Ihave to strongly disagree with you in general. Kids from the age of about 10 or 11 on up are capable of managing the situation, or at least learning how to manage it. The whole point to letting them make the choide on their own as to whether they want to wear protection, and what to wear, is all part of giving them a sense of independence and maturity. I do think that there are certain rules/guidelines that need to be set up, and followed. If you've read some of the posts on sites like the Goodnites site, there are teens who are forced to wear protection for bedwetting and even worse, parents who insist on putting diapers on them because they have trouble putting them on themselves to where they are effective. Kids do have difficulty "seeing two feet beyond their noses" to understand the consequences of their decisions. They also tend to have a somewhat distorted view of the priorities. Many tend to be more worried about getting caught with some sort of protection on than they are about the consequences of what would happen if they didn't wear the protection in the first place - that their friend(s) would still find out that they had a problem with bedwetting, or incontinence, and would also have the embarrassment of having wet their clothes and or bedding in front of them. I think part of what you have said is true, and that is that the parents do need to be there to set the guidelines, and be there to support and guide their child as their child requests it. Many kids who have started wetting as teens, or had stopped earlier and then started again as teens, are often times embarrassed or afraid to tell their parents. Sometimes that can be because their afraid that their parents will force them to wear some type of protective garment. While to adults it would be common sense to do this, as I said before, teens have a different take on it. I'd like to share an experience that I witnessed quite a few years ago with my neice. I was out one time with my sister's family when I got to see the two kids demonstrate their rock climbing skills. They were both "tweens" at the time and my neice was climbing in an area where there were already anchors in the rock face, but the bottom line is that the locations where the anchors were based on the size and capabilities of a much larger adult (probably male). Well, the point to all of this is that she got stuck at one point, and got real frustrated. Her parents kept her in control of the situation, and kind of guided her by asking questions to get her to consider other options. The bottom line is that she made it to the top essentially on her own. Bear in mind that she always had the option to stop and come down, but she didn't. Now I know it's not bedwetting, but the concept is the same. The kids have to be in control of the bedwetting situation, and they need to take care of the situation what ever decisions they make about whether or not to wear protection, and if they do, what type. What things do need to be absolutes are that mattresses, and if they are sleeping somewhere else, carpets, other furniture, etc. need to be protected. This is not only a potential health issue, but out of courtesy and respect to the others involved, and lastly that they are responsible for properly taking care of the situation. This means not hiding bedding, clothing, or protective garments under the bed or in a closet, but dealing with them as needed. Where the parents come in is in the fact that that because they are older, can often have a more realistic view of the "big picture". They can be there to support the child, and help them work out the best way to deal with the problem. If a child is making what the parent thinks is a bad choice, they can make suggestions and hope that the child takes them up on it. As long as the child is taking care of this in an appropriate manner, and maintaining proper hygeine, you can't compare it to something like a decision over whether or not to have a cast on a broken limb, or something of that caliber. In short, your talking about apples and oranges. A child won't necessarily get sick or have a detrimental consequence of not wearing protection for bedwetting as long as hygiene is maintained. Now there is another thing here and that's the issue of daytime incontinence or control problems. Here, there may be requirements of a school or school district for kids to wear protection if they are having daytime accidents, and this really can be considered a public health issue. For kids to manage this themselves with the support and guidance is so empowering. That's a key part of helping them deal with it and not feel so different.

Colin

12/ 1/08 8:58pm

   Hi guest,

 

               You certainly raise some interesting points and I realize what I've said is controversial to many people. Most people it seems are of the opinion that the youngster should decide whether or not to use protection and if so what type.But you mentioned several things that just prove my point: "Kids do have difficulty "seeing two feet beyond their noses" to understand the consequences of their decisions", "They also tend to have a somewhat distorted view of the priorities", and "Where the parents come in is in the fact that because they are older,can often have a more realistic view of the picture."

 

  Many people associate parents requiring their youngsters to wear diapers to bed as punishment.I feel this is primarily due to the image diapers have as being "babyish" What I have stressed in this particular post is communication between parents and older children and teenagers about wearing diapers for bed-wetting.What you said about parents making suggestions when they perceive their youngster to be making a bad choice and hope they act on those suggestions is great in theory but in practice it can have a negative effect.I also don't feel the analogy about wearing a cast and diapers is all that far off the mark.Both of them are used to manage a health problem and while it is true that a child won't get sick from not wearing diapers to bed,I believe that hygiene is not maintained by foregoing diapers.It's not good for a person to lay all night in urine soaked bedding

 

  Setting aside hygienic concerns for  the moment their could be detrimental psychological effects of not wearing protection.There's the feeling of not being in control-diapers at least give a person the sense that their problem is being managed whereas laying all night in cold,soaking wet bedding and pajamas gives a person a feeling of helplessness.

 

  To get back to what you said about hoping the child will make a good decision I feel that most children are so emotional where this issue is concerned(and with good reason-this is a very delicate issue due to the stigma associated with bed-wetting and diapers) that their decisions will be guided more by what they perceive the image of diapers to be and not whether the product in question will offer them the best protection and thereby provide them with a good night's sleep.

 

  If anything the child is acting more like an adult by wearing diapers to bed because they are taking responsibility to manage the situation.I would stress to them that many adults wet the bed and even though it might not be that pleasant,they wear diapers to bed also.It seems like we're trying to make kids into adults  at a younger age and while it is good to give them more responsibility as they get older so as not to infantalize them,my opinion is that kids at that age don't have the experience and expertise in this area that adults do.If I had a child who wet the bed and he or she wanted to wear a product that I knew was not effective I would get them to wear something that offered them a better night's sleep.I wouldn't be cruel about it-I would gently explain why I am having them wear a specific type of diaper and would implement a reward system to encourage them to wear the diapers to bed.

