The Emotional Side of IBD

Elizabeth - I hear you!  There are times when I also wonder if my UC and its side effects on my social life will ever affect my relationship with my husband, and I often wonder how long he'll put up with it (and how he has so well to this point!).  Even when I'm feeling okay, I always scope out the nearest bathroom, just like you, and I get totally paranoid and all worked up if one isn't easily accessible.  This has definitely cut down on my going out!!  I'm lucky for the fact that I started having problems before we got married, in fact about 6 months before he proposed, so he can't say he didn't know what he was getting into.  But when I do start to wonder, I know deep down that it really doesn't bother him too much, and if it seems like it does, it's really just because he's concerned about me - physically and emotionally.  And I'm sure that's how your husband is too!!  Don't let those awful thoughts bother you - they'll just stress you out and make the UC worse!!  Good luck

Hi Elizabeth!

I'm so very glad you decided to pick this topic and share your feelings with us.  From time to time I reminisce about the times B.C. and wonder what I would have become or done had my ambitions not been interrupted by Crohns.  I think that was one of the most difficult emotional challenges IBD presented me with, learning that I had limitations and having to accept that fact, for I too was in a high pressure, high power job.  I remember trying to explain to a coworker to whom I had confided in about my condition and telling her that we take for granted the usual things we normally do everyday like eating and pooping.  We normally shouldn't have to give those actions much thought if any, but with IBD that changes. 

I also found that, in the work environment especially, being secretive about IBD caused more stress than when I started getting comfortable opening up about it when asked.  My first three years with IBD I couldn't even bring myself to say Crohns without getting teary eyed and I kept it all shamefully inside which probably made me worse.  I'm not shy about it anymore and acknowledging it is very freeing.  You are very right about living with IBD rather than in it. For me, the key for living with it came when I finally accepted IBD as part of my future and that perhaps I needed to rexamine my goals or ambitions and live a more authentic and meaningful life. It's taken a long time and a lot of trial and error and continuous reassessment that without the support of my husband would have been even more difficult.

Reading about other IBD sufferers helps validate what we go through, because without that it's quite easy to start to question one's own sanity and rationalization. As always, thanks for sharing!

Sondra