I am 24 years old and am ashamed to have to wear cloth diapers and plastic pants due to incontinence. I have been told by Urologists that I have nothing wrong with my urinary tract, bladder or kidneys. I have been told by a psychologist that I have “stress incontinence,” but I don’t like the way the medication prescribed makes me feel. Are there any alternatives to help with my incontinence?
I'm sorry to hear about your struggle. It can be very embarrassing to wear absorbent products (adult diapers), but the truth is that they are a medical aid just like a cast or a sling for a broken arm.
Menstrual pads are designed to absorb vaginal discharge and menstrual blood. Products that are designed for incontinence are specifically designed to absorb urine, so you'll have much better luck using those. There are both disposable products and reusable (cloth) products. They each have different advantages and disadvantages. Factors to think about when deciding between disposable and reusable are cost, convenience, environmental impact, and health concerns such as your rash.
I'm not quite sure what exactly your rash is, but I know that skin breakdown is a big problem no matter what kind of products people use, because whenever skin gets moist it can start to break down. To help alleviate this problem, make sure that you change your products often, and look into using a lotion that is specifically designed to help the skin. Different products are made differently, and of different materials, so while you may find one product uncomfortable, another product might be fine, so keep looking until you find the right thing for you. However, products have come a long way—like this new underwear line that protects against incontinence leaks.
You may consider some personal therapy to help break through overactive bladder urges. And know that you are not alone. Several other HealthCentral Community Members also struggle with, and accept, the use of adult diapers for incontinence.
There's no need to feel ashamed about your need to wear diapers as an adult. Many people have different types of incontinence and have learned to accept and deal with it successfully and comfortably.
However, a huge social stigma does exist about incontinence, which is unfortunate, but you can overcome your feelings of guilt and shame like many others have. See:
Stigma and Incontinence
How to Deal With the Stigma of Using Diapers
Stigma in Healthcare
What's in a Name: Incontinence "Briefs" or "Diapers?"
Please feel free to connect with patient experts and other community members on our site. There are many people here who can relate and offer support.
hi im obilio,im 29 years old and i wear diapers.what i mean with this is not to feel bad about it.there is a lot kind of diapers that you can choose like tena.it doesnt have any plastic outside and they absorb very good.and you dont have to worry about plastic noise.if you have to wear them,just think about the benefist that you can get from it.your life will be more easer..i have been like you,from doctor to doctor for nothing because they didnt do anything and now i have to pay over 3,000 dollars in hospital bills.now i can go with more freedom any where since i start wearing diapers.just think that is part of your daily clothes.dont let this stop your life.
Hi Katherine, my name is Donnie Willman and I am new in here. Just to let you know I wear diapers, and have been all my life due to weak to almost no bladder muscles. I have had 2 operations and still nothing worked long term. I have accepted this, its not bad but you learn to deal with it. If you want to keep in contact you may e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org hope to talk to you soon.
Its hard to get used to incontience it still is for me too it feels like your giving up all hope if you give in and use the diapers. Since I've come here I have come to realize
there will all ways be hope you can do both and its not wrong. Ill bet your not sleeping hardly at all because your afraid you'll have another accident right? I know it, for me the lack of sleep just made the emotional and physical problems worse. I took the advice of someone here and quit trying all these contraptions in order to not feel like a baby or something and orderd some cloth diapers and waterproof pants ,its still hard to say, but what a difference no infections or leaks and I can think better because I sleep so good now.Kathrine you cant heal without sleep so the next step should probably try the diapers its ok here we understand then when you get a little better look for answers to get over it when you can think better when your ready its gona be ok. davidb
Psychological or Physiological.. it makes no difference.. if you wet the bed you wet the bed and if you do not want the hassle of washing bedding what is the problem of wearing absorbent products and waterproof over pants.. do you think you are alone or unique.. if so look in every single drug store and discount store and many mail order catalogues and Wal-Mart etc and see all the products available to assist you and the rest of us.. good luck.. give it a try and skip the guilt.. who cares..
