Ok, nothing works, now what?

By Branwyn Saturday, January 05, 2008

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Hi all.

This is my first time at a support group for incontinence. So here is my story.

I've been dealing with incontinence ever since I was a toddler(I'm 26 now). I've had tons of tests done (cystos, bladder evals, urodynamics) and everything seems to be normal. I've tried meds, but they don't help. Physical therapy doesn't seem to help either.

I'm really at the end of my rope here. I'm so disgusted and ashamed about my problem. And I hate to sound corny, but this problem has functioned as a "chastity belt" for me. I've had to end relationships simple b/c my problem is so bad that I am incapable of physical intimacy.

Any insight or advice would be greatly appreciated. I can provide more details if necessary.

Thanks,

Branwyn

Comments (8) | Add comment

Danielle

1/ 6/08 11:42am

Hi, I'm a 37 year old mother of three. While I didn't have incontinence until I I was pregnant for the first time, I did have UTI's since I was two. It kept me from having sex sometimes because I was always afraid I'd end up with another UTI. I still do worry but the incontinence is what bothers me more now. I had sling surgery on Dec 26th to fix the fact that my valve doesn't close and it really made the situation worse. I used to worry, like you, that when I would have sex that I would leak. Thankfully my husband is understanding and he doesn't mind if I were to leak. You just need to find the right person that is willing to support you and understand the embarresment that you feel. Once you find that right person, I'm sure you will start to ease up on your worry. Good luck!

Maria Gifford, Editor

1/ 6/08 10:42pm

Hello, Branwyn. Welcome to our community.

Here's some information for you:

Stigma and Incontinence

http://www.healthcentral.com/incontinence/c/45/1653/stigma/1/

Online Dating for People with Incontinence

http://www.healthcentral.com/incontinence/c/45/11476/dating-people/

There are many people to connect with here. I'm glad you've found us.

Best,

Maria

Branwyn

1/11/08 12:57pm

Thanks for the links and kind words. I'm trying to find some sort of treatment, but it hasn't been easy.

A sling procedure has never been suggested for me, which is good, since it doesn't seem to be all that effective.

In terms of dating and sex, it'd be different if it were just an occacsional leak. That's wouldn't be so bad, but it's much more severe than that. It's more like a constant dribble. Worse in the morning.

Laurie

1/18/08 2:44pm

Hi,

I can't remember the name, (i think it is Enuraid) but there is a homepathic remedy by Hylands you could try. It is under $10 so it is worth a shot.

Laurie

JEFFERY WOODARD

3/15/08 1:35pm

HI I AM JEFF I AM 47 IN APIRL AND I BEEN IN DIAPERS FOR 12 YEARS NOW , EVER SINCE I GOT AN OPERATION I MY STOMACH AREA, I BEEN WETTING MY BED AND PANTS EVER SINCE , I DO NOT CARE ANYMORE IF PEOPLE KNOW , I HAVE HAD TOO MANY ACCIDENTS WERE EVEN MY DIAPERS HAVE LEAKED BIG TIME , SOMETIME I DO NOT WEAR DIAPERS , I JUST WALK AROUND IN WET JEAN SPECIALLY AFTER , I HAVE REALLY SOAKED MY DIAPERS SO I TAKE THEM OFF IN THE RESTROOM AT THE MALL AND SO I NOT WEARING A DIAPER THEN BUT BEFORE I GET BACK TO MY CAR , I HAVE A BIG WET SPOT ON MY JEANS AND IT IS RUNNING DOWN MY LEG, SEE I HAVE ALLAGES TOO AND YOU MUST DRINK ALOT OF LIQUIDS WITH THOSE MEDS , AND I WET MYSELF OFTEN, IN FACT I AM WET RIGHT NOW , I GO THRU ALOT OF DIAPERS, SEEN DOCTORS AND THEY GAVE ME A MED I THOUGHT WAS GIVING ME A HEART ATTACK ,COZ I HAD PAIN GOING DOWN MY ARM AND I SPENT 9 HOURS IN EMERGENCE ROOM ,YEA THAT WAS FUN , SO I DECIDED I WILL JUST STICK WITH DIAPERS AND WASH COTHES ALOT WHEN THEY LEAK

Branwyn

4/24/08 2:00am

I'm so sorry to hear that. What type of operation was it? Has your doc ever considered an ostomy? I know that's severe, but in your case, it might be less embarrassing.

All the best.

JEFF

9/30/09 11:43am

YOU MIGHT WANT TO TRY A PHILIPPINO BABE , I DID AND I AM ON MY WAY OVER THERE IN FEBUARY 11 , AND MY GIRL UNDERSTANDS AND EVEN TOLD ME SHE WOULD TAKE CARE OF ME IN MY OLD AGE , COZ I AM 22 YEARS OLDER THAN HER SHE IS SO ADORABLE , SHE IS FROM LEYTE, PHILIPPINES , I AM MEETING HER IN MANILA, PHILIPPINES ON THE 13 COZ IT TAKE ALMOST A DAY TO GET THERE. TAKE OFF ON THURSDAY AND LAND ON SATURDAY. I SPENDING 6 DAYS THERE AND TRY TO GET HER A VISA TO GET HERE SO I CAN SHOW HER AROUND AND MARRY HER .

JEFFERY

1/18/10 11:52am

I WET MYSELF TOO AND I FINELY FOUND MY GIRL IN THE PHILIPPINES SHE IS SO SWEET I WAS JUST STRIGHT WITH HER AND I KNOW HER AUNT TOO COZ SHE WORKS AT THE SAME WALMART AS I AND SHE INTRO TO US AND I AM GOING TO THE PHILIPPINES FOR THE SECOND TIME THIS FEB 11, 2010 SHE IS 22 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME I AM 48 , WOW SHE IS HOT .AND ALL MINE

Ok, nothing works, now what?

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