this post was helpful but I also have a question.
My boyfriend gave me HSV-1 genital from his coldsore. Can I give it back to him during intercourse or does he already have the antibody?
'You can't give them back a virus they already have...you can't catch hsv 1 twice...he's had it long enough to build up anitbodies so that if won't spread to any other part of his body....'
Actually this in incorrect...While it's true that you can't catch HSV1 or HSV2 "again" you can definitely infect a new area with the same virus...So if you have HSV1 on tour mouth...and you perform Oral sex on your partners genitals...you could transmit HSV1 to their genitals...giving them GHSV1...once the partner has the GHSV1 and they now have sexual intercourse with you they can transmit GHSV1 to YOUR genitals....same virus, but infection is spread to a different area.
My awnser would be yes, you could recieve and pass the virus through oral sex.
You might not pass it the first time around, but it sort of like a woman getting pregnant. You might pass it on the first time, it might be the 9th time. Are you might not pass it.
Daily suppresion will decrease chances..
regards,
M
Hi all
I've had HSV 1 on genitals since age 15. Married to one woman for 9 years. The relationships I have since then have been all ltr. 3 to 5 years.
As far as I know I've never passed it on. And yes I do still have contact with all. Usually have indications that it's about to happen and do not have sex at that time.
Luckily all have been understanding about it and I've always explaned what I have and how it could affect them.
I'm 45 y/o with 3 kids. No complications there either.
I dated one person with type 2 that I found out after the fact. That was 10 years ago and I have no sign of that present.
Dealing with this for 30 years I've found some things that help. Listerine applied with Q-tip really helps with the itching and uncomfortabiness and healing. And the latest I've tried is Diabeti-Derm. Bought that for rough cracking skin on my hands since I use them alot in my work. Hope to let you know more about how that works.
Anyway... 30 years and no complaints. And dumb me didn't use condoms and still don't due to trust prior to intercourse. But I did get fixed.. No more babies.
I have an outbreak about once every year and a half.. very mild and what i've applied gives comfort if not healing.
My 2 cents.
I have type 2 orally. I know that this is very rare and my viral shedding is less than 1%. This is a good to know but I still have a question. Can I pass it by a simple tap kiss (lip to lip)?
shedding type 2 oral is the most rare shedding out of all the forms of hsv shedding, and then for someone to catch it from a kiss is even more unlikely unless u have a blister, which is also unlikely. lol I say don't worry about it...ppl with oral hsv type 1 never say anything before they kiss someone and they're more likely to pass it kissing than someone with oral type 2.
I'd been with my former partner for almost 10 years when I suffered a genital HSV1 infection. She'd had HSV1 for 20-plus years, only had one or two outbreaks a year, and was asymptomatic when she passed it to me via oral sex. Stuff like that happens so I wasn't too bothered.
It became a problem when we split up a couple of years later. Whenever I met a woman I was interested in, I'd let her know that we'd have to be careful and only have protected sex because I had genital herpes. Without exception over the next few years, not a single woman was prepared to take the relationship forward on being told that. (Ironic, isn't it, that if I'd been dishonest I would have had a number of women who were prepared to have sex with me.)
Eventually, I did meet someone who took it in her stride and we've now been together for 10 years without her having caught genital HSV1 from me. She already had oral HSV1 so perhaps that has helped protect her but we've also been careful over the years.
The biggest issue about herpes is social and cultural conditioning.
ive had oral sex with a fellow that im falling in love with i have herpes 2 i think since its not in the mouth area my outbreaks have always been either on the leg or buttocks. ive been symptom free for two years with the help of valtrex wondering how to tell this love of mine about this and do i have to have protected sex since ive never had it vaginally
DR. Grayson: 80% of genital herpes is type 2, NOT 100% There seems to be some information you are not aware about regarding herpes. Please keep current on the research.
Hi there,
I think that Dr. Grayson meant that almost all HSV 2 infections happen in the gentials (as opposed to the mouth). Meaning that if you have type 2, it will most likely occur in the genitals and not your mouth.
I believe that you are implying that 80% of people who are infected in the gentials have HSV 2 (as opposed to HSV 1). This means that HSV 1 is more likely to occur in the genitals, more so than HSV 2 is likely to occur in the mouth.
