I just got back from a family reunion on the Gulf Coast and, while I've just had Botox injections into my bladder to control my urge incontinence, I still have to deal with stress incontinence, which the Botox does not address.
As most of us know, the summer heat and humidity makes this more uncomfortable. Here are a few tips I've learned for dealing with these issues:
Cleanliness. It's important to wash and change as pads become wet, or as practical. Even a small amount of dampness can be a problem this time of year. I generally use plain soap with no perfumes or deodorants. I don't have particularly sensitive skin, but sometimes these can be very irritating. I am careful to rinse off all traces of the soap to prevent drying.
If my skin does become chafed or irritated, I wash only with copious amounts of warm water, not using any soap, even for my bottom. It's important to remove all traces of urine and other irritating matter, as bacteria will convert it to ammonia, which smells. If no wash cloth is available and I have to use something like a baby wipe, I will rinse these in water first, as even unscented wipes can aggravate irritated skin.
No powder. I'm sure I had my diaper area powdered as a baby, but I've learned the hard way not to use it. This may seem counter-intuitive. However I have learned you can't put enough on to absorb all the wetness, and it just turns to a gooey mess if you do. Also, some powders contain menthol, which, trust me, you don't want to use on chafed or irritated skin!
Ointments. I've tried a variety of ointments and diaper creams to help when I do have chafing. For me personally, I have found ointments without zinc oxide are better. A&D ointment seems to works best. I have used "butt paste," but found it was somewhat sticky and messy. Udder cream works, too.
I only use ointments when I need them, never on a regular basis. After bathing and drying thoroughly I will apply a very thin layer, to keep wetness away from my skin, and to promote healing. You may have to experiment with different ones to find what works best.
Pad size. It's important to use enough protection, but not too much. It is also equally important to position it correctly. Some pads don't have enough adhesive (like the one I use), so I supplement this with a glue stick. The glue is water soluble, and so is removed when my clothing is laundered.
Personally, I usually don't need a thick heavy pad or diapers. But I don't want anything to be visible through my clothing, so I have opted to use a pad which is very thin, but somewhat wide and long. It always extends between my legs, and if I don't position it correctly, part of it extends even further. If I have had a heavy day of leaking and can't change until I get home, it is long enough that it wicks urine under my bottom. I have more chafing in this area than I do my groin, mainly because of the pressure from sitting most of the day.