Well i met my now husband when i was 16...we started dating when i was 17 and we first had sex when i was 17...he was my first(and still only)...before we had sex...i asked all the questions about when he was tested and if he was clean...he was in the military so i did believe he had been tested and i believed him when he said he was clean...when i was 19 we got married before he left for iraq...when he came home on leave he told me he had herpes...he was having an outbreak and had to tell me the truth to why we wouldn't be having sex...i was heartbroken...all i could think was do i have it...this isn't fair...i have only been with him so i shouldn't have an std...i felt so dirty and betrayed...i never though he could hurt me like that...i felt like it was my fault since i said we don't need to use protection since i was on BC...we are working on our marriage and it is hard because he is back in iraq...i have gone to my ob/gyn to be tested and im waiting on my results...please pray for me and my family...and always use protection.
Blood tests dont always show that someone has herpes, and this is usually the case. Swabs are usually required. He may have not know he had the virus and it may have been in his system for years. He may have not known he had it. Dont be rough on yourself. Its not like its not controllable. So you cant have sex everytime you want it. thats what relationships are for - giving, taking and understanding.
he did know that he had herpes...he got it in 2004 and had an outbreak about 2 weeks later...i met him in 2005...so he knew and he didn't tell me...and i got my results back today...i did blood and swab...negative for all std's..thank goodness..so now we can start on our relationship...but thank you for your comment and i will take it easier on me:)
I'm happy for you unfortunally my story isnt as happy. When i was 16 i had sex twice with a guy named billy. and then me and my now fiance got together. he works ten hour days so i got bored. so i invited two friends over and we all had sex. I felt so ashamed that i told my man what happenned he forgave me. Then i felt itching, the odor, the burning and the bleeding, i went to the doctor thinking i just had honeymoonidus which is what young couples get from having to much sex and you get raw. But my doctor said "Nicole you have genital herpes" I called my man and told him he called me back and said he had sores on him too. I got medication for it but my fiance has no medical insurance so he cant afford the medicine. all in all i messed up and gave my man genital herpes and the sick part is i have only had sex with four people and i dont know who i got it from. The good thing is me and my man are sticking together becuase we know no matter what we will always have genital herpes and we might as well have it together theres no reason to break up becuase it wont make the genital herpes go away. You need to be with people you love. And girl watch out i researched it since i have it even if your husband isnt having an outbreak you can still get it.
When he comes back he should be on the suppressive 1 gram a day valtrex to protect you. Remember, even if he doesn't have open sores , he could have asympthomatic viral shedding and still give you the virus if he doesn't have a sore. He could still be shedding the virus unless it is supressed with valtrex 1 gram. He needs to talk to a urologist and you should be involved in the process as it is your health for life on the line. Also, you should buy antiviral gel ( read christopher scipio's book , he has a good gel he makes). I read it and thought it was very good. Also, use condoms at all times. Talk to your own gyn about how to protect yourself. Herpes sympthoms in women are much worse than in men. I happen to have acquired genital herpes and found out 3 months ago. I developed nerve damaged in my genitalia, which is constant pain after the sore is long heal. It could be a chronic neurological condition and it needs to be treated with anticonvulsants. Also, herpes outbrakes can lead to yeast infections too and you just don't know where the itch is coming from. I can't emphisize enough to you how to protect yourself. Also, remember that it can also be transmitted through oral sex via a herpes or cold sore in his mouth towards you. In case that's also happening. God Bless u and may God continue to take care of you and embrace you everyday. Don't be afraid or scared to discuss these things with your husband. He should be the first person to want to protect you. I am sure if the tables were turned you would do everything in your power to protect him.