weird situation...please help!

I got herpes about 9 months ago from a guy that lied to me about not having it. It took me months to accept the fact that I have it, and to dump him because he treated me like crap. It's been a long road of recovering and acceptance of myself, but this has left me quite bitter towards other people. I finally know who I am and feel comfortable with myself, however I have been avoiding relationships because Im scared to death of telling the next guy about my condition. (i had one bad experience with a rekindling of a past relationship - flat out rejected; clearly that ex just wanted a "good time" - I felt the need to be honest so had my first scary reaction to the fact that I have herpes; now he wont talk to me).

Back to the present...well...my first love (whom I have stayed friends with for the last 4 years) confessed that he still loves me and wants to be with me again (I broke up with him and have always wondered if I made a mistake). I'm strongly considering it, but fear the possible rejection when I tell him I have herpes. Not only is this hanging in my mind, but given my past I have huge trust issues. How am I supposed to believe someone when they tell me they dont have any STDs when I was already lied to about this? Is it fair to ask for the tests? I don't know what is considered normal with this respect, but I have never had reason to not believe a longterm partner before (until now of course). I'm terrified of being lied to again and potentially getting another std. Trust me I am not being hypocritical...I wouldnt reject someone because they have an std; I just expect the same respect that I have for them in disclosing it before it became an issue. Evidently we'd already have to take precautions (assuming he'd accept me for who I am) but nonetheless I'd like to be sure about him too. However, just because I believe it's the only way to be, doesnt make it true. Maybe this just means that Im not ready to date...but I dont think this issue will ever be out of my mind. Experiencing one type of pain is enough for me...

Any thoughts as to how to go about this? What is considered legit/ not overkill? Am I crazy to not trust again and want the guy's tests in my hand? [all feedback is welcome; I am pretty lost on this issue and really need a clue!] thanks