Even though I started having a few issues with my gut in high school I was fortunate that they didn't affect my day-to-day life. I dated, traveled, went out with friends, did what I wanted when I wanted, ate what I wanted to eat, and generally lived life thought-free.

In my mid-20's I started having a few more gut symptoms pop-up. I couldn't drink more than 2 or 3 alcoholic drinks at a time without risking being up all night on the toilet. And there were times when I'd be struck with overwhelming abdominal pain and nausea that prompted my doctor to prescribe Compazine for me. While it helped the pain I had a very bad reaction to the medication that landed me in the emergency room.

Pretty much, my gut issues were infrequent blips on the radar screen of my life and I just didn't think much of them. That is until about a year after I got married at age 29. If you've read my book, Living with IBD & IBS: A Personal Journey of Success - www.ibdandibs.com - then you know the story I'm about to tell. But for those who haven't read the book, it boils down to this: after being married for a year and moving from Washington, D.C. to the mountains at Lake Tahoe I started experiencing terrible bouts of diarrhea that would last for days and days. I lost my appetite, I lost huge amounts of weight, and all the travel and hiking and road trips and dinners out and journeys with friends became more and more difficult to participate in.

My husband became convinced that us being married was causing the problems and therefore, he must be the problem. It all came to a huge head when I got so sick during a trip to the Caribbean that I could barely get on the airplane to go home. My husband was frustrated, scared, and concerned, but as can happen in times like this he got angry and told me to figure out what was making me so sick or he might actually consider leaving the marriage.

I loved my husband and I knew he was not the cause of my gut issues. But, I did agree with him that the problem was out of hand and I needed answers. When I got back to the States the first thing I did was make an appt. to see a gastroenterologist. Within a month, after many tests, I had the answer I didn't want, but did. I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, just like my dad, and with Irritable Bowel Syndrome, like my mom. I wasn't happy to be diagnosed with a chronic disease, but I was happy to be able to prove to my husband that he wasn't the cause of my problems. Over the next months I learned how to live with my illness. I changed my diet radically, as well as my job, and my lifestyle.

No matter what kind of relationship you're in - dating, living together, or married - changes like this will affect both people. So, while my husband didn't necessarily have to change his diet he did for me. And when my gut would act up when we were trying to go out or travel or have sex, he was able to be more patient because he understood it wasn't him.