How do you move on? (kind of long, but please read)

I was diagnosed in Jan. with genital herpes. I'm a 25 year old female. I had never really been active in the dating department, and was up until last August, a virgin. I have had sex a total of 4 times. These past couple of months have been horrible. My sexual history: The first time I had sex was in August 08 with a friend who I knew in college; we used a condom and it occurred on one occasion. In September, I had my first boyfriend, which was a friend from high school. I did not have sex with him, but did have oral sex on one occasion (receiving) with him. I soon ended the relationship due to some other factors after approximately a month. Yet ever since I had oral sex with him, my vagina has not been the same. I have had nothing but problems. I was treated for a bacterial and yeast infection soon after, and after taking antibiotics, I developed yeast on my tongue, which I have still not been fully free of. In November, I began reconnecting with someone that I had known for some years, and soon began a relationship with him. In January, I had sex for the 2^nd time, altogether, with him. We had sex a total of 3 times, and all protected using a condom. Each time, I had pain with sex, and after the last time, due to the friction from not enough lubrication, I had my first outbreak. I do not believe that I contracted it from him because we never had oral sex or penetration without a condom, and he would get tested regularly because he is in the military.

Anyway, I went to the doctor 3 days after having sex with him, because of the pain, which I thought was just friction, was excruciating. When the doctor said I sores, and that he was going to do a herpes culture, my heart sank into my stomach. I couldn't believe it. After waiting a whole agonizing week, which I spent with the guy I was dating, and let him know what was going on, I found out I had the disease. I have gone through every emotion ever since. That one week, I contemplated suicide, I didn't really eat, and I cried every night.  Right now, I just feel like a rollercoaster; sometimes, I'm okay, other times, I can't stop crying or I have tremendous anger-at myself and at the guy that I'm sure I contracted this disease from.

At first, my ex-boyfriend seemed to be understanding; he had said that he wasn't going anywhere, but up until this past Valentine's Day we were together. After my diagnosis, I was really afraid to have him touch me or even kiss me because I was scared of passing it on to him. I think he just realized that he couldn't handle it, and the last time I talked to him, I had this feeling that he just didn't like me, and that he had begun to see someone else...So, another one bites the dust.

 I think about it everyday, when I look in the mirror, when I bathe, when I feel any sensations. I keep thinking, "who is EVER going to love me? I will NEVER be in a real relationship. I will NEVER get married, have a baby..." I'm just trying to gear myself to accept that fact. Most of the time, I just feel like saying, "F*** it" because it's like who will ever want to be with me? I can't imagine trying to tell every guy that I potentially have a relationship with that I have an incurable STD, and seeing their revolted, shocked reaction, in addition to them never talking to me again. I can't imagine not being able to have sex comfortably again, without worrying of transmitting the disease or having an outbreak. I try imagining myself in the situation of having my boyfriend tell me he has herpes; I don't think I could handle it either...so how I can expect someone else to? I never imagined this could happen to me. You never expect things like this to happen to you, not until it happens, and you realize the gravity of it.