Sunday, May 27, 2012
Saturday, August 30, 2008 Kandy asks

Q: If a girl has genital herpes and has sex with her boyfriend will they be able to have kids w/o it?

 Ok,

So basically my boyfriend and i have been going out for 8 months now and he knows that i have genital herpes, and someday we want to have kids. Well, if we've already had sex without a condom but only a couple of times recently and if he has it now, i want to know if sometime in the future if we decide we want kids, is it possible for us to have children withought passing it on to them because he has it now and wouldn't that mean that his sperm would be infected with it or would it somehow be possible for us to have kids without it? I would just like to know if we could give our kids a normal and disease free happy life.....  thanks for listening and thank you for your time.

                                                                        Sincerely,

                                                                              Concerned for future children

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Answers (2)
8/30/08 10:21pm

Kandy, 

I'm not a doctor, but the short answer is yes.  There are plenty of informative websites that will have all the information you need to know regarding living with herpes and having children.  The only way you can pass it on to your child is if you're having an outbreak at the time of labor/delivery.  No doubt you have come to know when outbreaks are coming on, and you should discuss them and their frequency with your OBGYN now, and if you don't have one, when you become pregnant.  Herpes is only transmissible through skin to skin contact, so if you are having frequent outbreaks near the time of delivery, you will likely be able to have a C-section, thus avoiding the infant's skin touching your affected area.  

Also, it is possible that your boyfriend has not contracted the virus from you yet, and it is therefore important to communicate what an infection could mean to him.  Some cases of herpes are severe, both physically and psychologically.  He may love you to the end of the earth, but until a cure is developed, herpes, like children, is for life.  I don't want to sound like a downer, but relationships come and go...just look around.  You know personally that casual sex with herpes is problematic, and if both of you are young (and I assume you are), herpes will stick in the back of his mind every time he looks at a woman.  It's unfortunate to live with this type of infection, but if you communicate with each other and take precautions when it comes to sex, you can enjoy yourselves and future children too.  

I hope this was helpful in some way...do take the time to look up genital herpes online.

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8/30/08 10:45pm

One more thing: Herpes is not found in semen. It is a skin infection by a virus.  Once the virus has found an opening in the skin, usually around the genitalia, anus, mouth, it enters the nerve fibers and stays there.  Various things can trigger an outbreak...stress, friction from sex, etc., at which time the virus "sheds" by making its way to the surface in an attempt to infect others.  You can give him the infection on his mouth if he performs oral on you during an outbreak too.  

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By Kandy— Last Modified: 12/25/10, First Published: 08/30/08