There are two types of herpes (HSV), herpes simplex one and herpes simplex two. Both live in the spine in a latent stage, and are most likely to manifest themselves when someone is feeling depleted. simplex one generally manifests itself on the mouth as a cold-sore, and simplex two generally on the genitalia. however simplex one can appear on genitalia and vice versa.
Herpes is a skin to skin transmitted disease. Meaning just rubbing of the genitalia, closed mouth kissing, and oral sex can be modes of transmission. one of the most common ways of it spreading is parents kissing their children. Also, the most contagious time for the virus to spread is not during an outbreak, rather when the skin is "shedding". An outbreak may never actually occur.
One in four adults in the USA have herpes, and the most common symptom is no symptom at all. There are different types of tests as you may know including a visual examination, a culture if there is an open sore, or a blood test. I know it may seem frustrating but none of these test are 100%. The blood test is looking for anti-bodies instead of the actual virus, which means it is plausible to have a false negative.
Stigma around Sexual Transmitted infections make them difficult to talk about and prevent people from open communication and testing. which is absurd when such a high percentage of the population is infected.