (of 2 1/2 years) and I barely use condoms, not because I don't want too, but because they just seem to put me in a lot of pain, even the extra senstive ones. But every now and again I do deal with the pain.

I went to the doctor on Wednesday and she told me that I am having an outbreak, a yeast infection, and another bacteria infection... ugh, it is very hard to think postive, but thank you very much for responding, you did make me feel better.

Well, I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years now and obviously he knows. I don't think it seems to affect him that much because he is still okay with having unprotected sex. But he is upset that I have it and could have given it to him.

But I know how you feel about not being sexual, I barely ever want to have sex anymore, because I feel gross, so of course my boyfriend (Richard) is always getting mad at me. This leads into fights, where he can be a total and complete jerk about me having herpes. Although I love him, I wouldn't mind finding someone else right about now.

But I am too afriad to be someone else because of the fact that I have herpes, for the exact same reasons you are. (Sadly,this leads me into being with a jerk.)

I don't want anyone to be in my shoes, so if the guy you are dating is super sweet like you say, maybe he would understand? How long have you been seeing him?

But if anything, I wouldn't want him to by like Richard either... (say it's okay, but then say other crap too, cause then you would be stuck in the same situation as me, which is crappy).

I think they only we way we can overcome our fears for being with someone, is if we can find a way to overcome the fact we have herpes... which is a total bummer.

Hey there, You are young and the crowd you hang with are still probably imature. If you get to that place with this person, just be very honest with him and tell him a codom will protect him.and also if you have this feeling that he would make you feel nasty about this disease, you need to stay with your gut!!!!!!!!!!! and do not say a word, also it is against the Law for anyone to disclose. this information i the wrong contexts. They can be sued by YOU. So from here on out ,(especially as young as you are, you are going to have to be very selective with whom you are with , Maybe go with someone a little older) Ayway my STD is on his way home, so going to log off for now. Let me know what you decide to do. PEACE EVERYONE

Well, I am in even a worse situation than you.  I have been so conservative and really not promiscuous.  Have only been with a few guys in serious committed relationships.  I finally got married at 37 and got "H" 2 from my hubby on our honeymoon.  Since then our relationship has deteriorated and we fight all the time, about everything other than the fact that he gave it to me.  He won't get the proper test cause he doesn't see the point.  I am afraid that if we don't end up staying married how could I ever meet someone else that would want to be with me at this age knowing that I have this virus through no fault of my own.   Anyone have any advice? 

When i found out i had herpes i thought i was going to die, the pain was unbearable and I figured that this was if for the rest of my life. I wouldn't be able to sleep with another man incase i passed it on, i felt sooo ashamed and although i knew whom i had contracted it from i never spoke to him about it, i certainly didn't tell anyone other than my GP. Every time i had an outbreak i was so lonely and trapped by it, i felt like people were looking at me, like they knew. I spent 2 years like this and really it was a waste, at 20 a friend confided in me that she had "crabs" i helped her deal with her feelings/emotions and also felt comfortable to share my secret.....i felt like a weight had been lifted, if you have someone who you can trust then i have found talking a great release, and surprisingly i found i wasn't alone. I am now 31, married with 2 kids, my husband is aware of the herpes but i can't actually remember my last flare up...years ago maybe as many as 6. and it does become easier, less painful, bearable to cope with even. I have noticed that if i let myself become run down, or if i am ill then it can break out, so for you, especially young girls, out there, do your best to keep healthy and take care of yourself...it's a rough time at first but it will get better, you are not on your're own and once you get your emotions under control a bit and you can see light at the end of the tunnel then you will realise that this will make you a stronger person.

When I found out that I had herpes, my dad had told me that he was dianogsed with warts when he was 16... I will admit it did make me feel some comfort, knowing I could talk to him about it, but I just feel embrassed. "Hey dad, could you help comfort you whore for a daughter?".... that's how I feel, that's how I think, unfortunatley.

I feel that my outbreaks are getting alot better since my first and second one, they where the most painful ones, couldn't even go to the bathroom without crying... so I am looking forward to having less outbreaks as I get older. I guess I just have to look into my future, knowing that one day I will have a beautiful family, less breaksouts, etc.

I just hope I can make myself feel stronger soon... One day at a time, I suppose.

Thank you for replying.

Maybe once I have a child I can let myself feel beautiful.. because I will know that I have to be strong for them, but right now it's just so hard.

Thank you for replying.