I'm 29 and I've had GH for 7 years now and have had "The Talk" with only a few people since I really shy away from dating. Anyhow, I just starting dating someone about a month ago and can't seem to bring myself to have the conversation so I'm debating on just ending the relationship instead. I've tried a few times to talk about it (thought I'd just bring up cold sores first - thought it might get the convesation started) and before I got into any details about me having GH, he freaked out and said that he would rather have cancer than a cold sore. I explained to him about how common the disease is and gave him a few facts without disclosing details of my infection. He is a really great guy but sadly misinformed (and terrified) about the disease. I would love to hear any advice that anyone has on this. I really don't have anyone to talk to about this as I pretty much keep this part of my life a secret.
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Needing suggestions on "The Talk"
I know the exact feeling you are having about tell that other person. I started dating a really great guy and I was so afraid to tell him that when I finally did tell him I broke down into tears. I'm only 19 and I just found out a month ago that I contracted gh from my ex, and that was the hardest thing ever to hear. My advice to you is is that if you really like this person and you think that it will work then just have a sit down with this person of interest and have some info about gh on hand. If this person really likes you then they will understand after they hear ALL the facts about gh. It's not life threatening and if this person cares for you then they will be ok with it and help you through it. If they don't take it well then that just means that they aren't the one for you, because you need to find someone who wants you for you even with the knowledge that you have gh. That's the only advice that I know to give to you hun. I really hope this helps and I wish you all the luck in the world!
If he is that misinformed about herpes in general and to him it is a dirty word... Basically , I would tell him at some point when the moment is right, but in order to protect my feelings I would just say that since he said a comment such as " I rather have cancer instead of herpes" you understood that there is a good possibility he won't accept you" and if that is the case, then you would want to brake up with him before your feelings get hurt and before you feel like a modern day leper. He can learn about it, research it, but if he can't accept that there is a challenge which could be taken care of and overcome through safe sex practices, then you want to be able to leave with your dignity. I guess, I am pretty honest and I am not going to allow others to make me feel ashamed because I have this. I just want you to be prepared just in case. I want you to have your dignity and self esteem intact if that were in question. Also, point out that you care about him enough to give him the respect to make that choice. With that you re not saying he will get gh if he is with you, but you are still a decent human being to not come forth.
WOW! We have some things in common! I'm at the same point in life trying to open up. I'm like you, that's the only thing I keep to myself and don't want to be like that. It takes away from the relationship, truely! I would love to chat sometimes. If you find the answer your looking for please past it off to me. But, it already sounds like you told him, he's just in denial about and scared! It didn't take much to figure out what you been telling him if your coming at him that way. I wish you the best and please get back at me!
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hi, ive had gh for 23 yrs . i had several looks from alot of girls i went out with ,none good when i told them about my gh but its better not to hurt him worse by giving him gh without him knowing the risks dont you think ? belive me i know , if the relationship means anything to him & he loves you he'll be understanding. if not well it wasn't meant to be . but at least you will know you didnt give it to him . good luc to you !