Parental Decisions Regarding Bed-Wetting and Diapers

By Colin Sunday, December 14, 2008

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How this ties in with bed-wetting and wearing diapers to manage it is in the following manner: by not wearing the most effective protection (or not wearing any protection at all) the youngster is in effect demonstrating that they're not acting in a responsible manner which to me is being childish. I would tell them that to a certain extent it's more babyish not wearing diapers to bed. I would also tell them that part of being an adult is choosing the best way to manage a problem which sometimes is not necessarily the most pleasant one. Most adults are also reluctant to wear diapers but they realize it's in their own best interest to do so and although it might take them considerable time and effort to make this adjustment,in the end the majority are able to get used to wearing the diapers. Many times in life we have to choose the lesser of two evils. In the case of bed-wetting the lesser of two evils is wearing a diaper as opposed to waking up in soaking wet pajamas and bedding.

The qualities of being responsible and choosing the best course of action given the circumstances are some of the hallmarks of being an adult. In addition it makes an individual feel in control of the situation thereby improving the individual's self-esteem.

How is lying all night in wet clothes and bedding or wearing a diaper that leaks being in control of the situation? On the contrary, by lying all night in wet clothes it reminds the person that they're not in control. As mentioned previously people have different levels of incontinence. In addition the incontinence might effect them in different ways-some people sleep on their sides and have problems with side leakage,some people wet more than others at night,etc. Due to these differences people require certain types and brands of diapers otherwise they wouldn't manufacture such a wide variety of products. Wearing the most effective type of diapers to bed whether pin-on diapers and plastic pants,tape-on disposables,or other products makes the user feel more in control of the situation and helps the person feel more self-confident. This in turn will improve the bed-wetter's self-esteem.

I wanted to clarify where I stood on this issue. I was under the impression that some people might think that I'm callous because of my stance on this issue. Nothing could be further from the truth. I look forward to any comments regarding this or any of my other articles. It's good to have constructive dialogues regarding this issue. Many people have preconceived ideas concerning this matter and I hope my articles might make some reconsider some of their basic preconceptions on this topic. We as a society have overcome many of our prejudices and have matured where many subjects are concerned. For example there is less stigma surrounding mental illness and other diseases. Hopefully in time there will be less of a stigma surrounding using diapers to manage bed-wetting with older children,adolescents,teenagers,and adults.

Older Children,Bed-Wetting,and Self Diapering

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Comments (8) | Add comment

Maria Gifford, Editor

12/15/08 1:58pm

Colin,

Very helpful information - thanks much.

Best,

Maria

megan

12/26/08 10:49pm

Please consider trying a bedwetting alarm to cure nightly bedwetting. They can be very effective. Often 3 months of consistent use leads to a lifetime of dry nights. My child wet the bed every single night - sometimes more than once a night. He used a bedwetting alarm and in less than two months, he went from wet every night to dry every single night. It does take a bit of patience in the beginning. Usually the child will sleep right through the alarm and the parent must wake the child up. But within 3 weeks my son woke up to the alarm by himself. And in only 8 weeks he became dry every night. the website www.braveryandgrace.com has a bunch of positive information about bedwetting. I really hope every parent struggling with a child's night time bedwetting strongly considers resolving it by using an alarm. It is the best decision i ever made. It really wasn't as difficult as you might think.

wetbeth

1/27/09 11:17am

I would have a caution regarding the alarms. I slept in diapers until I was in my teens having tried and failed with many cures. My mother finally got me an alarm and it did work in regards to learning to get up in the night and going to the bathroom. I think Colin may be onto something, because I really didn't think there was a problem until I got married and my constant waking in the night was a disruption to my husbands sleep. Against his advice a found my old diapers and plastic pants at my mothers house and started weariing them to bed and skipping the bathroom. I was amazed how quickly I reverted and now both of us sleep through the night and feel better. I wasn't even aware of how my sleep was being disrupted until I went back to diapers.

I think the alarms can cause a bad sleep pattern which is much worse than wearing diapers. I'm surprised someone hasn't studied this, it seems they study everything else.

K N K

1/ 3/09 6:53am

I agree with Colin's points and he does make some good ones. Also Megan's note about alarm use raises a couple of good points to. We are in favor of alarm systems and have tried them in the past and have not met with the success that Megan did. That does not mean that we will not go back and try it again after a period of time.

The things we would like to underscore here is that no matter whether you are using an alarm or disposbales or cloth with the plastic pants it is absolutely necessary that the child be 100% included in the whys, hows and wherefores of what's being done and how it will help them.

