thinking

i feel the same way, i just found out i have genital herpes this past thursday....i find myself wishing i could go back in time and just say no to that one encounter that has changed everything, im sorry i cant afford anymore support. im still trying to accept this thing myself but i hope everything goes well for you and i know it'll get better as the days go by.

Honestly I'm trying to figure out the same thing and have been for the past 10 months.. Wow 10 months have gone by already, unfortunately I'm not the same person I was just over 10 months ago, or at least it doesn't seem like it. I hate that I'm responding back to you without a positive outlook but I'm as lost as you are. Day in and day out I hide my disease (hsv2); I have yet to tell a sole other then my doctor. Im turning 23 years old this week and I feel like will be alone indefinitely. I meet nice/new people all of the time and I just make myself unavailable because thats how I feel. How will I ever allow myself to be in a situation where someday I will have to share this terrible secret I'm keeping?? Everytime I picture it all I can think about is myself in someone elses shoes, disease free shoes. REJECTION, how can I deal with it? How do I know when I can tell someone? Now I know this is a non life threatening disease but in my mind I always go back to how easy it was before I had hsv2... Man hindsight is 20/20...I'm an absolute idiot for trusting the person I trusted but I was alone then and I'm even more alone now. This disease is really getting me down, I'm constantly depressed and I know people can see that (even though I try pretty hard not to show it). I'm lost and I'm tired of feeling this way, I don't know what to do. The only positive thing I can say to you is your not the only one out there thats going through this bs. I guess it would help if maybe I didn't get an outbreak every 1.5 months, 6-7 total in 10 months. Oh and even taking medication the outbreak will effect my body for 2 weeks. Reading other posts is the only thing that makes me feel a little better. I think maybe I need to medicate daily and possibly find a better doctor. The thought of taking medication daily kills me... hiding prescription bottles... I wish you the best of luck and I sure hope we figure ourselves out and learn to live with this wonderfull gift.