I was just told I have herpes and I'm only 21 years old, how do I deal?
Yesterday I went to the gyno for itching and small bumps on my vulva. I had noticed the itching about 4-5 days ago, but did not look at the area until a day before my doctor visit. I kept thinking that I shaved the area and cut it and I had slight inflammation, I never suspected herpes. My doctor said it looked like herpes and today I went for a blood test to see what type I have. I'm only 21 years old and in the prime of my life but I feel like everything has changed now. I know I made a stupid decision to not be safe, but I'm praying hard that by some miracle it isn't herpes (which I'm 99.9% sure it is).
Do you think there's anyway I don't have it and it's some curable std that will go away?
Will I ever be able to have sex without protection again?
Can I ever give or recieve oral sex again?
What about manual sex? Will anyone be able to perform it on me again?
How will I tell future potential boyfriends?
How can I have children in the future without risking my husbands safety (if I am fortunate enough to find a husband okay with this infection).
I'm so young and I feel like I'll never be able to enjoy my twenties in a carefree yet safe way anyore. I'm so jealous of my friends, I took sexual safety for granted. Please help, I'm so scared. I feel like my life is over before it's even beginning. I keep crying and it's hard for me to return to my normal life.
wow. i can't believe how much you sound like i did a year ago. i'm 21 now and this time last year i lost my virginity on the last night of a summer fling during a summer abroad. the week i came back home i found out the guy had given me herpes. he'd never had symptoms before and we used a condom.i was so humiliated and it took at least a couple months to come to terms with it. i had all the same concerns. i was terrified of dating. i was thinking as far ahead as getting pregnant years from now and would anyone be willing to have unprotected sex with me then? literally the day the test results came back i joined positivesingles.com, convinced that a site like that was the only way i could have a relationship.
but amazingly enough, the first guy i dated since getting diagnosed was a friend from college and he was totally fine with it. within just a week of dating he was already asking to have sex (i said we should wait a couple more weeks and we did, but i just remember being so surprised that he didn't need to be in love with me to want to have sex). anyway, i think it depends on the guy. i'm still in a relationship with this guy (9 months now) and we probably stopped using condoms just a month or so into the relationship (his choice) and we've never used protection for oral sex. i'm also on daily valtrex which he didn't ask me to go on but i felt i should for his sake. and he hasn't caught herpes.
just know that 1/4 of women have this and at least you know it so you can protect your partner. and at first i was resentful that most of the people that have it don't know they have it, the whole ignorance-is-bliss feeling. but then the thing is for women it can be really dangerous, i.e. if they have an outbreak while pregnant and don't know it, it could be fatal to the baby. and just remember if a guy really cares about your relationship, he won't be phased by it.
- Thank you for your input
- Ranked Helpful (3)
- Report Abuse
wow. i can't believe how much you sound like i did a year ago. i'm 21 now and this time last year i lost my virginity on the last night of a summer fling during a summer abroad. the week i came back home i found out the guy had given me herpes. he'd never had symptoms before and we used a condom.i was so humiliated and it took at least a couple months to come to terms with it. i had all the same concerns. i was terrified of dating. i was thinking as far ahead as getting pregnant years from now and would anyone be willing to have unprotected sex with me then? literally the day the test results came back i joined positivesingles.com, convinced that a site like that was the only way i could have a relationship.
but amazingly enough, the first guy i dated since getting diagnosed was a friend from college and he was totally fine with it. within just a week of dating he was already asking to have sex (i said we should wait a couple more weeks and we did, but i just remember being so surprised that he didn't need to be in love with me to want to have sex). anyway, i think it depends on the guy. i'm still in a relationship with this guy (9 months now) and we probably stopped using condoms just a month or so into the relationship (his choice) and we've never used protection for oral sex. i'm also on daily valtrex which he didn't ask me to go on but i felt i should for his sake. and he hasn't caught herpes.
just know that 1/4 of women have this and at least you know it so you can protect your partner. and at first i was resentful that most of the people that have it don't know they have it, the whole ignorance-is-bliss feeling. but then the thing is for women it can be really dangerous, i.e. if they have an outbreak while pregnant and don't know it, it could be fatal to the baby. and just remember if a guy really cares about your relationship, he won't be phased by it.
- Thank you for your input
- Ranked Helpful (3)
- Report Abuse
How to Test for Herpes
Learn how herpes testing works and what to expect at your doctor's appointment.
