I was told by my doctor that I have HSV 1 but she found it in my genitals. My now ex says there is no way I could have an oral herpes outbreak in my genitals. I am possitive that I can because I do. I dont know where to research to prove to him that it is possible. He has HSV1 but he doesnt have any outbreaks (sores or blisters in his mouth or genitals)that I know of. I just want the conformation from others who are living with that it is real.
Hello, you are right. I have it too. I was pretty shocked when the doctor told me and then I read about it. It is less common that HSV 1 is on the genitals but it can happen. The upside (or so I've read) is that the symptoms tend to not be as severe (in general) because HSV1 usually originates orally rather than in the genital area. Keep in mind everyone is different though and symptoms are experienced differently by everyone. If you google search "HSV 1 vs. HSV 2" there is a very comprehensive site that explains the differences (http://herpesonline.org/hsv1vs2.html ) . I found it to be very helpful. I, like you, was very confused when I heard the news from my doctor. But trust me, it's possible, and you are not alone. If your ex has HSV1 orally (even without symptoms) he could have transmitted it to your genitalia through oral sex. I'm no expert by any means (i've very new to this too) but I hope that helps.
It's very true. I learned the hard way. The guy i got it from denied it completely, so i took him with me to my doctor and had my doctor explain it to him. His mother even asked me to my face if i had cheated on her son and gotten herpes somewhere else. I lost my virginity to that guy, and he had HSV 1 in his mouth, hell i'd even seen him have cold sores...but we just never did anything when he had cold sores. Get a pamphlet from your doctor or something for him to look at because you are absolutely right.
HSV-1 and HSV-2 do the same thing to your genitals...from what my doctors have told me and my experience from having been diagnosed with HSV-1 in my genitals almost 4 years ago. I have only had 3 outbreaks total in that time, according to my doctor HSV-1 is just as serious to have in your genitals as HSV-2 it's just slightly less uncomfortable because it is less likely to cause frequent outbreaks. But outbreaks hurt like hell. If it is painful for you to urinate or if the "zit" becomes many "zits" get it checked out soon so that you know whether you made a mistake or got lucky.
There is hope,
Life is looking bright, 3 years after being diagnosed with HSV1 on my genitals.
Like all of you, I was very suprised to have contracted it in that area. I can't recall out of the 3 sexual partners I've been with apart from my current boyfriend, which one may have transmitted it to me? I used protection with all of them, but some may have given me oral sex. I saw no signs of cold sores on them either.
Anyway. I've been with my current boyfriend for 2 1/2 years now and things are great. I was honest and told him of my condition, having 2 outbreaks early in my diagnosis. I said I would understand if he didnt want to persue the relationship (even though i'd be heardbroken if he ended it) but he didn't. He loves me and we enjoy a really healthy relationship. We started off having protected sex with a condom, but since then he has been fine with us having unprotected sex. I have not had a severe outbreak in about 2 years, just a small, manageable spot since, that cleared up quite quickly after taking the preventative oral treatment Valtrex for a few days. My boyfriend has been tested for the HSV1 virus twice now, once only 2 weeks ago, and he hasn't contracted it at all from me, dispite having it myself. I just make sure I am not experiencing an outbreak at the time of intercourse.
I have also been told that outbreaks of HSV1 are less severe, and also less contageous. I just think you need to be sensible and look after yourself...If i'm at all feeling run down, tired or sick...I just make sure I start taking preventative medication early and more frequently, and i've found its worked very well since.
Life goes on, Herpes should not cripple your life. If at all its made me a stronger, more sensible person and more aware of STDs. I give good advice to all of my friends now. Its so important to wear a condom with new partners!
It's good to read about someone else who has had a wonderful relationship despite having contracted herpes from a previous partner. I've only been with my current boyfriend for 6 months, but the day we started dating I drove home that night and heard "Move Along" by the All-American Rejects and it made me think that if it were my boyfriend with herpes I'd want to know before it would crush me to feel like I'd been lied to. So i got home and immediately called him, and I said "Hey because you are interested in pursuing a relationship with me you deserve to know I contracted herpes from my first serious boyfriend." and I was absolutely shocked when he said "So what? I'm a cuddler before anything else anyway and I'm interested in dating you." I was instantly sobbing from the shear weight I felt lifting off of my shoulders when he said that.
