The Top Ten Ways IBD Has Changed Me

#10-I used to think that "Culturelle" was a moisturizer for dry, chapped hands and flaky elbows.

# 9-I thought "probiotic" described members of the Republican Party.

# 8-Despite my liberal nature, I have come to terms with the fact that I'm not a bad person just because I'm lactose intolerant.

# 7-I've learned that there actually are some definite advantages to being growth delayed-getting the "IBD rate" at the movies is one of them!

# 6-I can say, "COLONOSCOPY" three times, fast-it's a terrific ice breaker at parties.

# 5-I lay awake at night, mentally compiling lists of famous "colons." (Colin Farrell, Colin Firth, Colin Powell, Bartolo Colon, Semi-colon...)

# 4-I can internally compute the fastest direct routes between restrooms in any land in the Magic Kingdom.

# 3-"How many times did you go today?" seems like an entirely reasonable question to ask during dinner.

# 2-"Four; but, they were a lot firmer than they were yesterday," seems like an entirely reasonable answer to give during dinner.

And,

# 1-"Bathroom humor" has an entirely different meaning to me now.