Monday, October 20, 2014
Thursday, February 19, 2009 davlin75, Community Member, asks

Q: Husband diagnosed with herpes after 34 yrs of marriage? Got questions, need some information.

Last week my husband went to the Dr with burning & itching in the anal area. He told him he had some blisters & that it appeared to be the herpes virus. The Dr put him on Valtrex & Bactrim. He seems to be better but we are wondering where he got this. We have been married 34 yrs with no other sexual partners. Don't know a lot about this, but I am assuming that when his outbreak is over will it be OK for sex or should we use a condom? How easy is it for me or anyone else in our family to catch this? I may already be infected with it but have never had any outbreaks that I am aware of. Can this be spread by eating or drinking after each other or just sex? Could this have been contracted from a toilet seat that an infected person has touched while having an outbreak? Our Dr said that he could have had this in his system for 20 yrs or so but never had an outbreak like this. If anyone can give us some answers or helpful info we sure would appreciate it.

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Answers (3)
t, Community Member
2/20/09 12:02am

Well first off what type does he have?If its type 2 the only way really he can catch this is sexually. So he either got it before you to got together & had it for 34 years or he cheated. Now what i would do is have both of u tested. Take the blood test. I believe that if your numbers are really high that means you have had it for awhile. My numbers were type 1 @ 5.00 & type 2 @ 4.10. When i was diagnosed i think i had it for about 3 months. Now wiht your husband he would have higher numbers then i would. The reason why u want to take the blood test to is to see what type u have. If its type 1 usually that stays on the mouth & type 2 is the genitals. And what he needs to do is figure out whom he got this from. I know its a long time ago but if he can contact or find them people he slept with that would be great.


Always use a condom when you have sex with him. Dont have sex when he has outbreaks cause u are for sure to get it then. I would also test yourself to. IF your type 2 positive & he is type 2 postive to then when u both have sex u wont need to take the valtrex or use the condoms.


If you have type 1 & have an outbreak yes the cold sore is easy to spread. Dont drink out of his glass or nothing like that. Herpes type 1 or 2 is passed by skin to skin contact.


Na he wouldnt of caught this from a toilet seat.


So hun like i said there is 2 possibilities on how he got this. Either he got this before u got married & it layed dormant all this time & he some how triggered an outbreak. Or hun he cheated & this is his first outbreak. Thats why i said its very important that you both take blood tests. I mean its possible u come up as negative cause ive seen that happen before. And if he comes up negative right now then u know for sure he cheated cause he should be positive after 20 years of having this if this is the case any ways. If u have any questions for me please feel free to email me. thanks

anotherguy, Community Member
1/28/10 2:59pm

The numbers do not necessarily mean the length of time. Antibodies are different in different people. It could have been dormant, or just overlooked as the outbreaks could have been less severe. Although you could have it, you also could not. There is no cut and dry on HSV. Blood test will tell you if you have had it for over 3 or 4 month, by a numerical value only, is you get an IgG test for specific type HSV 1 or HSV 2. If he never had a serious outbreak (thought it was something else, like jock itch, insect bites, etc) and has not viral shed then you may have not gotten infected. Stranger things have happened. Good luck.


Disclosing Herpes, Community Member
1/27/12 3:50pm

I know this an old  blog. He cheated on you. You don't get herpes from toilet seats-- only from intimate contact with an infected partner. Nor, does a terrible outbreak happen out of the blue.

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By davlin75, Community Member— Last Modified: 01/27/12, First Published: 02/19/09