In addition:

I feel the recent therapist was all talk-he gave me no advice.

I was left holding a truth with no shopping bag to contain it: to know I'm driven is one thing-to tell me it's a dual-edged sword as well as a gift-so then how do I change, is the answer to be less driven or can I find a happy medium between obsession with work projects and simple passion?

I have not yet figured out how to reconcile this ambition.

It has come on like wildflowers in recent years.  In my twenties and early thirties I took adult education courses and bumbled about with no direction in sharp contrast to today.

Now I have a day job, a second job in my not-so spare time, and a third job on the side.  I'm a writer who needs a platform so estimate I can't quit any of this until I'm 51 and have published my books.

That's a six-year window.

Forgive me if lifestyle has nothing to do with heart disease because I wonder if it does.

Zoe