i just read this and cried. i have herpes and i am 21 too and have had it for a yr and a half and it is soooo ahrd living with it. but it has made me so much stronger.. it weeds out the jerk guys honestly lol though i havent found anyone i try and keep my head up about it just lately i have been feeling lonely and it is hard. but thins really brought me up! thnak u!

ya know the one thing about some guys are they tend to look at a womans body more than her heart and forget she is a human being. I've never hit a woman in my life but with the way the world has become not even having a heart like mine is enough to prove that im not like most men. Real love is not that hard to find its just hard as heck to find it with the right person. I've been looking for my soulmate all my life and I don't look at stuff like STD or any of that to stop a man from loving a woman even if the man dont have it he should be willing to still love that woman with all of his heart. Its not what the woman is carrying that makes her who she is its her heart that makes her the kind of woman she is.

thanks for this it really inspired me im 21 and have had herpes for about 6months you have honestly given me hope ive started lookin at my disease in a positive way it helps me get rid of the bad guys and make way for the good ones thanks soo much you dont know what it means to me 

This also made me cry. I was recently diagnosed and it's been rough. I've been depressed and crying for months and I keep thinking I'm never going to find anyone. Being 20, I know no guy my age is mature enough to understand what I'm going through. My boyfriend, who gave it to me, had a cold sore in his mouth when it happened. I never knew you could get it from that. Now I'm stuck in a relationship that I don't know if I want to be in because I hate him and like him at the same time. I'm so lost, but this really inspired me. Thank you so much, I hope I will have similar experiences in later life. 

I'm sorry to hear that you were recently diagnosed, but I'm glad you found this website, I think it's a great way to learn more about herpes and to learn ways to cope that have worked for others. I just wanted to say try not to hate him, I know thats much easier said than done because we want to blame someone (well I know I did lol), but I can almost bet my life that he feels guilty for giving it to you and if he could turn back time he probably would.  Give yourself some time to heal and think about everything before you kick him to the curb.  Hope everything works out just the way you want it to =]]]

I'm glad that my post has been helpful to you all, it's just another reassurance that this has made me a better person, I'm able to share my experience and maybe help others that are going through what I went through.  I wanted to update on my post because it's been a while, but I ended up marrying the third guy and we have a beautiful baby boy who is absolutely amazing.  While I was pregnant I had one outbreak but took a higher dose of Valtrex and it went away in a day or so, I've had herpes for almost four years now and in the last two years have had two outbreaks, and I quit taking my valtrex almost a year ago with no issues since.  I hope that this helps reassure you all as well, we were all young when we were diagnosed but we've still got a lot of life left to live!

Thank you so much for this post.  I just developed symptoms 3 days ago that have developed into a full-blown onslaught.  I'm about to tell the man I've been dating for two months (the man I decided after our first date that I wanted to marry) that I have herpes.  I'm so scared that I gave it to him without knowing.  That is, by far, my largest concern.  Nobody deserves that.  And to have hurt someone that I love is unbearable.

In the back of my mind through all of this was a voice saying "This doesn't make me any different from who I was before this outbreak.  I'm still a good, strong, loving person who will do a lot of good for this world."  But the part of me that's scared, the part that grew up in a society that places a premium on purity and virginity, that part is So Damn Scared.  I feel dirty, I feel like a slut (an outdated and ridiculous term), and I feel undeserving of anyone's love.  But you reminded me that a virus doesn't change the person I am, the person my boyfriend fell in love with.  

I am more important than a virus.  So are you.

i am sorry your bofriend is a cheater i am a guy and i wish u could talk to u. so here is my dads # 702 6061277

Aww you are a sweet guy. I want to thank everyone who has posted on this page. I stumbled upon it and I am so glad I did. I have had genital herpes for almost three years. I am 23. It doesn't get a a whole lot easier (my own personal experience) but I am learning slowly that it does not define me. ANd yes, you would be surprised to know that a lot of men, good men at least, are very understanding. Good luck to everyone, and please never forget, you are not defined by your virus, but by how you lead your life. Much love to all :)

Hi, reading your post did make me feel better and more confident in telling the new guy i have been dating. I still wanted to ask you if you were ever rejected and how did it feel?

