Wednesday, July 29, 2009 Louise asks

Q: Is it possible to conceive naturally with a non-infected partner?

I recently contracted HSV Type 2 from my boyfriend. He says that he had an occurence 6 years ago but wasn't aware it could spread when there are no blisters so didnt tell me had it as he didn't think it was necessary. We're still together though sometimes I almost hate him. I feel as though I could never date anyone else because how could I tell someone I have herpes? They would run a mile... instantly! How would we have kids or be able to conceive if we have to use condoms all the time? Even when my boyfriend and I have sex - although we both have herpes - I feel as though together we are making the virus stronger and Im also afriad that the thrusting may cause another occurence. Im scared to touch his manhood because Im afraid it may spread further. My first occurrence was ridiculously painful. Is it worse for women than it is for men? Is it supposed to affect the anal area as well even though I've never had anal sex? If I were to enter a new relationship with someone who does not have herpes, how would we conceive? I'm trying to remain positive but I keep getting overly emotional everytime I think about it and I'm also scared that the stress is going to trigger another outbreak. When I had an outbreak recently, a horrible blister also came up on my elbow which my doctor told me was a result of the virus. Does this happen a lot?

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Answers (2)

7/29/09 8:00pm

I also have that question..if you were to be with someone without herpes how would you have a baby with them? would they have to basically accept the fact that they're gonna have the disease too because you can't use a condom obviously..maybe by taking valtrex everyday he won't get it even without a condom

Louise

8/ 9/09 8:22pm

Thank you for replying.

At least I know I'm not the only one considering this. From what I understand (courtesy of google), it seems that your partner would just have to accept that they too may get it. Not sure how many people would react to that, but hey it helps to divide the serious types from the not so serious types i suppose (thats one possible positive way of looking at it).

mayflower

8/ 8/09 2:00pm

I also have herpes type 2. I went through the same kind of emotions when I was first diagnosed and for a long time after. Please don;t feel like you are not worthy of love because of herpes. If you and your boyfriend love each other you should be happy to be together. I do not think it is a good idea to simply stay with him out of fear. Talk about the issues you are having with him and a doctor. Even if you both have herpes you both should be taking medication (Valtrex) and still practice safe sex (condom) as the virus strands mutate differently in everybody. This is why it is so hard to cure and also probably the reason why you feel it prompts outbreaks. Vigorous sex also tends to prompt outbreaks. Also you seem (understandably) really stress out. this can also cause outbreaks. Please just sit down and breathe. say affirmations to yourself every morning. I'm sure you are a wonderful beautiful person and there is no reason for you to think you have no way out. I was disgnosed with herpes 2 years ago and 10 months ago I met the man of my dreams. I was so afraid of what he would think if he found out that its turned an otherwise perfect relationship into something ugly because everytime i looked at him i thought how am I going to tell him? But one day I sucked up my pride and was honest with him. and guess what? He understood. i take valtrex daily and we use protection and i've never been happier. As far as conceiving naturally I believe that you can conceive naturally if you are on meds and give birth naturally as long as both occur during a time when you are not experiencing an outbreak. but i'm not 100% sure so i would consult a doctor.

Louise

8/ 9/09 8:20pm

Thank you for sharing your own experience. I know it could be worse - much worse - and so even when I feel stressed, I just try to remind myself of this. Your experience has been positive so that gives me some hope. I'm going to start by talking to my partner. On the bright side, I think I'll be ok. This is just another test of my strength - mental and physical - and God doesn't give us more than He knows we can handle.

Thank you again.

Q: Is it possible to conceive naturally with a non-infected partner?

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