Just five days shy of February and Heart Health Month, my best friend and lawyer suffered a sudden and massive heart attack.  Efforts to stabilize him and provide emergency cardiac intervention were unsuccessful.  He left behind a wife and two children and a hole in the universe of friends and family world-wide.

Paul had a cousin in every port.  Seriously, no matter where we traveled he would run into "another cousin."  He was a Brooklyn boy transplanted with his wife to southern California.  He lived everyday with a passion and just some of his hobbies included reviewing mystery novels, collecting first editions, wine collecting, playing tennis, volunteering and giving lots of legal advice to family, friends, and clients.  My problem?  He didn't apply those same "taking advice/taking care" principles to himself.  Our ongoing friendly banter would include his giving me career advice (almost daily) and reviewing my media contracts, while refusing or rejecting my growing concerns for his health.

Paul's dad died of a heart attack at age 41.  Notwithstanding the fact that heart disease is the #1 killer of both men and women, Paul is the guy we health professionals worry about.   These are the guys (or gals) with a strong family history of heart disease to start with.  They may remain asymptomatic for much of their short lives.  They don't get serious cardiac testing so that there is a baseline of information and follow up testing - there's never the time.  Then there's the mounting stress that comes with providing for a family, working in a pressure cooker of a top notch law firm, not finding the time to see a doctor regularly, eating the wrong foods at all those lunchtime business meetings and fitting in exercise only when you can.  Paul was also a recent victim of the bleak economy - his firm had collapsed due to misappropriation of funds by one of the senior partners.  So with mounting bills, mounting stress and poor lifestyle choices at play - he was also seeking new employment at age 54.  It was just too much. 

I found out after he died that he had a physical warning sign the prior week, during a weekend doubles tennis game.  He became seriously short of breath and stopped playing.  Instead of friends demanding he seek medical help immediately or forcefully taking him to an emergency room to get checked out - the incident was never seriously addressed, and his wife was not told.  I blame his friends - I would have forced the issue -  but at the same time - Paul made his own damning choice of denying this health scare's significance and worrying..... about everything else.  Could have..should have..would have... we all think we'll get a second chance because we hear so many stories of hope, of miracles.  Many times, we don't.  So this magical guy named Paul did not get his "do-over."  He ended up in a top notch medical facility last Tuesday and the resuscitative efforts of a team of 12, including an excellent cardiologist, were unsuccessful.  This guy who loved Rice Krispy treats and making Sunday pancake breakfasts, black and white pastries and the Yankees, Broadway musicals and orange Nikes - was lost to a disease that was lurking in his family history and then enabled by certain lifestyle choices.