I have had my fair share of male rejection over the years but not a one because of herpes.  If that ever does happen though then I know that the person who rejected me is not a person I want to be with.  Stay strong, and if he rejects you then keep moving forward :)

i am 32 i have had herpese for 31/2 years. i am still depressed about it. I feel like i am the only one in the world with it. My family and friends tell me it is going to be okay but deep sown inside i do not believe that. I feel alone and want someone to talk to. I have tried to date but they do not seem to want me. They claim they are alright with it then the next day they do not talk to me. It is making me feel more and more depressed. I cry everyday i am crying as i am writing this. I just want someone to love me for who i am. i just want an understanding to how to live with this situation. Please help. thanks

i've had herpes for about 7yrs now and its still hard to deal with like u said i have my good days and bad, just now i was sitting at my computer wondering will someone love me if i tell them I have this..i try to avoid dating and when i do date i get sorry men because thats what i feel i deserve but your message has really given me the courage to life my head and feel i do derserve better..So I thank you. I feel so blessed to had come across this site its nice to know your not alone and just to have someone to chat with so thank you so much..

I'm glad that it helped!  It makes me feel very good to know that my experience can help others, and I'm very glad that you are starting to feel like you deserve more than sorry men, because we all do. I love reading the nice things that people say about my post and I know that something good definitely came out of me having to cope with an STD.

Wow, I have been reading everones posts and it has helped me somewhat!! I am 48 years old and I found out 2 years ago that I contracted Herpes from someone that lied to me someone that I love and cared for well we are no longer toegther after three years I thonk I stayed with him longer because I didnt think anyone else would ever have me because of the STD. I have since dated and have always been upfront (yes terrifing ) and I have been rejected wich is very hard to take. Recently someone that I really care for came back into my life. I told him after a few weeks only because I care so much for him that the thought of falling more in love with him and him rejecting me was playing on my mind. Well he is still my boyfrind but we haven't really talked to much about it since leaving me feeling very vunerable.......will he stay willl he go................I hate this, but it's something that I will have to live with the rest of my life. If someone cant get past the STD part and see how great of a person you are well then I guess they are not right for you. That being said it does not help that rejection part that goes on in your head, after all nobody wants to be rejected.

Guess I have to love myself and hope that someone will love me STDs and all :) 

Thank you for telling me that, and I'm so glad that it can help you in a moment of need.  I know how hard it is to talk to people when I get down about it and thats why I joined this site and I love knowing that I helped someone, even if for a moment and in a small way. I hope everything goes well for you, and everyone who has responded, everything happens for a reason and were pretty lucky people to have this site to turn to in times of need. 

I found out that I have herpes a week ago. It was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. The only thing going through my brain was "how could this happen to me" and "no one will ever love me again" or "I'll be stuck with my current boyfriend forever"  this post helped me see this in a new light. Thank you so much for your story as I think it gives everyone a little piece of mind. I'm so glad your life worked out the way it did.

I'm 24 years old and have only had sex a hanfull of times, and have only had 4 partners. I hadn't had sex in 2 years and just 2 weeks ago hooked up with a friend of mine. A week later we had sex again. I started noticing bumps 2-3 days later and a tiny bit of itching in the vaginal area (didn't think much of it, being as everyting occasionally itches. Anyways it's been a week since the last time I had sex and the 2 bumps on my inner thighs had opened and are now scabs and I have noticed 3 more bumps closer to my crotch area. I've been checking out the internet for 3 days and am almost 100% sure I have herpes. I'm trying not to freak out or think about it. But I've always been the good girl, never had a boyfriend, always been strong and able to handle my own. There was at least a year between each time I ever had sex. And now thinking about having herpes I'm so scared I wont find anyone. I don't even know who to tell. Or  who to talk to. I feel tarnished. I dont want to get tested. I don't want to know for sure. I will not have sex, that's for sure. But I need to tell the guy I slept with last. At the same time, will he tell our friends? I know 1 out of every 5 people have herpes but I don't know anyone who does. I want to tell my mom... but I still think she thinks I'm a virgin. How to deal? How to deal? And who can I trust? 

i thank you for this because i am 18 yrs old and i think i have herpes, not positive..but honestly nothing else really does that to someones body. i am absolutely terrified and keep breaking down at the thought of never having a husband and family, which is something i have always wanted. your post gave me hope and whenever i feel down about this...i will read your post and remember there is still hope.

wow! i know that this post is years old, but thank you....

