Diapers and Bed-Wetting: Stigma and Ways to Reduce It

  I think that the use of diapers to manage bed-wetting in older children,adolescents,teenagers,and adults is another example of a management technique that is not fully accepted by most medical professionals and the public. Just like Naomi Judd had the courage to try alternative approaches to manage her disease people must have the courage to use alternative methods to manage bed-wetting.

  I think we need to reevaluate our attitudes on diaper use for older bed wetters for two reasons. As mentioned previously in some cases the pull-ups and “Goodnites” aren't as effective at protecting both the youngster and the bed. The second reason is that it makes the person who has no other option but to wear diapers to bed feel they are somehow inadequate. This in turn can lead to feelings of low self-esteem,low self-worth,and subsequent depression.

  In going over the literature and opinions of many professionals regarding diaper use in older bed wetters one thing sticks out in my mind-the status quo has a negative opinion of diaper use. The literature and opinions are very consistent regarding this issue-most people believe you shouldn't keep a bed wetter in diapers past the age of 4 or 5.After that the majority of people feel you should use pull-ups or “Goodnites” only.

  It's my firm opinion that we have a double standard regarding this particular form of incontinence. For instance we seem to have no problem with the use of diapers for developmentally disabled children,the elderly with incontinence,and people suffering from disorders such as cerebral palsy,multiple sclerosis,Alzheimer's disease,Parkinson's disease,or other ailments, but if you suggest putting an older child,adolescent,teen,or adult with a bed-wetting problem in a diaper people think you're barbaric and should be driven out of town on a rail. What difference does it make who suffers from incontinence or why-it's still the same problem and it still needs to be managed. In some cases the best way to manage it is by using diapers.

  There is a saying that goes something like this- “Nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so.” While this is not the case for everything-torture,murder,rape,and stealing are inherently bad-there is nothing intrinsically shameful about wearing diapers to bed. Wearing diapers to bed after the age of 4 or 5 is considered shameful because we have been conditioned to think this way for years. It would be interesting to see how other cultures feel about this issue but unfortunately I suspect they feel the same way we do. From what I understand the Japanese,British,and most Europeans are even more uptight about this issue.

  Custom and fashion dictate a lot of our behaviors. For example there is a custom that says it's not appropriate to wear white shoes and pants after labor day. The author Stanley Schmidt talks about the influence of custom and fashion on our behavior in some of his writings. In one editorial of his he discussed something he calls “phantom tyrants”. According to Schmidt: “These are impersonal forces that presumably originate with identifiable actions by individual people but then take on a life of their own and continue to dictate people's behavior whether or not any individual would independently choose them. We commonly know them by such names as “custom” or “fashion.” ” The example he discusses in an editorial of his called “Signs of Respect” is the custom of men taking off their hats upon entering a building. I feel that the expectation that people are supposed to stop wearing diapers for bed-wetting after the age of 4 or 5 is a perfect example of a “phantom tyrant.”