Now I'm honestly like a part of his family. I go to the library and run errands with his mom and nephew. Heck his nephew won't let me leave without a hug and a kiss goodbye.
Oh you have no idea how good it feels just to know that I didn't get the last good man left in the world. I had really begun to hate myself until I met my boyfriend. I had honestly dropped out of college after a suicide attempt and was in group therapy going to rehab meetings for all the things I'd been doing to numb myself from facing the "dirtyness" i felt every day. I paired up with a member of my group therapy to go to AA meetings with and she had a neighbor who had never had a girl who didn't cheat on him and she introduced us...at Christmas this past year I gave her a card thanking her for being my 'fairy godmother' and 'helping me find my prince charming.' and so far since it's been happily ever after. Life may not be a total fairy tale...but I'll settle for just the fairy tale ending.
Congratulations on finding love that transcends the stigma and terror that is so commonly associated with herpes.
I feel like you do. I got HSV-1 from my 2nd boyfriend who I really cared about but found out later he was a jerk and it hurt me a lot to find that out. He didn't give me HSV-1 on purpose. I honestly didn't know you could give someone herpes through oral sex but now I do. The guy I've been with now for 2 months, we've been talking about sex and I felt he had a right to know about it. I told him and he didn't act mean or anything. He just asked me everything about it and I told him what my doctor told me which was unless I have an outbreak its going to be very rare that I could pass it on to him even if he performed oral sex on me which is wonderful. I'm just having trouble with the guilt and shame. I feel like he will look at me differently now someway even though he says he won't. He's the most wonderful person I have met in a long time and I don't want to loose him. He told me God put him in my life for a reason whether it be to fall in love with me or help me and support me through this tough time. Its Christmas time and its the first year without my grandmother and being diagnosed 2 months ago and its hard this year around the holidays. I'm filled with shame and will feel ashamed when I see my boyfriend again. I had HPV 7 years ago. My doctor said that my body had pushed out the virus and its completely gone and she had me get the Gardasil shots and told me that it would only be 50% effective since I had already had HPV. I've never had cold sores ever. I now know that you can get herpes from going down on someone who has cold sores. I've been very informed about everything and my boyfriend loves me, its just a lot for him to take it at one time and I understand he may need time to deal with everything. I'll wait on him because he is worth it and he told me that I was worth it and he won't stay away because he loves me and wants to have a relationship with me and I broke down crying when he told me that. It made me feel so much better. I hope next year some of the pressure I feel and hurt and shame will go away and I'll gradually come to terms with it.
Thank you so much for this wonderful post. I have genital HSV-1 which I got from a partner with a cold sore. It's been very hard on me emotionally as I'm single and looking for someone serious. Your post made me feel much better.
I'm wondering when did you tell your new partner you had type 1 genitally? Before you had UNprotected sex together? I would certainly tell a future partner before we had unprotected sex, but I've been very concerned about scaring away potential future partners by telling them about my genital type 1 too soon, esp since outbreaks are so rare. If I don't have outbreaks, always use condoms, am on Valtrex and we don't have oral sex, is it ok for me to wait until I'm sure someone wants to have a serious relationship with me before disclosing this? So many people have hsv-1 orally and don't ever disclose it so I'm confused when to disclose if I have it genitally.
I have the same thing you do and my doctor told me that unless I have an outbreak my boyfriend can go down on me and have sex with me without catching it. She said it was a very rare possibility he would catch it because she told me that HSV-1 of the genitals is very rare to pass on to someone even with an outbreak. Which makes me feel better and my boyfriend feel better to know what the statistics are. We both love each other and he is aware of my status.
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Here's a confusing scenario that I'm involved in.
So, a girl I was hooking up with got sun burnt on her lips one day. the next night we hooked up, she did not perform oral sex on me however, I may have on her, and the following morning, (stupidly) we had unprotected intercourse... and at that point she had a couple small cold sores on her lips, I'm assuming HSV-1. So, naturally a couple days later i had a cold sore on my lip. and about a week later I see what looks to be like a potential zit on my genitals and it's really freaking me out. I plan on getting tested and I'm praying it's only HSV-1...if anyone who reads this know's what theyre talking about and can provide me with some insight, let me know.
Thanks,
Pretty Ignorant