One of the most important things a parent has to do is to put yourself in the child or teenager's place.He or she already feels ashamed about wetting the bed.By putting him or her back in diapers they feel that they are regressing and that you are mad with them about the wetting and therefore trying to punish them.By taking a gentle approach you help them realize that you understand how they feel.Plus by approaching them in a gentle way you are more likely to be able to convince them of the merits of wearing the diapers to bed.
The ultimate goal is to get them to realize that the advantages of wearing the diapers to bed far outweigh the disadvantages and the best way to accomplish this is to be gentle and empathetic.I think that part of the problem is that many people think that the qualities of being gentle and firm are mutually exclusive-that you can be either one or the other but not both at the same time.Nothing can be further from the truth.
There are many tactful and delicate methods that parents can use to motivate their older child or teenager to wear diapers and plastic pants at night.With the right approach you should not have too much trouble convincing your child or teenager to wear diapers to bed.In addition there are many examples of self-talk(as the psychologists say) that people can use to make themselves feel better about wearing diapers to bed.
I discuss some of these tactics in more detail in my posts-"How to Discuss Enuresis or Bedwetting with a Child", "How to Encourage Older Children and Teenagers to Wear Diapers and Plastic Pants to Bed" ,"How to Deal With the Stigma of Using Diapers to Manage Bedwetting", "Bedwetting,Diapers,and Dignity","Bedwetting,Diapers,and Parental Attitudes", "Diapers,Bedwetting,and Shame", "Using Diapers to Manage Nocturnal Enuresis",and "You're Never Too Old to Wear Diapers to Bed!"
All of these posts offer suggestions and advice on how to deal with an older child or teenager who is reluctant to wear diapers and plastic pants to bed and how to cope mentallywith the thought of wearing diapers to bed.In addition the post "Advice About Types and Brands of Diapers to Wear for Bedwetting" offers advice on what types and brands of diapers and plastic pants to use for nighttime protection.Both that post and "How to Encourage Older Children and Teenagers to Wear Diapers and Plastic Pants to Bed" are meant to be read together.
As I said a parent has to be gentle but firm with the child or teenager.For instance parents can say something along these lines-"We realize you are not too keen on the idea of wearing diapers and plastic pants to bed but just remember that you only have to wear them at night-no one else knows that you have them on.If you broke your arm or leg you would have to wear a cast.No one likes wearing a cast but they have to in order for their bone to heal.A diaper is like a cast for a broken bladder.You might not like wearing one but you have to until your bladder heals.There are plenty of people including adults who are in the same boat.We also realize you might feel that we're treating you like a baby by putting you back in diapers,but you must understand that we're not doing this to punish or humiliate you.It might not seem like it now but we only have your best interests at heart-it's not good for your health(not to mention the fact that it's uncomfortable) to lie all night in wet clothes and bedding."
I've heard some parents say that if a child or teenager is reluctant to wear diapers to bed that's okay but if they do refuse to wear them they should be responsible for washing the wet sheets and clothing.As I see it there are two things wrong with this idea.
First off I personally think that sends the wrong message to the child or teenager.I believe that sends the message that it's okay to lie all night in wet sheets and clothing.This is very unsanitary and by not requiring the child or teenager to wear diapers to bed you are sending the message that it is okay to be unsanitary.
Children and teenagers should be encouraged to develop sanitary habits whether it's washing their hands after going to the bathroom,before dinner, after playing outside,or when they have a cold, or wearing diapers and plastic pants for a bedwetting problem.As I said before it's bad for the skin to lie all night in urine.
By not protecting themselves and the bed a child or teen is absolving themselves of responsibility for managing the problem.Let me give you an analogy-if you had a cut and were bleeding would you do nothing about it and let blood get all over the place? Of course you wouldn't-you would put on a band aid.Why should it be any different with a problem like bedwetting?A diaper is the equivalent of a band aid for bedwetting.
Another good analogy is the following-when it's raining outside you wear a plastic raincoat or take an umbrella to keep you dry.If you want to protect yourself from the rain why should it be any different with a problem like bedwetting?
Would you let your child go out in the rain without a raincoat or umbrella?The diapers and plastic pants should be viewed no different than wearing a raincoat.The bottom line is that people don't like getting wet and wear waterproof clothing to prevent that.
The second thing wrong with the attitude of "well if they don't want to wear protection it's their choice,but they should be responsible for taking care of the wet bedding and clothing" is the following: it's more of a hassle for the child or teenager to wash a bunch of wet bedding and clothing than washing diapers and plastic pants.
I would say to them something along these lines-"Don't you want to make things easier on yourself-it's less work washing diapers and plastic pants as opposed to washing a whole bunch of wet bedding and clothing"
I personally have no problem whatsoever wearing diapers and plastic pants to bed. What people should realize is that there are people who suffer from painful and debilitating psychological and physical disorders. There are people who have to spend their whole lives confined to wheelchairs, hooked up to dialysis machines, iron lungs, other medical equipment, etc.
If all a person has to do is sleep in diapers and plastic pants a few hours per night (which only you and a few of your loved ones realize) I think you should count your blessings.
When people consider this I believe it puts wearing diapers and plastic pants to bed in perspective. I realize that what I say might seem controversial-but I hope it motivates people to think about diapers and bedwetting in a whole new light. I would be interested in finding out what others have to say regarding my ideas.
Addendum to current post-I wanted to add some additional information to the current post.Since I wrote this post I received some feedback from one of the readers who suggested that it was a form of child abuse to force a child to wear diapers to bed.
I wrote a post in response to this called "Bedwetting,Diapers,and Parental Attitudes" which goes into this in a little bit more depth.There is some overlap between that post and the present post but I thought my readers might be interested in that post as well.It clarifies where I stand on this delicate issue.
