Monday, September 01, 2014
Monday, September 29, 2008 Mattie, Community Member, asks

Q: I just found out I have Genital Herpes & have had months of unprotected sex with my boyfriend

This is so sad. After 17 years of marriage without sex, my husband left. I met a "Christian widower" very active church member on line from out of town, he was my knight in shinning armor; we dated 2 years almost every other weekend we were together, vacationed together I assumed marriage was forthcoming. Sex was incredible at last. Then he broke the news we should date others and he started wanted to use a condom and strange phone calls at his home and he admitted talking to a couple of them, etc.. We broke up, and now I have been dating a very nice man in my neighborhood for 6 months and we actually do plan to be married. I just this week found out I have Herpes which I am 99.44% sure came from the ex-boyfriend.

My new boyfriend & I have had a lot of unprotected sex even oral. Are we to assume that by now he has it too and just continue like we have been. The test cost me $988. We hate to spend another $988 to test him also. Far more sad is the fact that we are in our sixties and never dreamed any such thing as this would have ever come into our lives. We certainly would not want our children, grandchildren or anyone else to know.

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Answers (3)
mee mee, Community Member
10/23/08 11:43pm

I don't know why they charged you so much, but you can buy the test at a drugstore or online. Or you can be tested, without paying,  at a free health clinic.

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singlemom1081, Community Member
9/29/08 8:59am

Mattie-

 

Wow....sorry to hear about this but I know how you feel because I too have gential herpes that I contracted from an ex-boyfriend who I found out was messing around with other girls. I have not been in another relationship since finding out. Even though I know you said it cost a lot for your test although Im not sure why because most health plans should cover it, but he definitely needs to find out for sure because there is a good chance he does have it but then again he may not and you need to find out asap...if he doesnt have it then you all will need to make efforts to prevent him from catching it because you can always give to him even when you dont have any symptoms or outbreaks. And even if he does have it, you both still should be using protection so that way you are both protected from getting an outbreak when you dont want it. Im sure you would rather not have outbreaks than to get having them because you dont use protection, just because both of you may have it doesnt mean you want to keep having outbreaks that will prevent you from being able to do things together until they heal, plus for some the outbreaks can be very painful and unpleasant. I hope you can maybe talk to your doctor and do some research on how he can take the test without paying so much. Hope everything works ot for you both. Take care

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mee mee, Community Member
10/23/08 11:42pm

I don't know why they charged you so much, but you can buy the test at a drugstore or online. Or you can be tested, without paying,  at a free health clinic.

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By Mattie, Community Member— Last Modified: 07/13/11, First Published: 09/29/08