It took me a while to draw the distiction but I think that you are both correct.
I hope this clarifies.
I have a coment to make on this what is the actual chance of getting hsv 2 in the mouth?and is the first hsv 2 outbreak easy to distinguish from an hsv 1 outbreak of the mouth?Id really like this question answered as no forum or website i have come across has succesfully answered this question yet.
thank you
Guess what folks. You probably already have it, and if you don't, you're almost certain to get it unless you stop having sex forever. This condition is just not worth all the worry. Don't worry about getting it and don't worry about giving it if you already have it. Have sex between breakouts, but other than that, no worries. If they get it, honestly, so what? Gotta think of it same as a cold sore. Is not a big deal, so stop making it one.
Well, do you KNOW you have it? An actual diagnosis from a doctor? A blood test? If so, then from what I understand you can actually face legal repercussions for not disclosing. I don't know how true this is (and if it is, it's stupid, but hey).
On the other hand, if you don't have a formal diagnosis, then you don't really 'know' either. You suspect, perhaps, but you don't know. Hell, even if you do have a formal diagnosis, no one knows that but you. Who's to say that you didn't get your very first breakout two months from now? LOL
Do you breakout often, or did you just have one and never again? Or even never have a breakout, but found out through blood testing? It would be pretty hard to feign ignorance if you're getting monthly breakouts, but if you're getting them once a year, or even less, you could just act surprised when/if it does come back one day. You could even make it a bit more convincing by lightly accusing him before 'doing research on the net and discovering that herpes can activate years after getting the virus, therefore how can we really know WHO gave it to whom?'
Things to keep in mind and you wallow in the guilt and worry that society has thrust upon you:
1) 80% have oral hsv1 and yes, it can be transmitted to the genitals.
2) 25% have genital hsv1 or 2
3) Over 50% don't ever have symptoms, many have symptoms once and not again, and a smaller percentage deal with a slight annoyance once every few months. A very small percentage have it pretty rough.
4) If you don't break out often and avoid sex during breakouts, sex with you is almost certainly lower risk for getting it (which is only an annoyance for some anyway) than by having sex with someone who has never been tested
5) Most importantly, unless your his first and last, you are NOT making a significant difference in his risk of exposure to the virus. In the next few girls he dates, whom have probably had sex with multiple partners and never been tested (25%+ of having it?), will almost guarantee he is exposed to the virus at one point or another by someone. If you include oral hsv1 as a risk, then everyone who ever receives oral sex is taking an 80% chance of being exposed. Whether this is you or the next girl, does it really make a difference?
6) Is it worth telling others and taking all the heat just because you happen to know you have it for the 80% who never got tested? Really?
Only you can decide what to do, but as I said, if you feel that it's a 'big enough' thing to set aside a special little "talk" for, don't blame him for thinking it's a 'big enough' thing to run away from.
Everyone who thinks of this thing as something you need to "have a talk about" is perpetuating the stigma. Only when people can mention having it as casually as a cold sore will the stigma go away.
I found out at the age of 25 when I was pregnant with my first son. I had a rash on my thigh and that was the diagnosis back then was b12 shots I am 54 now. I havent had anything for almost 15yrs later and again on my buttock and thigh ive never had it in the vaginal area. two yrs ago i got tested again and was put on a valtrex treatment which ive not had an outbreak since. I am dating a fellow who ive been talking on the internet to for 3 months but just have met two wks ago. we have not had anything but oral sex once and in a couple of weeks i know it will be more. our schedules are not allowing us to see each other often for right now. Im toying with the idea to casually bring up the subject but im not ready to end this new relationship if he wants to because of this. he was never married and in a 4 yr relationship that ended a year ago so he says. I have been divorced for 7yrs and really never thought about telling anyone about this until two yrs ago. i havent mentioned it to anyone. i feel guilty about that but have not felt anything toward these men like i do the most recent. i just dont want to have to tell him a yr into our relationship but i could act like it just happened like you said and believe all of your suggestions has crossed my mind also. am i being deceitful? I dont really know if this fellow has any secrets himself either soooo ..... i just hate carrying a secret around because im an easy spirit happy go lucky and this subject ruins my happiness, my zest that im noted for and my honesty and integrity that i have other then this subject.
