I am so mad that i just wanna scream!!!!!!!!!!!!! For the first time my husband is sleeping with boxers on. He usually sleeps with nothing. It make wonder what he's thinking. Am I that disgusting. He doesn't want to kiss me like he use to. There are so many emotions going on, I don't know what to think. I feel like moving to another room in the house. What should I do? Will I ever feel true love again?
When I first got tested positve for genital herpes I was so afraid of telling my fiance. I finally told him, and he was freaking out at first. He then started doing a ton of research so we would know exactly what we were dealing with. He's the one that's helping me get through this. If anything this has brought us closer. You husband just needs time to take it all in. He's probably thinking oh man what if I get this disease I don't want it. He might also be trying to accept it in his own way. He just needs a little time to think about the future with the two of you. If anything just do your own research and sit down with him to inform him of this disease. That's what me and my fiance did and it really helped the both of us just to talk about it. And no you are not disgusting!!! I know it's going to be hard but this is your test to see how strong of a relationship you and your husband have. At least that's what I think. You just need to stay strong and believe that you two will be okay. I will keep you in my prayers. Take Care
Hey there, I know how you feel, If he does not have herpes, this may be the beging of your Husband wanting out, but he will make up things to say that it is not the diease. I do not know what else to tell you, because I do not know how hw is acting throughout the day. and hoe he talk's to you,and the things he says to you. can you e-mail me and tell me hoe he is really acting and that he does not have this diease. from your posting it sounds like he does not have it. Vickie
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Try being patient with him and don't beat yourself up. Herpes is confusing and scary to those of us who have it and to those who we are in relationships with. I don't know the dynamic of your marriage.... if your husband loves you, he will come around eventually. For right now, he is probably just scared uninformed. He should be being very supportive of you, but for many people they are dealing with their own emotions and fears which overwhelm their ability to be comforting and sympathetic.
There are 2 ways of looking at herpes: one that it is a horrible devastating disease and the other is that it is a virus like many others. The difference is that herpes has a horrible social stigma. My suggestion is that you do your research and present it to your husband- here is how it is spread, here is how you can both be safe to not transfer it, etc. Talk to more than one doctor... Second, remind him that you are still the same person that he's loved for years and nothing has changed... There is a country song called "Fight like a girl" and in the end she realizes that she has cancer and she says "It's just another test God gave me..." That's all it is... its a challenge... to your strength as a person and as a wife and to your marriage. Herpes sucks... there is no doubt... but its not the end of the world. Trust me, I know how you feel, as I've been there. You are not disgusting at all and your husband will come to see that. Just give him time. And if he doesn't come to see that, then maybe you will learn something about your marriage. You can't control having herpes, but you can control your perspective... it is a challenge and one that doesn't have to dictate your life... and its a challenge you can grow from.
Again, hang in there and I hope this helps!!
thank you for your comment. it made me realize how selfish i was about the situation. i didn't realize that his feeling matter too in this situation. thank you again for opening my eyes again. God bless.