I just can't...

I turned 18, April of 2008, by that time I already slept with 8 different guys (some with condoms and some with not)... by Novemeber of 2008, I was diagnosed with genital herpes (type 2). I felt like my whole life was over and still do. It is now October 2009, I am dealing with my 3rd outbreak and depression. Yesterday I just felt like I wanted to die. Everytime I get an outbreak, I just get so mad at myself. I can't get over the fact that I have herpes. With my stupid and immature mistakes as a teenager, I am now paying the price. I regret even having sex to start with, let along letting myself go and sleeping with so many guys. I feel so ashamed of myself, when I have to go to the pharamacy and pick up my Valtrex, or going to a new doctor and marking herpes/fever blisters on the new patient form, for the staff and doctor to see. I hate this, I hate the feeling, I hate having herpes. I feel that there isn't any way that I could feel good about herpes. And although I do have a supporting family (Thank God), I know that they don't understand.

.. I just want to know if there are other people out there feeling the same way I am? (Can't accept the fact that we are living with herpes for the rest of our lives)