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Sunday, January 23, 2011 looking for help.., Community Member, asks

Q: I am 20 years old and was just diagnosed with genital herpes.. please help me :'(

I am 20 years old and was just diagnosed with genital herpes through a swab test from a lesion on my vagina. i feel scared and alone. my boyfriend gets cold sores and i thought that as where i got it from but my doctor said that isnt where i got it, since i only had one small lesion.. he says i have had it for a while due to the small size of my outbreak ( a lesion the size of a pencil eraser), but that upset me even more. I dont know who i could have gotten this from. where i could have gotten this from.. I only had unprotected sex with two people. one that i was with for three years n thought i would marry.. the other is the man i am with now and have been w for almost two years.. Other than that I have been completely safe and careful. Both men I was with were tested and are clean.. but I suppose if you dont have a lesion, that a swab test for STD's would come back negative most of the time right? Idk.. It makes me even more scared to wonder where it came from. Im scared itll come back again. I dont want to give it to my boyfriend, even though he said it doesnt make him love me any less n that well get through it. he says that if i give it to him that we'll work through it, but i love him soo much, i dont want him to feel the pain and dejection that i feel almost every day... My doctor said that without a lesion, it is still possible to spread genital herpes but the likelihood is very rare.. my boyfriend still performs oral sex on me and I want to make sure we're both protected.. what should i do to kill any possible germs on or around his mouth after he goes down on me? Use listerine? I have no idea and feel ignorant for not knowing but idk who else to ask.. I feel alone... I have only noticed that one original lesion, although i may have mistaken others for an ingrown hair? Please let me know what to do. I dont want to spread it. I naturally pee a lot and am always washing my hands with soap and water and my hands are soo dry theyre cracking, even though i put on TONS of lotion all throughout the day.. I want to tell my mother to seek solace and comfort but i am worried that she will react the same way that I did when I was diagnosed.. that I am dirty and damaged.. My doctor said I cant give it to my parents since it is spread through skin to skin contact, but i feel until my mother is thoroughly educated, that she will reject me, and make me feel even worse about it.. I know a lot of people feel this way.. I dont know where else to turn, thats why i went on this website to talk to people going through the same thing... I feel so alone even with my boyfriend by my side sometimes.. he has helped me a lot but I wish i knew someone else with this disease... please help..

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Answers (2)
ForensicDoll, Community Member
1/30/11 5:23pm

I have genital herpes and i have had it since july before I even turned 18 in August and its not fun stuff.... But if I was you I would watch out for when your boyfriend goes down on you because even though you may not have an outbreak your skin still sheds down there and can cause him to get it in his mouth and thats something you prolly dont want to happen... I have asked my doctors a bunch of questions about my disease and they have gave me some good advice but nothing can get rid of those germs I'm sorry hun..... But it is tough living the life of having genital herpes because some of the guys I have dated have not been supportive of me and my disease because they have downed me real bad bout it and you need to count your blessings that your boyfriend is staying with you though this because it is very hard and its not easy like some people think... if you need someone to talk to you can message me on here and we can talk bout it more......

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alan, Community Member
1/24/11 8:29am

I have herpes and I am an engineer who works for the largest STD dating and support site STDslove. com. I have to tell you a secret, you can choose not to believe me. But the truth is that this site has more than 1,880,000 members and about 80% members are good looking in my estimation.

Unfortunately, STD rates soar worldwide and most people with STDs don't even know that they have them. The government should grant more money for STD education to lower the rates of STD transmission.

 

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looking for help.., Community Member
1/25/11 11:35pm

that sounds like a good idea.. but i need information :( i want to make sure i dont spread this to anyone.. although my small outbreak is livable.. i know that all people react differently with it and i dont want anyone to feel the way i do.. do you have any answers for my original post?  I feel as though im a hazard to myself.. i dont have any lesions at this time but i feel like i cant even touch down there at all.. im paranoid that any touch can spread it to anywhere on my body or to an object that i will touch later and reinfect myself.. :(

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By looking for help.., Community Member— Last Modified: 03/13/11, First Published: 01/23/11