I know that I have it but after my one outbreak from when I first contracted it. Its like its not even there. I totally agree that everyone is making it horrible when really, its the common cold for your downstairs area. Its not that big of a deal, and went away after 3 days. Didn't even hurt that much. It doesnt need to be discussed with everyone or talked about like its the end of the world or the plague. IT WON'T EVEN KILL YOU! The guy who gave it to me, I forgave the next day (he didn't even know he had it). everyone I have told either forgot about it or didn't care. The guy I love doesnt know and I'll make him wear a condom everytime, but if I dont have an outbreak, I'm not going to make it a big deal and have a talk with him. I wont have sex with him when I have sores, and of course I'll be careful but ur right everyone needs to stop buying in to the stigma. Could be worse, could have aids, gonherea, clamidia, HIV, Crabs. But herpes is just a few bumbs or a coldsore on the mouth. Innocent compared to the evil out there.
On a purely moral basis what you have done is WRONG. Even waiting till he has developed feelings for you before telling him is wrong, selfish and self centered (that is hoping that his feelings will hold him and you will not loose him, more difficult for him to be totaly objective).
In some jurisdictions knowingly exposing someone to a STD vcan result in criminal prosecution for assualt among other things. If they actually get it with you knowing well its even a bigger legal issue.
In most jurisdictions civil action can be brought just for knowingly exposing someone without telling them before. If they actually get it with you knowing well its even a bigger legal issue.
Why would you be so selfish as to do this to someone you say you have feelings for? I can appreciate that you worry if you tell first they will bolt but if you tell after exposing them they are likely to stay (easier to ask forgivness than ask permission). I am not a liscensced menatal health professional but it seems that behaviour sounds like that of a sociopath.
I know it's probably too late for this, but I think people should be upfront and honest to everyone to let them make the decision about whether or not they want to expose themselves. I got herpes from someone who didn't tell me. It has effected my health and immune system and self esteem. I don't think I have forgiven him for that, still. On one hand I don't think genital herpes is a big thing in the scheme of things, but it is not for me to say that and make the decision for someone else and expose them. Most people I have been with since getting herpes have understood. A few have made me feel self conscious about it, always worrying. But I understand their concern. The thing is it's really important to let the other person in on that information even if there is a possibility of rejection. It's only the fair and right thing to do. Most often than not the other person will still want to be with you, but it's their decision.
Its fair to say that there is a great stigma about it, but not talking about things doesn't make it better it makes it worse, MUCH WORSE!!!
Its some person like you who didn't think it was big enough to talk about even though they KNEW they had it that I now have the virus for a lifetime!! So Thanks for acting completely ignorant and having no concern for your partners right to be involved in the decision to be exposed or not, or to be involved in what precautions need to be taken!!
People need to be able to deside for themselves what risks to take or to not take when the information is available. How about try thinking about basic respect for another human being, especially someone you are thinking of being intimate from, maybe you only have partners for a short time and then pass to the next so you don't care about LYING about it, but the reprocussions of keeping information and just Playing dumb can be much more drastic... especially if it is a person that you actually give a F*C! about.
It is totally wrong to expose someone to this viris knowingly without their consent. Just because it isn't a big deal to you does't mean that they will be as lucky as you are. I was really hurt to find out that I have HSV2, but way more hurt when I found out that I'd gotten it from somebody who knowingly put me at risk and lied to me even after I'd asked him point blank before we got physical. If he had been honest I might have still slept with him, but I would have been much more careful. Now I hate the guy and will never trust him again. I since have told two other people and both have still wanted to sleep with me, albiet with precautions. Just using a condom and abstaining durring outbreaks is not very good pretection. There is no substitute for honesty and respect and compassion. Use your concience and tell your partners. Maybe theyll follow your lead and tell you something you would really rather know too.
