sharing a thought, looking for hope

Hi all,

I'm sorry I'm back again because I don't know how to let go of this anger. In retrospect, life was so easy and 'perfect' 2 months ago, and now...I feel trapped in a life of uncalledfor punishment. I'm angry at myself, angry at my boyfriend, and angry at the world. I still don't know how to let go of all this anger. I used to be a very happy person with all the dreams and ambitions in the world and now, I feel like I don't know how the be happy anymore. I try by being out with friends and family, but discovered last night at a social function that I have zero tollerance for fakeness, and just became very uncomfortable. I don't know what is wrong with me; it's like the thought that "life is too short to put up with BS" is constantly going through my mind and I am withdrawing from everything. I told my best friend over the holidays about my situation and he told me that I have nothing to worry about and that the disease isn't that much of a big deal. Many times I have told myself the same thing, and then a week or 2 later I am back in this state of mild depression and/or anxiety. I finally believe that nobody said life would be fair and this is just another milestone that I'll need to learn to live with. I think I should know how to by now. Herpes is still constantly on my mind. I'm in a job I hate but the health insurance is extremely good so I don't want to quit. My boyfriend is extremely unsupportive but as dumb as this probably sounds, I'm terrified to be alone.

Anyone still reading this rant, first of all thank you for taking the time to read this. Secondly, if you have managed to get through to a better stage of acceptance than me, how did you get there? is it all just a matter of time? I feel like I'm stupid or overreacting, but evenso, it doesn't make the emotional pain go away.

Thanks again for your time.