can my boyfriend get herpes on his finger from fingering me if i dont have any symptoms or an outbreak?
Thanks for posting your question. Though I'm not a doctor, I do have herpes and am knowledgeable about the subject.
I think it would be very rare for your boyfriend to get herpes on his skin from fingering you. Though there is such a thing as skin herpes, in general the herpes virus must be passed through mucous membranes, like the genitals, mouth, or eye. So it would be more likely for him to catch herpes if he had a cut on his finger, regardless of whether you're having an outbreak, or of course from having sex with you.
When you are having symptoms, I definitely think he should not touch you down there. And you should also be careful about washing your hands if you touch yourself. But when you are not having symptoms, touching is usually fine.
I recommend you check out the Transmission, Prevention, and Causes and Risk Factors pages for more information about how to keep your boyfriend safe.