I wish it weren't a big deal, and maybe it's not for you. But for me, I deal with it 24/7. The diabolical virus has absolutely changed my life in every way imaginable. I had to go to 7 different doctors and deal with test after test, and biopsies, because my symptoms were not classic. I'm one of the unlucky ones that feels prodromal symptoms every minute of the day. Tingling, burning, itching, prickly sensations, creepy-crawly bug sensations, swelling, discharge, but never blisters. And never a break from it. Some days I have to lay in bed with a cold compress just so I can get up and walk. I've gained 20 lbs because I can't exercise anymore, not even brisk walks! I've had this 18 months, and I don't know how I'm going to live the rest of my life. I can't have sex anymore, nor do I want to, as the area of greatest pleasure has become a source of chronic discomfort. I know, I'm the worst case scenario, but if it happened to me, it can happen to someone else. I wish someone would find a flippin cure for this damnable virus. And it's HSV-1, not 2. At least that's what the blood test showed, and all other STDs were negative. Maybe it's a new strain, or a new STD altogether, God knows it sure feels like I have all of them combined.
I sure hope the doctor just can't type. If she can't spell, I wonder about how intelligent she really is and how factual the information is.
Then again, she has an advice column. She should be held to a higher standard than a job application at Taco Bell.
If nobody else fact checks her, then how good is this site?
I was thinking the EXACT same thing. The forum lacks credibility when the doctor a) has multiple grammatical errors, and b) doesn't fully answer the original question. It's a shame that people like this make it through medical school.
No wonder the general public is undereducated about STI's - those who teach us don't seem to have the ability to communicate properly.
I dont know what to think about this whole herpes crazyness. I've had for ten years but I guessed my doctor sucked, because he never told me about how contagious it was, and honestly i did not know untill now, but i want to say that for 10 years I shared bar soap, sponges with my two daughters and they never got it, they say not to touch anything if you have a breakout, or it will spread, guess what? when I have a breakout, theres no butler coming to wash my cokie, and my hands are down there and back in my face and i NEVER got anyplace else.
I am a femaile with HSV2 genital asymptomatic and on Famvar twice daily and never had an outbreak. I was wanting to know if he preforms oraly to me will he contract it or in the other hand if i preform oraly on him will be contract it?
Your second question was asked within the original post for this forum. Again, too bad the doctor didn't completely answer the question the first time.
"Yo, Doc... say I have genital HSV (1 or 2)... if I perform oral sex on someone, could they develop genital herpes?... In other words, can the virus be present within another mucous membrane such as the mouth?"
dirty nasty people keep your damm clothes on
That is a pointless comment as it can happen in a perfectly loving long term relationship. One example, if you have a cold sore or your partner has a cold sore and you want to please the other orally then it can be transmitted causing genital herpes. I know this is only one example and a simple explanation at that, but sometimes people need it put simply.
From everything I've read and heard it seems unlikely that a person giving oral sex to a person with HSV-2 will get HSV-2 if they avoid oral sex before, during or after an outbreak. Condoms reduce this likelyhood further, but the odds seem to be in the 2-5% range once regular outbearks have stopped, even without condoms. Is that true?
Why isn't there an at home swab test to see if any virus is shedding? KNowing would sure help.
I have both Hsv 1 and hsv 2. I don't understand what the biggest risks are for my partner. I don't understand how I can have both...does that mean I'm going to have herpes in my mouth and on my face? I've had one outbreak since i found out 4 years ago. If my boyfriend gives me oral sex, he is risking getting oral herpes? I'm pretty much fucked in having any kind of relationship...and why doesn't my doctor seem to know anything...everything i read online is different, doesn't anyone really know what's going on with this virus? AHAHAHAHHHH i'm so angry with life and so confused. please, any place i can find accurate information or if there is a herpes hotline to call and talk with someone...
I believe I have both 1 and 2 also... although there are some issues still going on with my testing. I'm very frustrated also because my healthcare provider acted very unprofessional to me when she told me my test results. I'm now looking for a new one at a very difficult time.
I don't know why no one knows WTF is the deal with this virus. I only get cold sores and have for almost 9 years. That's it... but my healthcare provider says I probably have genital HSV-2 also. Even though I've not had any lesions there.
Hang in there... I think in time you'll know exactly what you can and can't do to protect your partner.
