How can you tell when a viral shedder has an outbreak?

My Partner and I have herpes, I have had an outbreak, but I didnt know i had it until i had minor surgery in that area after that all of these painful lesions popped up out of nowhere and i was have terrible pain in that area. I found out that i had herpes and my partner found out as well i had to take medication to treat it and the lesions disappeared. My partner on the other hand has never had any type of syptom of herpes but he is positive what may be the causes of that and how can you tell when a "Viral Shedder" is having an outbreak? Also, i'm well healed but when i have sex it feels as though i'm having sex for the first time waht may be the causes of that and is it okay for us to have unprotected sex without having an outbreak and be okay???????????

-Please answer this question with 100% accurate  information, i dont want to be misguided! 18 YO Female