Hello everyone,
This is a long post, but please read and respond. I am a 25 year old male and over the past few years I have been slowly developing both fecal and urinary incontinence due to IBS and a Pelvic Floor Muscle Disorder. I take lots of Immodium and Lomotil, I eat very well, and I don't use any mind-altering substances (not even caffiene), but nothing seems to work. My doctors are all completely baffled. I've had EVERY test possible (colonoscopies, sigmoidoscopies, defecographies, MRIs, CAT scans, DREs, bloodwork, allergy tests, etc).
Currently I am having a very difficult time coping with the uncertainty of whether or not I can cope with losing continence. The nature of my illness is that I am never able to fully empty my rectum, so diarrhea and mushy stool is CONSTANTLY attempting to leak out. I find that I can maintain continence only by squeezing tightly and sitting down (sitting puts enough pressure on my rectum to prevent anal leakage). This is exhausting physically and emotionally.
Because I've never actually lost full control of a bowel movement, I haven't been able to emotionally accept incontinence. I simply live in constant discomfort and fear that I will soon become completely incontinent. I can either live a live of standing and physical activity that will cause me to leak stool, or I can live a life of sitting and perpetually pinching back stool to maintain control.
I have a college degree and a 3.9 GPA, but I am SO frightened of losing control that I feel emotionally and physically incapable of working any job that requires any standing, physical activity, or much responsibility. Whenever I'm feeling bad, I can barely hold back my tears. I've spent my early twenties crying myself to sleep while living at home with my mother.
Does anyone have any career advice or hints on how to emotionally cope with the beginnings/onset of fecal incon?
Does anyone else have accidents only when standing or lifting?
Should I just accept that I'll have accidents and become more physically active or should I do everything possible (including limiting my activities and career options) to maintain fecal control. I feel SO lost. On the outside, I'm a tattooed punk rocker with tons of supportive friends and family. But inside, I'm a frightened little boy who still lives with his mother. Somebody please help me....
I'm so sorry to hear about the difficulty you're having with
fecal incontinence. As a twenty-something person with IBS, I can relate to you on some small level, but as I don't have fecal incontinence I can't relate fully - I apologize for that. I will try, despite my limited first-hand knowledge, to give some advice.
First, career-wise: I'm not sure what field your interests and studies lie in, but I can assure you that with the age of technology in which we live, there are an abundance of home-based jobs that you might want to seek out. There are even office-based jobs where you could sit and work on the phone, which would still provide a good deal of interpersonal interaction. I believe you mentioned that you're into "punk rock" - perhaps you could start-up a small business specializing in designing websites or graphic materials for up and coming bands, all of which could be done sitting in front of your computer at home. You're clearly a well-spoken and educated young man. I'm certain there is a perfect job out there for you.
Second, about the emotions: I always recommend to anyone going through a difficult medical challenge such as yours that they may want to consider setting appointments with both a psychologist and a psychiatrist. Most likely, they will both have different approaches to providing you with coping techniques, and you can decide which, if any, you'd like to try. There is no
shame in seeking professional help. Most of us have learned the hard way that when the car starts making a funny noise, it's best to take it to a mechanic sooner than later, because the mechanic has been trained in how best to deal with the problem. The same is true of our emotions - if you're having a
difficult time coping, making decisions, and basically functioning as a happy and fulfilled adult, you may benefit from the expertise of someone trained in the field of emotions.