Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Older Children,Bed-Wetting,and Self Diapering

 

  I had covered this issue briefly in an earlier sharepost. This issue concerns me and that is why I felt it needed to be covered in more depth. On this website and others I have read about parents and babysitters diapering  older children with bed-wetting problems. Some of these children are 9 or older. As we all know bed-wetting can be very stressful and in my opinion this stress can be exacerbated by parents not letting their child put on their own protection. By no means am I a childcare expert but my intuition tells me that above the age of 3 or 4 a child should be taught how to put on their own diapers.

 

  As mentioned in a previous post I had a friend who had to babysit a 6 year old. She was telling me that she had to diaper the child before he went to bed. Due to his age I assumed he was potty trained and that the reason he wore diapers was because of a bed-wetting problem. She told me that he went running through the house naked and screaming and refused to let her put the diapers on him,which I can't say as I blame him.

 

  I do believe that an older child,adolescent,or teenager should wear diapers to bed if all attempts to cure it have failed and if other garments such as pull-ups and “Goodnites” don't offer adequate protection but I also feel that the youngster should be responsible for putting on their own protection unless they have some cognitive and/or physical disability that makes it either difficult for them to do so or prevents them from doing so. Diapering an older child has the potential to drastically effect a child's psychological health for years to come.

 

  There are certain tasks that can be accomplished by youngsters who aren't cognitively or physically impaired including tying one's shoes,putting on one's clothes,etc. Diapering one's self in my opinion would fit into this category also.

 

  If the parents are concerned that the child might not fasten the diapers correctly thereby causing the diapers to leak the parents can show the child how to fasten the diapers correctly. One way of doing this is to lay the diaper on the bed,have the child sit in the diaper,and tell them how to fold and fasten the diapers properly. I would do this when the child is young because the older the child gets the more embarrassed the child will feel. This is a very sensitive area for children. Many bed-wetting children feel self-conscious and embarrassed about wearing diapers to bed(although as I have pointed out many times they shouldn't be) and having their parents diapering them will make them feel even more self-conscious and embarrassed. Also bed-wetting makes many children feel helpless and by parents diapering the child it reinforces the feeling of helplessness. That is why children should be taught to be independent in this are as soon as possible.

 

  As far as pin-on diapers are concerned some parents are afraid that the youngster might stick themselves with the pins. This is certainly a valid concern but if appropriate precautions are taken this shouldn't be an issue. I was talking to someone in customer service for a company that sells pin-on cloth diapers and plastic pants for older children and adults with bed-wetting problems to get her take on the situation and she told me that at the age of 7 or below the parents might need to fasten the diapers,above the age of 7 it would depend on the child's development. I believe the same steps taken with disposable diapers can also be taken with pin-on diapers. Again the parents should lay the diapers on the bed,have the child sit in them,and teach them the correct way to fasten the diapers. I can't emphasize this enough-children need to be taught at a young age how to be independent in this area.

2/ 9/09 6:08pm

As usual, Colin is right on. But I think also that a parent continuing to diaper an older kid can be a bit punitive, a way of expressing displeasure regarding the continued wetting. A not very helpful power game.

 

My Mom called it 'creative shaming'. Every night until I was almost thirteen I had to submit to the humiliating ritual of being powdered, pinned into bulky cloth diapers and then being put in plastic pants, usually by her, but sometimes by someone else. Also the timing was at her convenience, so it wasn't always just before bed.

 

If it was meant to help me stop wetting, I think it had the opposite effect, because I'm still in diapers at night, but with a bit more privacy.

Anonymous
K N K
2/17/09 7:15pm

Getting diapers on an older bedwetter should not be in anyway punitive.  Cloth diapers and plastic pants are used in our house for bedwetting and it is handled with the utmost respect to the bedwetters.  It is done in private and is meant to keep their beds dry and for them to remain comfortable in spite of the wetting.  Simply  being with the child for this time send them a comforting message and as things are being readied the child generally is understanding of why diapers are being worn and that they are not babies or being babied because they wet their beds.  When all is ready then it is simply a matter of pinning, or velcro and the plastic pants.  Once done the pj's go on and then they are free to do what they wish until bed time.

