This post is part of what inspired me to LEAVE this group a month ago: it hit too close to home. A month later I'm a bit more self accepting, but it still hurts: one org said I'm "not really incont" because the cause is (mostly) emotional. That's fair, but at the same time I've faced severe emotional and physical consequences.

I don't mean to be melodramatic. It's simply this: I've been using pads for years, and briefs off and on for about a year, and doing so allows me to live a much fuller life than I can when I try to pretend that I don't need them.  Medically I'm (mostly) fine, but my "urine loss" continues and worsens despite efforts to fix it: am I incontinent? 

I'm not saying that my issues are the same as those of someone who's medically incontinent, but  I am saying that emotional trauma can cause ui-type symptoms, and that _some_ of the resulting issues are similar, regardless of the cause: the shame and the expense hurt, and I would not handle it this way if there were an easy alternative. There isn't. I hate it.

I feel like I'm hit from all sides: many of the same emotional and financial costs of incontinence, without the legitimacy of saying that the cause is medical and therefore facing additional financial and emotional costs. Whiplash. So if I can't even explain it to others, I also have trouble dealing with it myself, regardless of the of the real urine loss and other physical issues. That, too, feels like whiplash.

I'm sorry, I guess I'm just overly sensitive. 

Matthew 

Anonymous23

5/22/09 7:45pm

A year 1/2 later my issues haven't worsened, really, but haven't improved, either: emotions are still my biggest battle, I'm still neither incont nor not. I don't mean to whine, but it does hurt emotionally.