keep being there for her..all i want now that i just found out is someone to talk to about it and not feel that they're grossed out and disgusted by me. even tho it is a disgusting thing, once you have it it becomes wayyy deeper than that. it's not an STD, it's a condition that we have that's going to affect us for the REST OF OUR LIVES. you know what i'm saying? i wanna be able to talk about it with someone as a condition rather than an STD. so talk to her about it in that way. it makes it hurt less. and as for the boyfriend thing..i'm sure i will come across that multiple times in my life now that i have this but i haven't yet. introduce her to this site, it's been helping me a lot. there's also herpes dating sites which idk how i feel about those yet but i've been seriously considering them. both people have the same type of herpes what do you have to worry about? can't feel disgusting because oh wait they have it too. can't worry about passing it on to them cause ohhh wait they have it too. can't worry about wearing condoms and being all careful all the time (obviously don't get pregnant and check if they have other STDs) you can actually have a good sex life. it kinda grosses me out but i mean what about this disease isn't gross? anyways. those are some things that i think would help. also when i told my best friend she started taking these things very seriously. before you have it, you don't think twice about it. it helped me to see that i taught my friend something. she doesn't joke about STDs, she takes it seriously because she sees it in front of her face now that they really are out there when she'd never personally seen it before. maybe you can show your sister that she's taught you something.

One night a couple months ago my younger sister called me crying to tell me the news that she'd just come from the Dr and found that she'd contracted the herpes virus.  I think my world changed as much as hers that night because she is my best friend in the world and what hurts her, hurts me.  It's possible even that I've cried about it more than her at this point!  Years ago I had a minor std that was curable so I was able to get rid of it, but hers is there to stay and since I can't put myself in her position I feel like she has no one--not even me, her best friend and only confidant--who can "really" understand her.  I told her I'd go to support groups with her, do research, WHATEVER she needs to get through this.  Right now she and her JERK boyfriend who gave her the std WHO I HATE, are having problems where they break up and get back together and break up again.  What someone pointed out above was that this painful breakup process is just confirming the fact that she's "unable" to find someone who will love her, or that she's "unlovable".  My sister is the funniest, cutest, most talented and artistic, not to mention beautiful, person I know.  She was actually voted "funniest girl" in high school.  She's awesome!  But ever since this happened, she can't acknowledge her good traits like her talents and beautiful body... it's like the tiniest little things get to her and cause her to feel like the end of the world is coming.  It's the saddest thing and I feel helpless, even as her sister and best friend.  It's tough too because i'm the one person who knows, and I can't tell anyone--I told her I'd take it to the grave with me, which I will.  I don't know how to be there for her, which is the part that breaks my heart.  Just because I can't relate to her on this doesn't mean I'm not there for her and I don't want her to think that we're not as close as we've always been...I just want to know how to help her.  Unfortunately, she's the kind of person who doesn't ask for help and tries to take on everything herself....so I don't know if I step up and take the first few steps in doing research and finding help groups, or what.  I just can't sit and watch as she falls into depression.  The std isn't a problem, it's the fact that she feels she can't ever find someone to love her.

WHEWW.  It feels good to talk about this.  I'm so glad I found this forum...I haven't been able to share this and it's been months since I heard the news.  I hope more people respond...this is really helpful.  I will show my sister the site too.