 

   I do see your point of view and I would be interested to see what others have to say regarding my ideas. It is good to discuss these things to gain a better perspective on the situation.Thanks for your comments.I think I'm going to write a share post that addresses this issue in more depth.

 

                                       Colin

 

 

Anonymous

12/ 2/08 7:08am

Well, what you have said this time sounds a bit more like we are at least somewhat in agreement. This is though, where the education comes in for the child and sometimes the only way for them to learn is the hard way. If it is in their own bed and that bed is not being shared with someone else, then there should be no reason why they should be forced to wear protection, other than any issues of an odor problem. There was another young man who posted here who has no problem with wearing protection as he needs to do so 24/7 for bowel and bladder problems. Yeah, he said he got some hecklinig etc. but there were many more kids who supported him. Not only that but he was a football player as well. I still think that kids shouldn't be forced to wear protection in their own home unless they are sleeping somewhere other than their own bed. Yes, parents should guide them and even encourage them to wear protection, but the bottom line is that as long as the kid can take care of it themselves, they should be doing it and with that have the right to make the choice for themselves. I've read other stories elswhere that tell of kids who were reluctant to wear protection because they didn't want to get caught wearing it. When they finally did decide to wear protection, things got much better when they realized how much easier it was to deal with only a wet garment than all the bedding etc.. The other benefit they realized was that if they didn't have time for a shower, they didn't need to take one in the morning, that they could clean up with a washcloth. Now with that said, there's no reason why a parent can't insist on them trying on protection at least on a trial basis, and it's usually then that the child begins to understand the benefits. The analogy between the cast on a broken limb and wearing protection is a valid one as not treating a broken limb can have serious consequences including pain and the possibility of permanent damage, whereas not wearing protection to bed in their own bed, is likely only to cause discomfort. You talk about the psychological aspect of wetting their beds. You say: "Setting aside hygienic concerns for the moment their could be detrimental psychological effects of not wearing protection.There's the feeling of not being in control-diapers at least give a person the sense that their problem is being managed whereas laying all night in cold,soaking wet bedding and pajamas gives a person a feeling of helplessness." The sense of not being in control, as you put it, has to do more with the wetting itself whether or not they have protection on. Remember that your urine is sterile unless you have some sort of infection in your urinary tract, bladder, or kidneys. The whole point to this is that kids in the tween and teen ages need to start learning to make decisions for themselves and have to learn to follow through with what ever that decision brings about. Sometimes even adults will only learn the hard way. This is where the support and encouragement from the parents comes into play. This is where they need to help their child understand the choices and what the consequences may be of those choices. The bottom line here is that for the most part, especially with teens, if you put your foot down on something like this, they may just fight you more, and may rebel. By supporting them, guiding them and letting them make decisions like this, you are actually empowering them which can do a great deal for their self esteem. You are correct in that kids won't always make a good choice partly because their view of things is distorted, and this is where education, and compromise come into play such as having them use the protection on a trial basis.

anonymous2

6/26/09 4:44am

Its quite easy to tell that you have a diaper fetish my friend. No other rational person would come up with the arguments you make.

I was a child of the courts, my foster parents used diapers and plastic pants on me from the age 9 till 15,when i was younger my aunt and uncle would tye rubberdands aroun my penis for long periods of time, this caused my bladder and prostate from doing there job.diapers and plastic pants were used as punishment for wetting at night, to this day i have bladder problems, i till wear diapers i would rather have been treated more like teenager then a baby because it dint stop ther bottles,pacifiers,wearing to school for shame

kinney

9/29/09 12:12pm

where did they get the daipers to fit you at the age of 15

Bedwetting runs in my family. My dad was a bedwetter into his teens, as was I, and both of my children (a boy & a girl). Now, my daughter is dealing with her 8 year old daughter wetting the bed. From my personal experience, the disposable diapers just do not work, for any bedwetter who sleeps on his/her side, as there is NO absorbent material in the sides. Disposables leak out of the sides. Thus, the old fashioned cloth diapers are the best solution (with plastic pants over it). Cloth diapers are more comfortable than disposables. If the bedroon is hot (no air conditioning during hot weather), some companies sell waterproof pants made of a gore - tex or nylon material, which is cool and breathable (plastic pants can build up heat inside of them, resulting in sweating). "Dura - tex" is the brand which I use (as a grandparent, I am once again dealing with bedwetting, having a damaged bladder nerve). I also have regular plastic (cheaper than the gore - tex) pants to use over my diaper during cooler weather.

Eliza

10/23/10 3:52am

For me disposables work fine. I have no idea if I wet sleepning on my side or not. At the other hand I am not a heawey wetter.

 

I cant stand cloth diapers and plastic pants, they are hot, unconforfortable, wet and itching.

 

I am in diapers at night and at daytime when not at home and I am mostly on the run, at work, traveling, hotels, friends.... and in these situations cloth is far to much complicated.

 

There are booster pads to be used in a disposable and I asume it will work even for heavy wetting.  

Lawrence

10/28/10 1:00pm

I wear diapers day and night and my bed is allways soppy every morning.What helps me the most is my cloth diapers and rubber pants.

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