I have just read your story and it too moved me to tears. You are so right. I have been there myself, as I have had HSV2 and HPV for ten years now. He did it on purpose. I think it makes us slightly more worthy being treated carefully emtionally by potentional boyfriends because we have had to go through the trauma of being given this in the first place. All the best of luck to you, I hope you have a brilliant new year.

im 21 years old i was dianosed with herpies a year ago but i was raped i meet this wounderful guy that accept me n didnt care i endend up passinf it to him we datted for 4 months n we broke up because of my attiutde n my stubborness so we r no longer together n now he hates me even more n when i was with him i forgot i had herpies until i had a outbreak now that we r broken up and ne never wants to be with me ever i feel like im suffering cus not everyone lucky i had guys tell me im gross dont talk to them they dont even want to be friends with me because of my std i feel like he was the only one fo me n i think about him day in day out n he just hates me n he sayed he dont need a girlfriend o need sex but he has herpies so without being with him my pain comes back everyday n i hate my self day in day out i just feel like dieing

Hi, so I'm a 19 year old female... I was diagnosed with HSV 1 about a year ago when i was 18.. My boyfriend of over a year was the one who gave it to me.. The worst part is we were both virgins and ive only ever slept with him and vice versa. He had never before gotten a cold sore on his mouth so how would he know he had it.. he gave it to me oprally because he must have been shedding the virus at the time. but we had already been having sexual relations for almost a year. One day i woke up and got in the shower and felt down there to clean myself and felt all of these sore painful bumps.. I FREAKED out. The only thing i could think of was that he had cheated.. i knew i hadnt even kissed another person since we'd been together and i had no clue you could get herpes from the common cold sore-- which we also had no idea he had in the first place either-- we had already been having relationship issues.. this had only made it worse. We're still together till this day.. Its been almost 2 and half years now. I love him very very much and i want to be with him, but his mother is crazy controlling and because i stopped letting her manipulate me she decided she didnt like me anymore.. the problem is we both feel like were soul mates but his mom doesnt want us together now.. so idk if were gonna be able to stay together and im devastated, so much because i love him and want to be with him so bad, hes the nicest sweetest guy ive ever met. hes my bestfriend... and then im also so scared to be without him because i feel like nobody will ever love me again... i feel like im damaged goods. i just want to be happy and loved. i dont see how this ever could have happened to me. im literally the nicest person, i never like being mean to anyone and i was always a good girl. i waited until i was 100% in love and in a relationship where i was positive he was my soulmate to have sex.. ive only been with him.. and yet i get herpes! how is that fair?! and now im just so depressed... since ive been with him and got diagnosed ive leaned on him to help me through it and hes comforted me, and i havent had to think of the consiquences sexually either, he would still go down on me-- because i mean thats where i got it from in the first place, his mouth-- and we still would make unprotected love.. but now thinking that we might have to break up -- and not even because we want to!--- i just cant imagine being able to date anymore. nobody will understand.. i can just picture being with someone and the second i mention i have herpes theyll run away.. all ive ever wanted was to find love and get married and have lots of babies.. but now i feel like i cant.. nobdoy can love me like this. why would someone want damaged goods?.. im just in the lowest place possible. reading your stories helped.. but i still cant seem to see how someone could love me anymore.. i mean from what i can remember dating was hard enough! and how i have a permanent STD!! im just tired of this life.. i feel like ive tried so hard my whole life and for what?! people are mean, i always get screwed over because im too nice and people take advantage of me.. whats the point? and now that i might be single again and i have herpes. i just dont know if i can handle it on my own, with nobody to love me.. i dont think i can do it.

