Friday, October 31, 2014
Saturday, August 09, 2008 diana, Community Member, asks

Q: how long can gential herpes lie dormant

How long could it be before symptoms show up?

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Answers (5)
cmclane, Community Member
8/10/08 9:15am



I was just dx with herpes, wow, still in shock and feeling pretty sad.  I have been married for 11 years and I'm 35 with 2 children.  I thought I had a UTI and it turned into this.  If you want to hear more of my story let me know, but to answer your question they told me that it can be dormant for years... like 15 I said as I have been in a committed relationship.  I lay in bed at night and think about it only 6 days since dx and it consumes me.  How did I get this, I didn't deserve it, why now?



hopeful4life, Community Member
8/ 9/09 2:01am

Hey Cmclane,


I just had my first outbreak of genital herpes this past week. Turned out to be HSV-1 which I guess I should be happy about. I am beyond devastated. I think Ive read everything possible on the net until the early hours of the morning every night. I've cried everyday. Im 33, never married, not promiscuous, always practiced safe sex. All I can think about is that now I will never get married and have the family Ive dreamed of, who will want me, I feel totally damaged. Id lvoet o hear more about your story, after 11 years of marriage, thats crazy. Has your husband been tested? How is he taking this?


feeling sick, Community Member
5/19/10 8:35pm

Hello.  I just got diagnosed yesterday with GH (well not yet waiting for results).  I feel the same as you.  I am 38 and single.  Not sure how long I have had this.  I think I might have had symptoms for the past year but it presented itself first as a sore hard spot.  I just assumed it was an area that became infected from either ingrown hair or after intercourse (friction).  Never had "bumps" till now.  They look like clusters which is usually a good sign that its herpes.  I am waiting for results but almost positive that is what it is.  I am so sick to my stomach and crying all the time and embarrassing crying at work and unable to tell anyone.  I feel "dirty", keep wondering how me when I waited till I was in my mid 20's before I had intercourse.  I think the same as you as far as who will want me know and if the day comes will I be able to have a child "naturally".  I am currently in relationship and almost completely sure it did not come from him.  As he tells me he still loves me.

His words " 

>You have people that love and support you....that will be there for you no 
>matter what.
This is sweet and all but now I dont think i can ever relax and have normal
relationship with him or if it doesnt work out in the future. I feel sick and
wonder if I ever gave it to someone else
monkeys06, Community Member
8/ 9/10 7:59pm

So your current boyfriend took the news pretty well? I am only 28 yrs and got dx a few months ago. I started seeing this guy and he is a great guy. I don't know if I should break it off with him or if I should just let him know. I don't like rejection so I don't know what I should do. Do you have any suggestions on how or if I should tell him???

Please let me know

Thank You

Lyfeneverdasame, Community Member
5/15/13 7:13am

Wow...ur story sounds very, very similar to mines. I' ve only been talking to the guy I'm with for teo months and I don't know what to do at this point either. It's very mind bothering. I'm the same as you and was recently diagnosed as well..Never thought this would happen to me but now I just have to figure out what to do?...I'm super depressed b/c this is embarrassing and I'm just lost right now......

Felicia, Community Member
9/ 5/13 1:33am

YES! This coming from someone who wasn't given a choice in the situtation. It was just passed on and I had been living with it and not knowing. I found out in a text from the  that well young lady that, no not lady, that gave it to my HUSBAND knowingly and then he found out three months before me, but didnt know how to tell me. We had been having problems for awhile, but I didnt know our marriage was so messed up.


Lynda, Community Member
12/15/12 3:00am
I am undergoing chemo for bowel cancer and have just had my first outbreak of gh I am 65 and my husband is 71 due to my husband diabetes we have not had sex for approx 5 years. Faithfully married for 37. Years neither of us has had any previous symptoms . I to cry everyday ican live with the cancer but the shame and stigma of gh has made me want to give up the fight for life normally a positive person this has really affected me . Reply
mvan310, Community Member
10/ 5/14 9:08am

