Adult Enuresis

By Catbird707 Saturday, November 29, 2008

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My son is 21 years old with primary enuresis. He's taken the pills (and I'm sorry I can't remember the name anymore) and the nasal spray when he was a kid. At one point in his mid teen years he decided he had enough with taking any pills and abruptly stopped and refused to take any more. If he sleeps lightly or or a short period of time (4-5 hours) he won't have a problem. I think trying to do this over the years has really disrupted his sleep abilities. He did get relief for a period after two visits with a hypnotist. At that point, he entered the Army. He didn't have any problems for a while, but then again, he didn't get much sleep during basic and AIT training. When he was assigned his life base, the problems came back. As he had to share a room in the barracks with another, I don't doubt he roommate(s) were aware of the smell. Through a semi-unrelated accident, he got out on a medical discharge involving his shoulder and is now living here at home. He occupies our upstairs which has two rooms and a full bath. The smell coming down the stairs is pretty strong. He insists on doing his own laundry but if he leaves it in our laundry room for a while, I'll toss it in with some products designed to remove urine protein and smell from clothing. He has yet to get his drivers license, no job, no schooling, and stays upstairs most of the time. He's very social with us and we go to stores together, he helps with groceries and cooking. He is so very intelligent and fun to be around, but he's wasting away upstairs. He won't look up his medical insurance information from the Army, he won't wear nighttime protection, I've given him names and phone numbers of reputable hypnotists. He says "that's great" but never calls. Since he is 21 I do have my hands tied a bit, but I am so very concerned for his future. Any ideas? I do believe enuresis and depression are responsible here, but I don't know the entire story unless he tells me.

Comments (7) | Add comment

Anonymous

11/29/08 5:39pm

i thing that you should tell him that he need to get help or whear a diaper to bed or else you will have no chose but to ask him to leave if he cant respetic you enoff to do as you ask then ask him to move out

Maria Gifford, Editor

11/30/08 8:57pm

Hello,

Thanks for writing. Here's some info for you:

Adult Enuresis

http://www.healthcentral.com/incontinence/c/45/20610/adult-enuresis

I hope this is helpful. Good luck with your son, and keep us posted on how things go for both of you.

Best,

Maria

Anonymous

2/27/09 10:45am

Thank you for sharing. I decided today to once again look into this problem on the internet, although so far, your story is the best I've come up with, but no real answers. I'm going to buy different incontinence products today to hopefully reduce our water bill, (washing bedding & mattress protectors). Yes, the better quality disposable underpads will help, but it just reminds me of how much time has passed and my failure as a parent to seek answers till they are found. My son is 19, and I'm concerned for his future as well. Again, thank you for sharing, and don't give up, & when I pray about this situation, I will also pray about yours. I don't really have the right to give advice, and yet one thing that comes to mind as I read your story is that I understand you don't want to isolate your son even more by drawing attention to the odor, etc., but just as in my case, I'm going to have to make my son more responsible in this area, even though it is not something he is causing on purpose, still, he must be responsible in minimizing the effects from this problem. Too many times I have let 'it' slide because of my own not wanting to 'face it' head on. I have been inconsistant with laying out rules such as 'soiled clothes can't be left unwashed in your room' etc. It feels like I'm just going around in circles, and once again, this morning, I'm in the same place! Again, I will pray and believe God to do what I can not.

Catbird707

2/27/09 11:14am

Oh my God! You sound just like me! The smell is awful and now most of his clothes, everday clothes have this smell. I'm trying to find wash products that will help but you are right. They have to bear responsibility for this. It's affecting all of us. I hate to say this but I can't stand to be around him because of the smell.

I remembered a couple of days ago a young man that got fired at a placed I worked at in the 70s. He had a bad smell about him and nobody wanted him around, but he worked in an assembly line. I worked in personnel at the time and had to be in the room as witness when he got fired. I never forgot him because I felt so bad for him, yet there was that odd smell. Now I under if this is what it was? Do you think they get so used to the smell that they don't recognize it? Or it's just avoidance?