Hi, so I'm a 19 year old female... I was diagnosed with HSV 1 about a year ago when i was 18.. My boyfriend of over a year was the one who gave it to me.. The worst part is we were both virgins and ive only ever slept with him and vice versa. He had never before gotten a cold sore on his mouth so how would he know he had it.. he gave it to me oprally because he must have been shedding the virus at the time. but we had already been having sexual relations for almost a year. One day i woke up and got in the shower and felt down there to clean myself and felt all of these sore painful bumps.. I FREAKED out. The only thing i could think of was that he had cheated.. i knew i hadnt even kissed another person since we'd been together and i had no clue you could get herpes from the common cold sore-- which we also had no idea he had in the first place either-- we had already been having relationship issues.. this had only made it worse. We're still together till this day.. Its been almost 2 and half years now. I love him very very much and i want to be with him, but his mother is crazy controlling and because i stopped letting her manipulate me she decided she didnt like me anymore.. the problem is we both feel like were soul mates but his mom doesnt want us together now.. so idk if were gonna be able to stay together and im devastated, so much because i love him and want to be with him so bad, hes the nicest sweetest guy ive ever met. hes my bestfriend... and then im also so scared to be without him because i feel like nobody will ever love me again... i feel like im damaged goods. i just want to be happy and loved. i dont see how this ever could have happened to me. im literally the nicest person, i never like being mean to anyone and i was always a good girl. i waited until i was 100% in love and in a relationship where i was positive he was my soulmate to have sex.. ive only been with him.. and yet i get herpes! how is that fair?! and now im just so depressed... since ive been with him and got diagnosed ive leaned on him to help me through it and hes comforted me, and i havent had to think of the consiquences sexually either, he would still go down on me-- because i mean thats where i got it from in the first place, his mouth-- and we still would make unprotected love.. but now thinking that we might have to break up -- and not even because we want to!--- i just cant imagine being able to date anymore. nobody will understand.. i can just picture being with someone and the second i mention i have herpes theyll run away.. all ive ever wanted was to find love and get married and have lots of babies.. but now i feel like i cant.. nobdoy can love me like this. why would someone want damaged goods?.. im just in the lowest place possible. reading your stories helped.. but i still cant seem to see how someone could love me anymore.. i mean from what i can remember dating was hard enough! and how i have a permanent STD!! im just tired of this life.. i feel like ive tried so hard my whole life and for what?! people are mean, i always get screwed over because im too nice and people take advantage of me.. whats the point? and now that i might be single again and i have herpes. i just dont know if i can handle it on my own, with nobody to love me.. i dont think i can do it.

Hello everyone.I sat here for almost an hour reading all of your messages and it just made me cry.Knowing that there are people out there who's going through almost the same thing as iam just makes me want to hug each and every one of you and thank you all for sharing your experiences,support and hope.it just really helps a lot.Iam 20 years old and was diagnosed with HSV type 2 six months ago.My boyfriend cheated on me even though he denies it i know he lied to me.And even though he was very supportive i just couldn't seem to forgive him and trust him again.Since then i haven't been able to tell anyone else.Only him and my doctor knows.i still haven't got the courage to tell my family and not even my best friend.I've been scared all this time,trying to hold on to someone i dont even trust anymore.scared that if i let him go i will have to start dating again meaning i will have to tell someone else.I've been scared all this time to tell my family because i'am scared of how they will react.and for 6 months now i've been suffering in silence and going through this ALL alone.I was lost didn't know what would become of me.it seemed easier to pretend to others and even myself that i dont have it but deep down i knew i had to come to peace with it and tell someone.That is why iam writing this today.I've come to realise that it is about time i put all this pain and fear behind me.Herpes has forever change my life iam now a stronger person,more mature,i've started eating healthier,doing exercise,stop smoking and it just have made me see the world in a completely different way.It has made me realise just how much i want to live and made me appreciate life even more.I know it may sound like iam exagerating but trust me sometimes it takes things like herpes to make wake us up,start living life and to make the most of it.In a few days i'am going to sign my very first modelling contract and in a few months going to persue my dream of going to uni and go for masters.Hope all goes well.keeping fingers crossed :) we all go through really bad things in life whether its with STD's,cancer or whatever.you just have to stand strong,face it,live with it and let it change you for the better.There is no point in sitting down and feeling bad for ourselves.we just have to see the positive side of everything no matter how bad it gets.I may not be ready to trust and even date again and it might be for a very long time.but i know when the right time comes i will find that someone who will truely love me,accept me for who iam,marry me and have children together.I may not be ready to tell my friend and family but writing this message is one of the first step im taking.Thank you 'youarebeautiful' for giving me hope and all of you out there also.Remember you are all beautiful and worth loving.Herpes makes us become better person.

how old are you<3

I was in the same boat as you a few years ago. I thought that no one would want to be with me because of it. I met a wonderful man who completely accepted it and we have recently gotten married. The point is, more people are accepting of than you think. There are some people that won't accept it, but those people are toxic for you anyway. You should just continue living your life as you normally would. I got the disease in 2009 and I have had 2 outbreaks and that was it.  Haven't had anything since. You'll be fine and you'll leave to cope with it. Don't let it consume you!