I HAVE BEEN TALKING TO A OLD HIGH SCHOOL SWEET HEART ON THE PHONE FOR THE PAST TWO MONTHS WELL SATURDAY I WENT TO MY HOME TOWN AND WENT BY HER HOUSE WELL WE STARTED WATCHING A MOVIE AND ONE THING LEAD TO ANOTHER NEXT THING YOU KNOW WE WERE KISSING AND TOUCHING EACH OTHER ALL OVER ME IN HER PRIVATE AREA AND HER GIVING ME A HAND JOB THEN I DECIDE TO STOP AND SHE SAID TO ME U RIGHT WE NEED TO TALK THEN SHE TOLD ME SHE HAD GENITAL HERPES BUT SHE HAVEN\'T HAD A OUTBREAK IN A YEAR BUT THE NEXT DAY I NOTICE A BUMP ON MY HAND AND NOW I AM CONCERN AND WORRIED SE CLAIMED THAT THERE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT BECAUSE WE DIDN\'T HAVE SEX NOR ORAL SEX BUT I AM. MY QUESTION IS SIMPLE HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO SEE SIGN OF DID AN AM I OVER ACTING
I HAVE BEEN TALKING TO A OLD HIGH SCHOOL SWEET HEART ON THE PHONE FOR THE PAST TWO MONTHS WELL SATURDAY I WENT TO MY HOME TOWN AND WENT BY HER HOUSE WELL WE STARTED WATCHING A MOVIE AND ONE THING LEAD TO ANOTHER NEXT THING YOU KNOW WE WERE KISSING AND TOUCHING EACH OTHER ALL OVER ME IN HER PRIVATE AREA AND HER GIVING ME A HAND JOB THEN I DECIDE TO STOP AND SHE SAID TO ME U RIGHT WE NEED TO TALK THEN SHE TOLD ME SHE HAD GENITAL HERPES BUT SHE HAVEN\'T HAD A OUTBREAK IN A YEAR BUT THE NEXT DAY I NOTICE A BUMP ON MY HAND AND NOW I AM CONCERN AND WORRIED SE CLAIMED THAT THERE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT BECAUSE WE DIDN\'T HAVE SEX NOR ORAL SEX BUT I AM. MY QUESTION IS SIMPLE HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO SEE SIGN OF DID AN AM I OVER ACTING
Dating in itself is hard, especially when you are dating with Herpes. However, Herpes dating sites provide the best place for singles with Herpes to date without possible rejection and discrimination. Hsoulmate.co m which is ranked as the #1 Herpes singles dating site by CNN, now has more than 560,000 members. It’s hard to believe that a Herpes dating site can have so many members!
Hi ..great article! I found this information as well on HPV warts (genital warts) , sexually transmitted diseases, cervical and throat cancers related to these genital warts (HPV) Good read at www.aboutcervicalcancer.com
I never told my partner about my herpes. She still never contracted anything, even after us having sex every day for 8 months.
I'm pretty sure it's because I've been on a special anti-herpes regimen for a year now, outlined by Dr. Chris Richardson at CureHerpesForever.com. Ever since I've started running his regimen, I haven't has a single oral or genital herpes outbreak. And apparently, I'm not contagious either.
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Genital Herpes Prevention Video 
Your info was very helpful but I still have a question for my own case. I have genital herpes type 2,whereas my boyfriend has nothing. So, I do know about the intercourse part but I am curious to learn what happens if he performs oral sex on me?and what happens if I perform oral sex on him?
Finally, I have started using valtrex daily for more protection-Does the pill become effective as a supressive medication in the first place so that gives us some sort of relief to continue our sex life?(along with condom)
I'm looking for the answer to the same question. I have type 2 and wonder about receiving oral sex. I also wonder if there is any risk in transmitting anything to someone if I give oral sex. It's confusing when both types can show up in the other places.
I'm looking for the answer to the same question. I have type 2 and wonder about receiving oral sex. I also wonder if there is any risk in transmitting anything to someone if I give oral sex. It's confusing when both types can show up in the other places.
Please go to the web site below to get the facts/truth about this very common but often feared virus.
www.herpes.org.uk
Click here
As I know from Q & A list of HFriends.net, he can get HSV2 from you if he performs oral on you, but I do not know what will happen if you perform oral on him. I may ask the counselor at that site and get back to you if you want me to ask.