You should not! An elder person, I was advised by another to use these, since the odour of seepage was being detected by others. Bashfully, I went to purchase some and was approached by an attendant who was not much older than you; she informed me that the products are used by individuals of your age and younger, as well as the elderly. There is nothing to be ashamed about, it just cannot be helped.
I just wanted to share that I am in a similar position: incont issues due to emotional trauma, and still fairly young.
Yeah, I can relate to the added angst....
do not worry. is more natural than you think. do not have to feel embarrassed by having to use diapers, because many people do (adults or children). one day your problem will disappear ... and use diapers is very comfortable ... kisses and best
hi there..so sorry you are a bit down in the dump on this matter,,but do not ever feel embarrased or withdrawn over the fact that you may have to wear diapers and plastic pants..I am an incontinent person where on my last job at a window manufacturing company I was at for four years I wore diapers and rubber pants always..and messed or wet my diapers a lot and in most cases both at the same time..I never knew an accident had happened till I checked my pants..and on a couple of occasions a female employee even told me that she thought I had pooped my pants and she was right,,but even then ..I was not embarrased at all that she knew I wore them or I had messed in them..live your life to the fullest ..even if in diapers..lots of young aldults wear them..and it is not a taboo..please take care my friend and ther is lots of support..do not dispair ..this is just my 2 cents worth ..hope it was helpfull
firstly, well done for not hidding behind the mix of reasons which have attributed to your stress incontinence condtion. You have taken a great step by facing it and identifying the possible causes.
I am encouraged by the responses you have had to your post, people you don't know who are in similar situation who want to help you help yourself. This is a great community.
Being incontinent happens for many reasons, and those out there who are ingnorant and who think incontinence comes with old age really need to be made aware of the facts. I am very disappointed by the attitude of your physchologist. Diapers isn't the way to go at all. You are addressing your anxiety and reasons for you becoming scared, take baby steps with this as each day will bring new challenges for you which I am sure you will cope with. Believe in yourself, don't look to the past and what happened as this will inhibit you to look to the future.
Now dealing with your incontinence. Here we go.
The phychological stress probably caused a neurological type of incontinence, which has relaxed the sphincter muscle in the urethra (the tube which passes urine from the bladder out of the body) so on any exersion or when your mind is so focused on one thing the brain forgets to close the sphincter tight enough to control the loss of urine.
It's a matter of retraining, which can be achieved. I would suggest you see a physiotherapist or continence nurse for this. With the right training you can become continent again. The physio will train you how to tighten and hold the pelvic floor muslces. There are products available on the market to help, such as cones, pessaries etc, but don't spend your money without seeing a physio first as they are the right people to recommend the right product for you. I found a product called Incostress. Its a sort of reusable tampon which supports the urethra and at the same time helps you strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. It is a medical device and can be bought over the counter in Europe and Canada. Hope this helps. Don't give up, you are too young to let this beat you.
there are also disposable diapers that you can wear. i am 42 and wear diapers.
You should never feel ashamed about your need to wear diapers.
Whether your incontinent or psychologically dependent it really makes no difference. People who are psychologically dependent basically can be viewed as another form of incontinence because these people NEED diapers just as much as those who are fully incontinent, only in a different sort of way.I know it can be tough because of the stigmas attached and its definitely far easier said than done but it is doable. The stigms attached to wearing adult diapers is gradually shifting.
Recently in Japan women have taken to wearing adult diapers as sort of a statement for equal women rights. Its become quite the trend there and is just one more step in making this sort of stigma a thing of the past.Contrary to popular belief the elderly are not the only people who need and wear adult diapers. There are plenty of kids with bedwetting problems who need to wear some type of bedwetting diaper to sleep everynight.Some kids never grow out of it and end up becoming teen bedwetters and evenadult bedwetters. Sometimes, like in your case these problems can come on unexpectedly due to tramautic psychological influences.Eventually you'll realize that no one knows that you are wearing them and even if they do all you have to do is stand tall with confidence and act like its no big deal. Then they will too.
