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I'm sorry to hear about your struggle. It can be very embarrassing to wear absorbent products (adult diapers), but the truth is that they are a medical aid just like a cast or a sling work for a broken arm. Menstrual pads are designed to absorb vaginal discharge and menstrual blood. Products that are designed for incontinence are specifically designed to absorb urine, so you'll have much better luck using those. There are both disposable products and reusable (cloth) products. They both have different advantages and disadvantages. Factors to think about when deciding between disposable and reusable are cost, convenience, environmental impact, and health concerns such as your rash. I'm not quite sure what exactly your rash is, but I know that skin breakdown is a big problem no matter what kind of products people use, because whenever skin gets moist it can start to break down. To help alleviate this problem, make sure that you change your products often, and look into using a lotion that is specifically designed to help the skin. Different products are made differently, and of different materials, so while you may find one product uncomfortable, another product might be fine, so keep looking until you find the right thing for you. Best of luck!