Honestly, some of these posts make me sick to my stomach. This is and may always be a very touchy subject, and some of you are easily pointing fingers on your partners or even downing yourselves in such demeanor.
I've had HSV I&II for nearly 10 years (who knows how long before that). I was diagnosed at the age of 19. I have talked to many different doctors over the years and no one will give you the exact same answer simply because the virus is so unpredictable and we're obviously not able to cure it yet. I have given up on a straight answer, to be honest. I look at my own facts, which are the easiest to understand (and why wouldn't they be?). I have had multiple partners since then, and if I'm correct that's about 6 partners. I always tell my partner up front that I have the virus and there is no gaurantee of anything before I jump into any relationship. So far, surprisingly, all has been okay with the situation. I have also had tons of unprotected sex with those partners as well. The kicker? Well, no one has contracted the virus from me (unless it was held from me). I would ask them to go get tested as often as they could, went with them, etc. etc. I used to take Valtrex about 5 years ago, but even then, it didn't seem to do much of anything. Since then, I have not used any home remedies or medication to subside what most think is the answer. The problem is, and you can easily tell by just reading these posts, is that there is surmountable evidence that no one truly knows what will work for that particular individual (in both dealing with the situation and medicating the virus).
It does not surprise me that some of you have had it for decades and you have never passed it on to your partner or vice versa. One thing I have noticed, for me anyway, is that the longer I've had the virus (at least since symptoms began 10 years ago) is that I have had less frequent outbreaks - maybe 2 or 3 a year - and again, the fact that somehow I have never transmitted the virus to a partner. Again, these are just my facts - it does not mean that it would be the same for anyone else.
Please, do not point fingers at your partners, or call yourselves dirty or gross. It sets the tone for the rest of us that have it, and none of us will ever be in the exact same situation; that's just how life is. It sucks that we have what we have, but just take whatever precautions necessary that makes you feel more comfortable with it because that's all you can do from here on out.
It's nice to be able to chat with others out there that have it, but let's try to keep this as positive as possible. Good luck and best wishes.