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Q: I met and became interested in a woman who later admitted to me that she was told she had Herpes Antibodies in her system. Am I at risk for contracting herpes if I have vaginal or oral sex with her?
A person infected with the herpes virus has a moral obligation to disclose herpes before having sex. In fact, you could take legal action against her for not disclosing it. You are always at risk of being infected with herpes even under the following circumstances: the person is asymptomatic (no signs of an outbreak), taking antiviral drugs and using a condom. I was infected by a physician who denied having any STDs over five years ago. It took under two years for me to become infected with herpes. The relationship could not sustain the broken trust.
According to an article in the New York Times, http://consults.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/06/18/giving-your-partner-herpes/, a condom alone is roughly 30% effective. Antiviral drugs alone are roughly 49% effective. 70% of persons are infected by partners with no symptoms. The only way to avoid herpes is to avoid sexual contact with an infected partner. Herpes comes with life-long issues and takes years to accept the consequences of living with herpes (I haven't yet). Personally, I believe both partners should discuss these issues together with a knowledgeable treating physician before having sex for best results.
Personally, I would be concerned that your partner did not disclose this prior to having sex. She should not gamble with your health. I have an extreme case of herpes. Even with insurance, I spending $200 month for acyclovir and supplements to boost my immune system. Good luck to you.
You absolutely are at risk of contracting the virus through both oral and vaginal sex. I have been trying to date having the HSV-2 virus myself, and in my opinion she should have told you before you engaged in intimate activities. That's just me!
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