 

No child should be shamed just because they wet the bed.  They can not help it as they are asleep and in our case it's a deep sleep that causes the bedwetting and so having the diapers on makes a bad situation much better for the kids and the parents.

 

2/10/12 11:31am

Hello,

         I agree with you completely.  Margaret.

2/10/12 11:33am

Hello,

         I agree with you completely.  Margaret.

Anonymous
Stewart
3/25/09 6:15am

I have seen people use an ordinary pillow as a training aid to show how to affix diapers,the pillow is laid on the bed long ways and this represents the upper and lower abdomen withot arms/legs/head etc.The diaper is then affixed around the lower end using the corners of the pillow to represent where the legas are,and as the average pillow laid this way is not much smaller than an average abdomen it works really well and doesnt cost a penny or any embarresment trying to obtain a maniquin!

 

Hope this helps,Stew.

10/ 2/09 4:30pm

Since bedwetters are generally deep sleepers I recommend using a bed alarm. That worked for me growing up. I found this link with some posted here: http://www.vitalitymedical.com/vitalitymed ical.storefront/4ac527cd0044e9e7271dd8b190 2c06eb/Search/Display

Anonymous
Margaret James
2/10/12 11:24am

Hello everybody,

                      I have boy 13 staying with me who is from a childrens home, I took him under my wing when my eldest boy moved out a couple of years ago.       He had a traumatic experience at onetime as most have at the home, hence the reason they are there.  Some have been affected by this and have bed wetting problems which included the boy I am foster mum to, others who bedwet had other problems.      The  matron in charge said the male nurses diapered the boys who bedwet, female nurses the girls as obvioulsy they did not share the same  dormitory   , disposables were used mostly.     

 I prefer cloth type diapers/nappies/plastic pants at night if I have some available otherwise its disposables,  he cannot pin them properly or fix the tabs on the disposables properly as he never did it at the home, so as they droop/sag when wet hence I have to fix them.      Maybe with patience he will eventualy get the hang of it, otherwise I may have to get some pull-ups, but understand they are not as absorbent as proper diapers/nappies.    To sum up,  I understand the "stigma" if thats the right word to use of diapering older kids, but in some cases you have to.     Margaret.    jmargret96@yahoo.co.uk  

If anyone would like to comment, the middle A is missing in my address        

2/11/12 6:14am

Although our days of dealing with bedwetters has passed, I might be able to offer you a couple of tips to help the 11 yo with the diapers.  First using cloth and plastic pants was, we found, the most reliable method for keeping the bedding dry throughout the night.  There is a bit of a learning curve that goes with them and it has to do basically with the amount and type of padding necessary to insure the bedwetter being comfortable.   My first suggestion would be to get everything ready and have the diapers folded together and lay them on top of the bed.  Have the boy lay down on them and pull them in place without you in the room.  When he has done this have him call you and you can go into the room and pin them so they are snug and then you can leave the room and he can put the plastic pants and pj's on and be ready for bed.  The second is to fold the diapers together in thirds lengthwise.  Have him put them inside of his boys briefs and then pull the plastic pants on and pj's. 

We just treated the diapers matter of factly and we had no issues with wearing them and they also learned that wearing them kept the surrounding bed clothes drier more reliably than pullups.  Between the time the first bedwetter started wearing them and the second one got out of them was probably a little over five years and during that time if there were a total of a dozen leaks that was all.   Making sure the padding is sufficient and the plastic pants fit properly are the most important parts of using cloth diapers and plastic pants.  Making sure the bedwetter is comfortable with and in them is also important.  Good Luck.

 

2/15/12 5:45am

Hello "KNK",

                  Thank you for your tips.     I have been diapering kids (mostly boys) for some years now so think I have got the hang of it by now.  LOL   (No offence itended.)

    Some accept it with a nonchalant attitude some  are more indeterminate so obviously you have to treat each case differently.                                            Yes he can pull-up the plastic pants by himself, its just the sort with press studs at the side I have to assist with as he is too rough and has pulled the studs out of the sockets.         Margaret                       

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