Telling the one you love

hey, i read your story and i am in the same situation. dating a guy for the past 2months and I just can't tell him I have herpes. have you had an outbreak while being with him? i assume you guys don't use protection,right? I never passed the herpes to anybody before but with this guy I only use protection. I just can't tell him, I know he will just leave me. and it's unfair because I got the herpses from a guy that wanted to marry me it wasn't a one night stand- but now people can judge us unfairly.

so good luck if you tell your boyfriend I am sure that if he loves you he would understand but if you are at the beginning he might get scared and run away. how offten do you have outbreaks? if you don't have outbreaks at all I personally think chances are very low to pass the herpes to him. until now I haven't heard anybody saying I got herpses from oral sex or i passes the herpes to my partner while not having an outbreak.

thanks for your reply.. nice to know im not the only one going throught this. yes we do have unpertected sex and believe me every time we do it kills me inside because i have this deep dark secret. No i havent had a out break since i was diagnosed thank god. and he hasnt caught it atleast to my knowledge he hasnt. we have such a wonderful relationship and we and its true love but i just cant find a way to tell him..... who would want to stay with a girl who has herpes when theres plenty more fish in the sea without this crazy shit. every since the day i was told there hasnt been a day that goes by that i dont think about. it builds up so much inside that i just burst into tears. im so tired of having this HUGE burden on my chest. i feel incontrol of my own life now.

I had unprotected sex with the previous boyfriends without even knowing I can pass the infection to them. None got it. lucky them and me. I thought herpes is like a cold sore. Had no idea how serious this is. I know it kills you inside. Just try to not have any contact while having an outbreak. I really don't know how some get the herpes and some no. And take antiviral treatments( i am since april, every day 4 tablets of aciclovir) . If you choose  not to tell him it's your choice, I am in the same situation even though Honestly I still hate my ex boyfriend for not telling me he had herpses, for not being open to me. I would have choosen not to leave him but to have protected sex and be careful. He is the only one I hate and I'll always do. He made my life a nightmare. When I got it  I was with him and he just said: wow, I didn't have an outbreak in years. He didn't expalin to me what herpses was, or anything else. And now, after 7 years-IRONY-  I feel like I'll do exactly  what he did to me to somebody else. I'll be probably like, you didn't get it from me. I have no idea what you are talking about. not because I don't care, because I AM SO AFRAID, AFRAID of rejection. I am wondering how many have the herpes and do like us, not telling the partener???!!! at least I am honest here, some would judge me but well, it's there choice. whenever you feel alone email me. and good luck, if you find the real solution how to keep a guy when you have herpes PLEASE SHARE IT WITH ME

it so helpful knowing that u have the same problems. i dont really regret being with the guy that gave me herpes but i do hate him for not telling me. i live by this one quote " dont regret something that once made u happy". Ya i kinda feel like a hypocrit because i havent told my B/F but same as you im so afraid of rejection.  theres other people out there but id have to go through the same guilt and explanation with another guy sooner or later.  i have to tell him soon, because our relationship is getting so serious to the point where he has invited me to meet his parents in another state. Hopefully up to this point we have built a realtionship around love and i hope and pray that because i have herpes, it wont make him look at me any different. Yes its a scary thing because people arent educated about this. Remember sex ed classes in middle school, they dont teach you about herpes, its only getting pregnant and STD's that you can get rid of. but i need to get this burden of my chest b4 i go crazy. ill definetly let u know the out come, and maybe it could help u out as well. thanks alot for the support and just being here for me to vent. it helps soooo much. ttyl