Sunday, March 27, 2011
Within the last year and a half I have cut three times. The first time was four scrapes on my wrist with a push pin, that left scars that I was ashamed of. Then, I used a kitchen knife on my hip and, that hurt, but I made a few. Just literally 5 minutes ago, I used a razor blade from my shaving razor, and cut a lot into my hip. I liked it and I'm afriad. My mom knows but I am in college for Human Services with a Minor in Psychology. I want to be a guidance counselor. I know exactly why a therapist says what they do, in the exact tone, at the exact time. I cant go to another therapist because of this. I feel like I am going crazy. Please help me.
Dear merely me now,
I don't know much about "cutting". Therefore I cannot advise you. But I can and do support you.
I understand somewhat your feeling that you are in college in a program that is meant to help others.
I belong to a church. I am an addict. My thinking is that addicts do not belong to churches. That is farther from the truth that it can get. Everytime I "fall off the wagon" I think I am unworthy to be part of the church. Or how can God love me when I "give in " to the addiction urges and be part of God's church. But ya know God loves me (and you) and accepts our shortcomings. I won't preach too much.
My point is that we all fall, we have to get back up, we do get up. I know you can overcome this.
I hope I helped.
Take care.
David