Hi,

Thanks for your response. Since the time that I have found out that I had herpes I have found an amazing man that loves me for me. I told him about it and he accepted it. I feel so much better and have accepted it myself, I remember I use to think of it everyday feeling so disgusted in myself now I barely think of it and sometimes I forget I have it. So I guess I am responding back to you letting you know that you are right. I am fine and it no longer consumes me at all.

Thanks

Chelsea, your story just sounds so sad. It is horrible that it had to happen to you because you certainly don't desrve this horrible desease. Even though you are angry with yourself for getting it, you should learn to accept things for how they are. If situation cannot be changed than there is no point to cry over spilled milk. I know that it is easier said than done, but I think I accepting our problems is the first step to overcoming them. 

Hi Chelsea,

We have very similar stories. I'm currently in graduate school in the medical field and just found out a few days ago that I contracted GH. Like you, I did not know that all that needed to happen was a little skin-to-skin contact. It's unfortunate that such cautious people as ourselves ended up with this. While I was upset to hear the news, I honestly finally felt relief. In the days leading up to my appointment, I knew something was wrong and was extremely stressed. Like you I was not eating, being myself, etc. I only told one of my best friends and my sister. I know my parents would never understand, as they are very conservative like yours. Maybe I'm being way too positive and naive, but I really do truly believe that if someone loves me, they will be able to get past this. Our love lives are not over. We have so much to offer! We are young, hot, smart women! Luckily, when we do find someone we care about and want to date, we can take suppressive medication that dramatically reduces our risk of passing the disease to them. Do not be disgusted with yourself, this disease affects 1/4 women and can happen to anyone! I'm not a very religious person, but sometimes I think we experience these types of things in our lives to challenge us and to guide us in the right direction. Keep your head up! I know it's tough! 

i have it also.......I have it for almost 7 years now. The first time I got it, I just ignored it and never had any relationship for a while..... everything was fine until i meet this girl that i wanted to marry.... but because of the herpes situation and i don't want her to end up like me..... started to avoid her because of my situation.... between that 7 year period..... everytime i met a girl, i always end up avoiding them even though they want to do it but i don't because of the situation..... i am lost until now and i don't know what to do???

i am 19 and i found out 2 weeks ago i had HSV-1 from oral sex. I have been with the same guy for a year, and HSV1 runs in his family, they all get cold sores. It's not somthing he knew he could pass around. I accepted the fact that I had the disease from him, and he did also. He was there for me at the doctors when they gave me the news, and it hit him just as hard as it hit me..  because he knew he had given them to me. I was fine, and totally acceptence of the diagnosis. I'm young and I thought this was love. We've been together a year without any problems... and I thought, well hey.. I'm going to marry this guy someday, and he gave this to me.. we can live happy with herpes together. But, today.. that all ended. He broke up with me, so he could go out and party with other girls. While I sat at home and cried, devistated. I feel as if, no one will ever accept me or want to be with me because of it. I also feel as though I could never say "hey, i have herpes..will you still be with me" I feel like I'm going to be rejected many many times.. After he left me tonight, I am feeling very depressed, and even thoughts of ending my life have crossed my mind. I never imagined my life without him, and not to mention... ive never imagined my life with herpes.

Thanks to Dr okudu for bringing back my husband today I am very have to share this testimony to every one who is

heart brake looking for some one to help him or her kindly contact Dr okudu temple today he is the best spell

caster that I have ever see in my life the man really show me the hope and happiness that I need in my life he also

help me cast a healing spell on my mother who have been sick because of my love problem she was having a heart

problem in that case she fall into stroke she was sick for good one years ooh my heart is so happy today for the

help Dr okudu brought to my life I and my family is happy today and me and my lover is planning to get more

children and he promise not to make me sad anymore that he is going to show me love more than ever before ones

again thanks Doc you are my father and everything in this life without you what will I have done you are the best

of all I hope you find this testimony online and I will make you happy and bring more client to your temple who

need you help I hope you help them too with you spell prayer and I will also give them your email address

(okudutemple@gmail.com)Thanks to your gods I will call you when I am back from work okay Doctor is me your lovely

Child nathasia from london,uk