Has your child had these problems since childhood? Or it stopped for a while and started up again? And has he ever tried to wear incontinence products?

I'm so glad you wrote!!

Anonymous

2/28/09 10:06pm

If the clothes are washed the same day, then hot water and some pre-soaking should take care of the smell, but I do know what you mean, that yes some smell can still linger in the clothes. If there is no incontinence during the day or waking hours, then really, there should only be bedding and maybe underwear and pajamas...

I went ahead and purchased disposable incontinence products last night as well as new 'used' bedding. When my son came home from work it was an hour earlier than I thought it would be, and I was still about an hour from being finished cleaning up his room. (Just one bedroom, not the entire upstairs like it sounds you have to contend with!)

I realized a few weeks ago that the waterproof mattress covers were no longer working (worn out from daily to every other day washings). So, I bought a sheet that is nice looking, dark and lighter blue color that you would not bleach, and pillow cases to match (this was not easy to match up since I bought used and had to scramble through so many in a 'pillow case' bin. Then I bought a nice throw blanket with a sports team he likes instead of the comforters (about 3) we've been washing and ruining for I don't know how long.)

The disposable products are some men's tena 'underwear' ($1plus a piece) and a two pack special of 'underpads' that are large enough and absorbent enough...I hope!

If he will use these products, we won't have to go through all this. My water bill is close to $100 per mth and should go down enough to almost make up the cost of the disposible ( how do you spell that word?) when you add detergent, electricity, dryer sheets, bleach, time....time....frustration...etc!

I talked to him, showed him what I'd bought, and emphasized that I know he doesn't want me to talk to him about this, but that I have no choice and stressed that he needs to use the stuff and then it's very important to dispose of them properly.

There's more to my story and next reply I'll tell you about our old-man dog that adds to the problem...but unfortunately I have to work and unplanned shift tonight (to pay for what I bought last night!...kind of kidding...) so I need to quit writing this book and get ready.

Thank you for the reply! I was hoping you would write back and maybe we can figure out a way to communicate on a personal level to where we can still keep our identity private for this 'undercover operation'. (That was cute!) Maybe I'll change my id on here to that instead of anonymous...Take care, have a good evening and keep your chin up, nose plugged and pray!

Catbird707

2/28/09 10:17pm

Dear Undercover Operator (LOL!)

Please let me know how the men's Tena underwear and pads work. I'm determined to get mine introduced to this but, as I am sure you are, I want this to be a success for him.

I am so thankful for this network! Its a relief to find helpful information and ideas, plus the fact that this situation isn't so uncommon, just not talked about very much. These poor guys of ours, I can imagine if I am frustrated, how they must feel.

I hope your "finds" for your son are successful! Write back when you get a chance.

Best wishes!

Undercover Operator II

Anonymous

2/28/09 10:33pm

Dear UC2...I'm lingering here with my coffee & thought I'd go ahead and ramble on some more...Yes, it's makes me feel better knowing I have a prayer partner in this undercover mission. I just checked, and the bed and underpad is dry, and since I couldn't find a used tena underwear, I assume it was disposed of properly (as in outside trash bin wrapped well in walmart bags 1st). One successful night. Next time I'll tell you about old-man dog since I really do need to get ready for the night shift, but I will say this much...he, OMD, was not housebroken when we got him 6 or so years ago and since he was already about 7 yrs old...well you can imagine...My latest house rule which I've attempted to enforce many times b4 but caved in due to my erratic work schedule and pressure from teenagers who feel sorry for OMD having to be locked up in a doggie carrier when no one is home and now the latest rule is OMD is not to be allowed upstairs at all even when teens are here, and yes must be locked in 'cage' when no one is down stairs with him. One teen is especially angry with me and I need prayer to battle the demonic forces that are rearing their heads through my angry teens mouth and actions towards me right now.

Have a good evening and keep laughing and praying!

Undercover Operator 1

Adult Enuresis

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