I also contracted genital herpes as a teen, and have lived with it for over 30 years. I am also an OB/Gyn nurse Practitioner, and for obvious reasons, took a special interest in the care and treatment of my patients living with genital herpes.
I am now 49, am perimenopausal - still having regular periods, but having emotional changes as well as some hot flashes and vaginal dryness.
I too have been having the exact same symptoms you are describing, and have taken the two Zovirax twice a day treatment. I was having so many outbreaks that I got really concerned about the status of my immune system, and possible side effects of the medication. I went through 6 treatment cycles in one month! Then I tried suppressive therapy, where you take the Zovirax one daily. Every time I went off it, I would have an even worse infection then before.
The following makes sense as far as a plan... The following are next steps for me personally...perhaps some of them would help you too.
See your NP or Dr., ask for an HIV test, just to be sure that you're not missing anything there.
Look at your stress levels, the amount of sleep you're getting, the amount of water you're drinking, and your nutritional status. Make any positive changes you can make to get more sleep, relax more, rest more, eat healthfully, drink at least 8 glasses of water a day, and take supplements to strengthen your immune system to fight off the virus. These would include vitamin C, and fish oil, as well as B vitamins, especially B6 ( no more than 60 mg B6 due to possible side effects with highter doses).
Make sure you have adequate lubrication during intercourse, even if you have to use a lubricant. Along those lines, minimize any other irritation to the genital area by wearing looser jeans, cotton underwear with no bulky seams, nonperfumed pads and tampons, and be careful about irritation from bike riding, horseback riding or other sports.
It is POSSIBLE (not proven), that hormonal supplementation with estrogen would help decrease the outbreaks, but of course there are risks with taking them. Herpes won't kill us, but cancer potentially could. Try drinking soy milk and eating soy products daily to increase the natural estrogen, also the wild Yam cream available in most health food stores is worth a try.
Best of luck.. get out there and educate yourself about this problem, and write back if you find anymore helpful information. There are many women suffering with the same thing.