I so can relate...underwent treatment for rectal cancer 4 years ago and had first outbreak.  I'm now 66 and married 37 years.  Also not sexual active for four years and both of us faithful.  Cancer is difficult en ought but herpes on top is insult to injury.  Don't despair...fight the cancer.  The Ghost can be dealt with by taking valtrex.  I have two beautiful grandkids and a great family...I want to be here for them.  If I have to take another pill so be it.  Why it reared it's ugly head now so be it.  Take care

Felicia, Community Member
3/ 7/13 2:20pm

Sorry it took so long to reply, but yes he was and he knew he had it two months before I did. He just didn't tell me. He said he got it from the young girl he'd been having the affair with but who knows? Tomorrow is our 10 yr and to me we were never married due to allll the years of lies so what the hell? I sold my wedding rings and everything. The girl and I do STRESS GIRL has had the baby and it is his child. I sometimes wonder why in the hell am I still here.


Felicia, Community Member
8/30/13 4:24am

Well, he was tested and found out he had it 11/23/11 and he never told me. When I started to feel something was wrong and asked questions and I stated that it looked like herpes and he denied it said it was a heat rash. This was in dec .of 2011. On new years of 2012 it was confirmed that was having an affair with a 21 yr old. Long story short it had been going on for a year and a half. This started a chain of events. He swore he was ending it and three months later she was pregant and she gave birth in nov. 2012 and the baby is fine. They have some kind of antibotic treatment she went thru while pregant to prevent the baby from getting it. We have had some time to work on us and he took alot time to work on himself, sometimes I see the old him try and come thru, but I call him on it and he stops and we start again.Now the little girl is 9mths and she is a joy for me with a little hurt, but it is what it is

anon, Community Member
9/13/09 11:13pm

hello, i am not sure if you still check this site but i am in the exact same position as you where a year ago. I have 2 little girls under 2 one is 4.5month i had her naturally 2month later my first primary outbreak i am so blessed that this didnt happen in pregnancy or childbirth but i am struggling everyday with this knews. i constantly live in fear i will pass it on to them changing a nappy or something i also feel i am getting an outbreak often i am wondering if it's psychological. i too thought it was a uti or some complication with my 3rd degree tearing. any advice from you will be fantastic. thank you

Mg jones, Community Member
8/28/13 6:06pm
Hi there! I do want to hear more about your story! I can really identify with u, cuz I just went to see my gyno about a spot on my vagina i was really concerned about. He did a swab and sent it off to the lab, I have a feeling that it is herpes. I've done a lot of research and my symptoms all match up with herpes. I also have been married for 10 years, I'm 34 and also have 2 kids. My husband has been my only partner, but I did hav other partners befor him. I also wonder if maybe I contracted this virus from a past partner or if my husband gave it to me. I also lay in bed thinking and feeling horrible about it! I totally know how u feel, u r not alone. Now I just have to wait and hear the bad news! Mgjones Reply
MotherOf6, Community Member
5/24/14 5:00pm

Hello, please telll me your story. I am 28. I have been with my husband since I was 14. We have 6 girls and I recently found out im with child again, I just noticed what I think is an outbreak( down there) small. I have No symptoms at all except the cluster of 4. Is it possible I have had this years and never been diagnosed even with 6 girls? Im very concerned and worried.

Destiny, Community Member
8/30/09 9:06pm

Don't beat yourself up! There is life after gh... I had it for almost 7 years and I have dated men that accepted my problem. One I almost married but I moved to another state because of my job! So there is possible love and marriage after gh. Never give up on life and your dreams. Hell I'm not! Continue living,,,

mary Cooney, Community Member
6/21/10 11:36pm

Friend has genital herpes and it is causing marital problems - they do not want to registar on your site so I said I would.  How long can this complaint stay dormant

Felicia, Community Member
9/ 5/13 1:40am

Hi! It can be years before you have any symptom of it what so ever.

8/13/14 9:36pm

Hi diana,


You received many excellent answers from other community members when you posted your question, but I was wondering if you had any updates or if you were still interested in information on the topic.


If so, you might check out these sites:


Herpes:  Knowing the Risks

Genital Herpes: The Basics

Understanding Herpes Test Results

Testing Positive For Herpes With No Symptoms

Symptoms Of Untreated Herpes



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By diana, Community Member— Last Modified: 10/05/14, First Published: 08/09/08