wow. i can't believe how much you sound like i did a year ago. i'm 21 now and this time last year i lost my virginity on the last night of a summer fling during a summer abroad. the week i came back home i found out the guy had given me herpes. he'd never had symptoms before and we used a condom.i was so humiliated and it took at least a couple months to come to terms with it. i had all the same concerns. i was terrified of dating. i was thinking as far ahead as getting pregnant years from now and would anyone be willing to have unprotected sex with me then? literally the day the test results came back i joined positivesingles.com, convinced that a site like that was the only way i could have a relationship.

but amazingly enough, the first guy i dated since getting diagnosed was a friend from college and he was totally fine with it. within just a week of dating he was already asking to have sex (i said we should wait a couple more weeks and we did, but i just remember being so surprised that he didn't need to be in love with me to want to have sex). anyway, i think it depends on the guy. i'm still in a relationship with this guy (9 months now) and we probably stopped using condoms just a month or so into the relationship (his choice) and we've never used protection for oral sex. i'm also on daily valtrex which he didn't ask me to go on but i felt i should for his sake. and he hasn't caught herpes.

just know that 1/4 of women have this and at least you know it so you can protect your partner. and at first i was resentful that most of the people that have it don't know they have it, the whole ignorance-is-bliss feeling. but then the thing is for women it can be really dangerous, i.e. if they have an outbreak while pregnant and don't know it, it could be fatal to the baby. and just remember if a guy really cares about your relationship, he won't be phased by it.

Hi, oh my god, ive jsut found out today that i have the virus and i am freaking out. how u felt is exactly how i feel right now. im all over the place, it feels like the end of the world. im sure u know how im feeling. No ones ever gonna want to be with me knowing i have herpes... its the one std that ive always said if i ever got it id never be able to cope and now i have it. Please reassure me that it is not that bad...lol. What i dont get tho is if u have unprotected sex and oral sex, y hasent ur bf caught the virus?!?im gonna be so scarred everytime i have sex (if i ever do again...eek) that ill pass it onto my partner..... will i never be able to receive oral sex again??god!!can i pass it from down below to my mouth??ive already had 2 outbreaks in one month and so scarred that this is how its gonna be forever also (sorry for all the questions lol) if ive just had sypmtoms and i had sex 2-3 weeks ago (which is how long the virus can take to appear) does that mean that i caught it off that guy or cud i have had it for years and not known... please help me...id truly honestly appreciate it, thank you xx