We have 2 bedwetters and have been using cloth and plastic pants for a while. Last summer and early fall we tried an alarm system with our oldest and found that they were not ready for this yet and so after discussion between us and the child it was agreed to return to night diapers for awhile and try again later. Just getting through the holidays with all of its added business made both of our wetters feel better about the holidays. we have and continue to talk with them about bedwetting and wearing diapers and they are comfortable knowing that this to will pass when their bodies are ready. In the meantime the use of diapers and plastic pants is kept as low key as possible for everyones comfort.

megan

1/27/09 3:44pm

My post is not to say that an alarm is the solution for everyone, but i do find that many many people dealing with bedwetting do not even know about the alarms. I also believe it is important that parents and children agree on whatever choices are made to deal with nightly wetting. I talked with my son about the alarms and told him to let me know if he wanted to try it. About one month later he asked to try using an alarm. And after 2 months he was dry every night. He was very motivated, although i did make him promise if I spent the money on an alarm that he would use it every night for at least 3 months or until he was dry 14 days in a row. A few times he fussed about wearing it, but when i reminded him that he had promised, he relented. It was really only about the 4th week when we saw real progress. But it went very quickly after that to dry all night.

As far as the concern that an alarm brings on a bad sleep pattern, I feel that it was just the opposite for my son. He was a very deep sleeper. But i truly think it was an abnormal sleep. Before we used the alarm I would describe his personality as ornry and easily frustrated. He didnt look people in the eye when he talked to them, mostly looked at the ground. After he used the alarm and began to stay dry all night, i noticed a distinct change in his personality. He became much more self confident. I believe that he had gone for years without normal sleep and that he was actually exhausted much of the time. I think about how ornry i can be when i am sleep deprived. Once his sleep pattern was more normal he became a much happier person.

Of course the frustration of wetting the bed was behind him so the lack of stress may have been a factor as well.

I wish everyone dealing with nightly bedwetting the Grace to handle it in whatever way works best for them.

If you are considering using an alarm get the books Seven Steps to Nightime Dryness and for children Prince Bravery and Grace -Attack of the Wet Knights

I think the books really helped make the process easier.

JEFFERY WOODARD

2/11/09 11:19am

THE PARENTS NEED TO FIND THEM FRIENDS THAT HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM SO WHEN JOHNNY WETS SUEIE WILL NOT MAKE FUN OF HIM COZ SHE DOES THE SAMETHING AT TIMES AND JOHNNY FEELS EXCEPTED AND SO DO SUEIE RIGHT

COZ THE OTHER KID THAT DO NOT HAVE THE PROBLEM ARE JUST MEAN .

JEFF

3/ 9/09 11:37am

PEOPLE BED WET ALL THE TIME , BUT IT IS A TABOO SO ALOT OF PEOPLE WILL NOT AN MIT THEY ARE BED WETTER UNTIL YOU ARE MARRIED TO ONE AND YOU WAKE UP IN A WET BED COZ YOUR PARTNER DID NOT TELL YOU SHE DOES THAT AND DID NOT WEAR A DIAPER TO BED , SO YOU ARE SHOCKED AND SHE IS EMBAROUSED, NOW WHAT , I KNOW NOW , PLEASE WEAR A DIAPER TO BED THANK YOU XXXOOO TELL HER IT WILL BE ALRIGHT SO ON ANYTHING TO CALM HIM/HER DOWN, REMEMBER THE REASON YOU ARE MARRIED IS YOU ARE THEIR BEST FRIEND AND DO NOT LET IT BREAK YOU UP, I DO NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THIS COZ I TOLD MY GIRL FRIEND IN THE PHILIPPINES THAT I DO WET THE BED AND I WILL BE WEARING A DIAPER 24/7.

JEFFERY

3/ 9/10 11:38am

I DO AND I THINK WHEN I WAS YOUNGER MY PARENT SOULD OF PUT ME BACK IN DIAPERS COZ I HAD ACCIDENT EVEN IN HIGHSCHOOL , NOW THAT I LOOK BACK AT IT , I HAVE ALWAY HAD A WEAK BLADDER , BUT AFTER MY OPERATION ON MY STOMACH WHICH WAS A BIRTHDEFT, I AM NOW IN DIAPERS 24/7 ANYWAY. IF NESSASARY WE SOULD MAKE THE TEENS OR YOUNGER THAT HAVE TO WEAR DIAPERS AGAIN MORE REASURING THAT IS ONLY A TOOL .

Parental Decisions Regarding Bed-Wetting and Diapers

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