Thursday, February 16, 2012
Sunday, October 26, 2008 kelsee asks

Q: Whats the best way to tell someone u have genital herpes?

I met a guy...we slept together and used protection...then I found out my ex has genital herpes. I went and got tested and it turned out positive. I never thought I'd have feelings for this guy but I do and now I dont know how to tell him I have GH especially because we've already slept together. Advise?

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Answers (2)
10/27/08 4:01pm

Hi kelsee,

 

Thanks for posting your question.  A lot of people experience the same anxiety you're having about telling your partner.  But you'll quickly find out that it's not such a big deal, most people won't reject you because of it, and the more you tell partners the easier it gets.  I wrote a couple SharePosts about what I think is an effective way to tell your partner.  They are called "Setting the Scene" and "Breaking the News".  You should check them out as they have lots of details about this topic.  

 

Essentially I believe the more knowledgeable you are about herpes, the easier it is to talk to a partner about it.  So I recommend you also check out the Basics of Herpes page, the Prevention page, and the Causes and Risk Factors page.  I think after all that research, you'll feel much more confident talking to your new beau about your new disease.

 

The good news is,  you didn't know you had it when you slept with him, so he can't be mad at you about that.  You're doing the right thing by telling him you have it before you continue having sexual relations with him.  Lots of us have been through this and we know it'll work out fine in the end.  

 

Please come back and give us an update!

 

PJ

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10/27/08 6:23am

I was in the same position exactly one year ago. I told him immediatly, because since we had sex it was his business. No matter what, you have to tell him! It's really hard, but it needs to be done. Discuss with him what it is, & what you 2 need to do to prevent spreading/ contracting it. If he doesn't want to stay with you... no skin off your back. It's really helped me "weed" out the jerks. I have recently found a guy that likes me for me and accepts me with HSV2. He doesn't make me feel bad about having this disease. Hopefully all goes well for you! Also, the less amount of outbreaks you experience, the less contagious you are. 1 in 4 Americans carry Herpes. Most people don't even know they have it. Now I'm rambling, well, good luck!

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