how could this happen

Your mom gave you the best advice possible. Dump the "dog". He lied to you.

I read the other comment to listen to your mom... at my age, I would suggest the same thing.  However, he may not have know he had them if he had not had an outbreak.  But... it's very unlikely.  Use this site to read up on the virus and how it is gotten, stored and how it is minimized.  The FACT is one of you HAD to have the virus to being with which means someone had unprotected sex with someone ELSE at some point.  Men are not know for their great virtue of honesty and lying about it is the easiest way to not cause waves... but once you find out all the facts about the disease, you will see that if YOU DIDN'T have another partner, then he obviously DID.  It is also possible that he had a previous encounter a while ago before meeting you, got the disease, had a minimal outbreak and didn't "know" what is was (altho extremely painful and wouldn't be forgotten) and then was NOT currently in an outbreak and spread it to you.  Don't let him try to tell you he got if from from a toilet seat!! absolutely not true.  There are two types: HSV-2 (genital) and HSV-1 (oral - fever blisters) are essentially the same virus, but are stored in different locations (ear nerves vs spinal nerves).  Tests can be run (either blood or a sample of the secretion from the blister) that will tell you exactly which virus... but honey, if you got it and you haven't been with anyone else.... then he gave it to you!!  Don't let him get away with the lie.

Hello,

I read your post and the comments and I must say that both commenter's are right and so is your mom. Educate yourself about the disease, take care of yourself first and foremost. But also, remember that this had to have been given to you from some type of sexual contact; be it from oral sex or traditional sex. Honesty, as sad as this statement is, can not be taken for granted. Even if he said that he is "clean" - if he didnt specifically ask to be tested for herpes (doctors don't test for it during the regular std tests) then he might have it and not know. Also, as Anonymouos pointed out, he could have had it and just not have told you. I'm telling you this not to scare you or insist that your man is a jerk liar. I'm telling you this because I went through hell with a jerk boyfriend for 10 months who claimed all the stuff you said and then in the end of the relationship said everything was a big lie.

In the event that any of what I'm warning you about might be true in your case, please remember that you don't need to put up with it. Someone will love you for who you are and nobody deserves to be lied to, especially from someone you are supposed to trust 100%. I hope you find the answers you are looking for.

I am 35 and just found out I had genital herpes. I have never had an outbreak that I am aware of and I have had STD testing very regularly throughout my lifetime. I called every place (5) that I had been tested in the past 6 years and discovered that not once was I tested for Herpes. I had assumed all along that a Herpes test was part of routine STD screening. All of this to say that maybe your bf had STD testing done and assumed, as did I, that he had been tested for Herpes also. That is not to say that I don't agree with people saying that men do lie, that is true and in my experience especially when it comes to anything involved with sex. But maybe he really didn't know. Good luck!