Exactly being an Adult baby myself I am as much Psycologicaly and emotionaly dependent on diapers as a baby as any fully incontinent person or severley disabled person would be. There is no diffrence, and im glad that someone on the internet has finaly had the intelect and understanding and openmindedness to see that.
(as to the ladies question)
it is your choice weather you want to go with cloth or disposable, but from personal experiance I would say disposable is cheaper, works better and is more comefortable. Cloth has to be washed, so it harbours more bacteria and chemicals, is more prone to leaks, increases friction rash, increases nappy rash, increases yeast rash, and you have to pay for everything to wash cloth diapers which costs as much as one pack of disposables, £20 or more.
If you are in the UK you can get disposables for free, you need to be registerd as disabled and claim DLA, you need your GP to have you classed as medicaly incontinent, and you need to be referd to the district nurse by the gp to be referd to the continence nurse to receive a presription for nappies, the prescription will limit you to how many you can have per week, but will save you money.
I don't think I can help you except to say there are many others, young and old who deal with wearing diapers as adults.
I've been incontinent from prostate problems and have worn diapers 7x24 for more than 5 years. I had acute urgency incontinence and after resisting diapers for a year, I finally broke down and put myself back in diapers.
I had had a series of embarrassing accidents over a few days time where I couldn't stop myself in time and lost a lot of urine quickly. I never knew when I'd have to pee soon enough to make it to a toilet, but I could also go several days without wetting myself. It made me feel anxious all the time about further embarrassment.
Because of an extended dry episode, I stopped wearing diapers after the first month, only to experience two unpredicted big accidents. I've been 7x24 since.
With experience, comes the realization that others aren't noticing who wears diapers. When you get used to wearing them you'll figure out what works best for you and you'll begin to feel more confident and secure. I seldom have leaks these days.
To me diapers are just the kind of underwear I wear. They are comfortable and and protect me. I'm discrete and only talk about them on a "need to know" basis. When I told my urologist i'd started wearing diapers since I'd last seen him, he said I gave up too soon. He wanted me to try to retrain my bladder. I didn't want to go back to the anxiety that dominated my life for too long.t
What is wrong with being a toddler I think it would be great, and a fun experince, but we r all intitled to our own a opioion. But think u r right u r stressed or were , stress incontince, b/c i had it too. I was kid around 3-4 and i am 17 now but when i was a kid i drank a lot at night and wake up in the middle of the night needing to use the bathroom. I tried to and then my dad yelled at me so I layed back down and went to sleep. Did it so much i did not wake up at some point so i developed bedwetting and it went into my teens, but it soon get worse b/c of school. Then it just stopped and i missed it b/c when i was young i got into wearing diapers. but hopeflly u get better or u find enjoyment in it if u have not already. Wish u the best of luck.
Hi I wear terry nappies all the time I waslike you I kept getting infections and was told it could be the dispoable nappies so I bought a dozen terry nappies and plastic pants and soon found that they are better and no infections, at first I found them bulky but I am used to then now.
Oh honey, it sounds like you probably actually really need to return to diapers, considering you are wetting yourself so often and so uncontrollably. That's what diapers are for. It sounds like it's probably a better alternative than your frequent accidents, sweetie.
(I post most of the first section because honestly im afraid of being labeld a pedo just cause I wish i was 12 months old)
Ok so first I would like to point out that not only do I have genuine incontinence (complete) but im also an Adult Baby. Now I know alot of people think that being an adult baby is a sexual thing or linked to pedophilia, well for most Infantilists (the unbreler term that Adult Baby falls under) Pedophiles are people who are to be sought out and hung up by their balls, we activley work against them, reporting any pedophilic websites or activity we come across to the police. As for sexuality, around 86% of adult babies dont mix sexuality with playing the role play of being a baby. As for me I think sexuality is sick, im anti-sexual, that also means I think sex is gross. It is also worth pointing out that we do not pretend to be babies all the time, mostly we do this in private, at an Adult Baby Nusery or with a consenting Adult Partner (babies, toddlers and children are never brought in to Infantilism role play, Infantilism is an Adult only thing), though some like my self chose to dress in an imature way while out in public, this does not mean we go around in rompers and fotted sleepers holding teadies and sucking on dumies in public. Less then 1% of adult babies do that and they ushaly play the part of a baby 24/7. Aside from that we are adults that have jobs, familys, hobies, intrests, play sport, go to the pub, watch films, are maried, have romantic relationships and everything else a so called "Normal" person would do.
Now on to you.
Assuming you have read the above, you should know that aside from being an adult baby I have genuine incontinence problem wich has caused a total loss of bowl and bladder controal. Aside from the face that I accepted my condition quite esaly because of being an adult baby, wishing all my life since I was 7 that I was 1 year old and a baby again has tought me alought about regreshion.
There are many diffrent kinds or regreshion, Hypnotic Regreshion, Psycho Sematic Regreshion, Pathalogical Regreshion, Psychoemotive Regreshion and a few others wich I cant remember the technical names of the top of my head.
Im sorry to say this but Psycologists, Psychiatrists and counsilers dont know hardly anything about infantilism and society sees it as abnormal and because they dont understand it either they fear as well. So seeing a shrink wont help clarify what Im about to say.
You said you recently had two members of your imediate family that were close to you passaway, that is a traumatic event, you also said that the first time you wet was when you almost got ran over by a car, again nearly being run over by a car is also a very traumatic event, you wet at that point due to the Fight or Flight wich is a Psyco Sematic response, your brain automaticaly switched in to flight mode and emptied your bladder to make you lighter so that you could run faster, if you had needed to take a poo your bowls would have emptied as well at that point and for the same reason. The same thing would hapen to anyone in a moment of extreme fear once they had switched over to flight mode.
The fact that your wetting has continued and you are not aware of when you need to empty your bladder is a sign of Psycho Sematic Regreshion. This basicaly means that some part of your unconnshious mind is currently finding the world to much to cope with, and just as a 3 year old would regress at the birth of a new sibling, and would probibly eaven start regressing in potty training to, your Psycho Sematic Regreshion is causing you to wet. Im willing to bet you probibly had accidents as a child, this is no diffrent. Unless this regreshion continues and you begin to have problems with your bowls, or start finding yourself talking like a baby or child, or start spilling your food or drink down your front, then you have nothing to worry about. If it does continue, seek help from (and i hate to say it) either a Psychiatric hospital, or an Adult Baby Nusery, (a nusery will be much more comfortable and give you much more freedom then a mental hospital (i been in one 4 times) the down side to the nusery is they will charge you, but you will be able to customise how they treat you their so they wont nesiceraly treat you like a baby if you dont want them to (im assuming you dont want to be treated like a baby) but also compere the nusery to a nut house, in places like psych hospitals the staff basicaly do what they like, and dont belive a word you say, they put you to the floor and beat you when ever they want and you cant do a thing about it, a nusery you are in total controal and since you will not know how long this regreshion lasts till its run its course it could be a safe place, and less embarising then asking a close friend or family member to look after you or change you, what if you loose the ability to walk ?)
I doubt the regreshion will go that far but, it will most likley stay limited to wetting and a child like iratibility.
On the other hand if you are aware of when your bladder needs to empty then this is called Psychemotive Regreshion, it differs from Psycho Sematic Regreshion because Psyco Sematic Regreshion is involentry, Psycoemotive Regreshion is not, but both are caused by high levels of stress and traumatic events, as is the case with most forms of Regreshion. Psychoemotive Regreshion Is the technical name for a form of Regreshion I go through when I Regress back to being 12 months old, anyone can do it, if the minds desire to be a certain age is strong enough. You have to want to be a certain age to undergo Psychoemotive Regreshion and you have to feel that you are that age to. If this is the case then the treatment is simple. Assuming you know what age you whant to be, set asside some private time (prehaps take a holiday of work), you know what it feels like to be the age you want to be because you have already undergone Psychoemotive Regreshion, remember what if feels like to be that age as you go about your daily routine, its up to you weather you wear a diaper or not, but i can tell you they are not as bad as society makes them out to be, you wet in a disposable and they stay warm were as you wet in a cloth and they will get cold and leek if you dont wear plastic pants, as for pooping in a diaper, well this might be the aspergers talking or just because I preceptulise things diffrently because im on the autistic spectrum, but not only will a disposable keep urine warm it keeps poop warm to, cloth does not, infact I dont really have a problem with having to poop in a diaper, most people say poop stinks, i would disagree with that, I tend to asocciate the smell of poop with food like eggs or curry, I just dont like the look of it. Not that you would need to poop in your diaper if you chose to wear one, its just every time you untape a diaper you make it less leak proof, as for sitting in poop, (if thats what your worried about), I suggest you mash 6 bananas up and warm them up in the microwave, then you could either put a diaper on and put the mash the back of your diaper and sit on it, (a practice among infantilists known as diaper stuffing, mixing / mashing food stufs together to simulate a poop texture (food colering is sometimes used to simulate colour) then heating it in a microwave (not to long) and putting it in the back of your diaper) I must say I never tried it, but bassicaly the feeling of sitting in a poopy diaper is, warmth, can be slimey, mushy, gooey, hard (if your constipated), runny(if you got the runs), anoying(if your in public) or if you dont change soon it can sting and that is either from spicy food or diaper rash. as for wetting a diaper most good brands of diapers will hold at leat 3 good soakings.
If you choose to wear a diaper wear it while going about your daily routine, this will help you feel the age that you want to be, keep in the front of your mind memories (if you can remember any) of things you did at that age, of other babies, toddlers, children or teenagers that are that age you want to be (im assuming you know i mean with cloths on), take note of their behaviours and the sounds they make, when you and your sub conchous mind are both ready you will feel yourself becoming that age, and you can use this time to do what ever you want, just know you can become this age when ever you feel the need to, but in society you are viewed as an adult and expexcted to behave as an adult, wich means no wet panties.
You can become the littile girl, toddler or baby inside of you when ever you want as long as you do it in private.
If you are aware of your bladder emptying but have no sensation of your bladder filling or the need to go, this is a physical thing called flacid bladder, basicaly it means that your bladder is stretched to much, you should do kegal exercises twice daily for at least 3 months and you will notice a diffrence, also the minite you notice the sensation that you need to urinate you should go to the toilet.
I hope this helps
I have been a bedwetter all of my life so I have never been a night in 19 years without wearing protection. As a child I wore disposable nappies as my mother found the less washing she had to do the better.
It was whilst doing a school project on the things that damage our envioronment that I realised just what I had caused over the past 15/16 years thousands of nappies in landfill. I asked my mother if she minded if I tried terry cloth nappies and within a week half a dozen along with plastic pants and pins had arrived in our house.
At first I struggled to fasten them up then keep them on from slipping down, with a little practice I mastered this, also I was not used to the extra bulk and this took a little getting used to, especially when I used extra soaker pads at certain times of the month. I perseveered and I soon noticed no difference.
I am not ashamed of my nappies, I have a disability for which I need an apliance which happens to be nappies. Like any other disability there are people out there who will try to make fun of you and belittle you.
I have a very understanding and patient boyfriend who I love very much not every guy would be able to put up with his girlfriend lay in bed nex to him in a wet nappy.
Sorry to hear about your bereavements and I hope you are managing to come to terms with that more now, Hope mthis has helped put things in different perspective for you . Holly
I AM 28 YEARS OLD MAN I LOVE MY ADULT BRIEF DIAPERS
i love adult brief dipers